@Uggbootdiva
It's good to hear from you. Sorry you are doing it tough too. Yes so glad school is finished! Last night Xmas concert, I hate the Xmas jingles (can cope with Xmas hymns, tho they make me cry). But I made myself go and sit and watch and clap and praise and not lose it with my 6yo when she was running around like a mad thing instead of eating. I couldn't wait to get out of there but I did manage the small talk a little.
Today another story altogether tho! So stressed about end of year assembly that I accidently got there 1/2 an hour early (left home without teacher's pressie so have to take it tomorrow). Too far to go home again. Went up the road and bought bread at the bakery. Back to school. My daughter wanted to hang around but i was ready to climb the nearest wall. I didn't even wish most people a Merry Xmas - just a bee-line out. SO a big zero on the social scale and I'm so over it I don't even care at the moment. We had to wait for my elder one to get off the public bus anyway but I couldn't get her on her mobile and nearly spat it and drove home. Then I remebered there are 2 buses at that time (usually at least 1/2 hour apart), thankfully she was on second one (the mobile was flat - it had been in her locker overnight).
I managed to get home without shouting at anyone (growled a bit at my middle one, but relented when she explained), and to cook dinner at a civilised time. Then came into the study to hide out. My ex came and suggested I "make an effort" and read the 6yo her bedtime story. He wonders why I ignore him sometimes - like this. Make an effort! He knows I've been really triggered the last few days, we just discussed doing only 1 of the 4 things we'd been considering on the weekend because I can't cope with more than that. My 6yo can be quite needy and I struggle to read to her when I am very agitated. It also tends to agitate her too. So I am feeling really pissed off.
End of rant, deep breath, try to sit up straighter and shrug the kinks out of my shoulders. Take care of you, try not to stress too much about the "social fail" why do those of us with MI have to handle all social situations with perfect aplomb? Not many others do!
Cheers, Kristin
