TW: Trauma and relationships

[creative_writer]

@tyme the weather is lovely today, we can only enjoy it while it lasts. I wish Melbourne wasn’t so awful with allergies, it would’ve been so nice to sit on the grass and smell the flowers.

@Glisten I’m not up to much today, maybe once I am able to jump back I can add more activities in. I had a nice warm shower and did some hair and skincare stuff

[Glisten]

@creative_writer that’s cool 😎 I only had those ideas. Because my friend who has Burn Out from working as a teacher for 30 years with high risk children and currently getting divorced, has childhood trauma.

She is hiking through Spain in September.

G

[creative_writer]

@Glisten there comes a point when you have to rest up the burn out, I’m struggling to move and get things done since I’m so exhausted. I’m used to living on the edge, constantly guarded and masking. I just want to feel worth it, what hurt me the most was that I was shut down from talking about trauma. It made me feel worthless, like I had done so deeply shameful. Part of the reason why I struggle with forming relationships is fear of getting hurt, part of it is also from my feelings of worthlessness. It’s hard to believe anyone could really care or love about the real me

[Glisten]

@creative_writer Nww I’m so sad for you. Who made you feel this way about yourself?

You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.

If my ex can find someone nice to love him, then you are definitely very loveable.

@creative_writer you are perfect just the way you are 🌸 G

[creative_writer]

@Glisten it was intentional, but sometimes the people who love you try to avoid talking about heavy stuff, it’s often parents. It’s hard to not internalise it

[Glisten]

@creative_writer it’s not fair and you don’t deserve that treatment.

I’m grateful that you are here with us in the Forum.

You have so much to offer and I appreciate and respect you.

My world is a better place because you are in it.

G

[creative_writer]

@Glisten oops I was meant to say it wasn’t intentional. ADHD brain typo, proofreading my messages and assignments doesn’t always work in my favour. It came from a place of love, but obviously sweeping things under the rug helps no one. I didn’t actually talk about it in therapy until years later.

I appreciate you too, I don’t know where I would be without the forums 💖

[Glisten]

@creative_writer it’s good thing that I have ADHD. Because I read it the way you intended it to be. 😂

G

[creative_writer]

@Glisten I’ve had times where I hyper focused on what I wrote, but it takes so much brain power and time mastering perfection. Universities do feed into perfectionist tendencies.

The whole pushing it under the rug is a very common occurrence, but I do believe it feeds into the shame cycle for many of us. I know there has been a push towards talking about emotions more openly in the recent years, but it takes time to change a society