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  • Author : Emelia8
  • Support : 14
  • Topic : Our stories
13 Jan 2021 08:13 AM
Senior Contributor

I thank you all for your kind messages.  And apologise for not getting back to you before now.

 

Fatigue, lethargy and general unwellness feels like it has set in.  I feel awful all round.  With hubby being away ... I dont have to push myself to do anything. Maybe thats a bad thing?  When I got home ... after a joyful greeting from and for my furbaby ... I slept for a few hours. 

 

Now I feel sluggish and useless.  My skin feels hot and uncomfortable where they are radiating ... the whole of the left breast ... and my left arm is aching. The cough that developed after starting the oral chemo pills, seems to have gotten worse today and my chest feels sore. I have no apetite and have not been eating very well this week.  Again, perhaps its not such a good thing hubby being away.  At least when he's here I'm forced to prepare healthy meals.  When he's not ... I dont feel like eating, so I dont ... and nobody cares. My headache is bad again.

 

Radiation #2 is done ... only 13 to go.  I think I made a good decision in booking into the hospital accommodation for 3 nights next week.  The driving is becoming more difficult, and I think I may be a danger to others on the road.  My mind is wandering and I'm way too tired ... it would be far too easy to just close my eyes, drift off to sleep ... and to be done with all this garbage.

 

I was to see the nurse after my radiation today, but she was tied up with another patient.  I didnt want to wait, so I rescheduled that session for tomorrow instead.

 

I feel so fed up with it all.  I was hoping to hear from my psych's office today (unexpectedly) letting me know that there had been a cancellation and she could see me today or tomorrow.  But no ... it hasnt happened.  Feeling bereft.

 

Trying to tag all those who have posted to me here lately.  My apologies if I miss any of you.  Its just my headspace ... its not good, and my concentration is even worse.  @Anastasia  @Former-Member @NatureLover @Former-Member @Eve7 @BlueBay @Former-Member @Peri @outlander @Former-Member @Snowie @WIP @Bow @Zoe7 @Clawde @Sans911 @Exoplanet 

 

Myboy ... As you know, I kept you in my pocket until I had to change into the dreaded white linen robe. Tried to smuggle you into the radiation room with me ... but failed. Probably a good thing ... its not safe in there. Wouldnt want you feeling like I do right now.  You've been ill enough yourself these past few days.

 

I just read through my post ... I sound like such a sad sack whinger. Depression is setting in ... I feel it descending over me like a black shroud.  I really should be grateful for the great service and support that cancer patients receive in our medical world, because Australia is so lucky in that regard. Affordable medical care ... in fact almost everything is bulk billed.  I am grateful .. I really am.  And immensely grateful also for each of you.  Thanks.  I should go now.  Maybe come back when I dont feel so damned low.

 

@Mellysmellyelly ... just wanted to apologise for not responding to your posts to me on the other thread.  Its lovely to see you giving so much support around the forums.  You are a lovely addition to the membership.  I hope you are receiving the support you need as well.  I will be there for you when I feel a little better.  Just a bad few days for me.  I wanted you to know, that I really appreciated your post to me about your sister in law and her recovery from breast cancer.  I will respond properly in due course.  Sorry for the delay.

 

Emelia ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ˜”

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