not coping

[outlander]

it was ok @Eve7 took up basically most of my day cause the scans can take up to 5 hours so i was there on and off at the radiologist place.
i seen the dr tomorrow for it. ive had a look at the scans though and im really worried. it just might be showing what she was worried about too so im going to get have a chat to her tomorrow after my allergy clinic appointment

[Eve7]

It’s good you’re seeing the dr tomorrow @outlander and not having to wait too long for results.

I know it’s hard but please try not to worry over it all until your Dr tells you what is happening.

Hopefully the Dr will have a positive treatment plan for you hon that will bring some relief for you.

Sitting with you tonight and making us a cuppa too.

[outlander]

i just want it over and done with @Eve7 its exhausting me and im so anxious waitng for results 😞

[Eve7]

I hear you @outlander it’s just one sleep away hon

Can you do something nice for yourself tonight before bed...a shower or bath? Go outside and look at the stars.

Sending a hug 🤗

[outlander]

and i have a surgical date for dental work too. its only a month away, they couldve even had me in quicker but i need to get a few hundred to pay the gap in the hospital fees.

ive had a shower, done all my nails, made a cup of tea, cant concentrate enough to study the last few days but i probably should.
i went for a drive earlier and i was speaking to people at the paddock just as general convo but im so anxious now its hard to breathe

im having a tea now and listening to music @Eve7 

[Eve7]

You have done some great things for yourself today @outlander which is awesome. Sometimes when I am super anxious I try and do some hard maths or translate a chapter of a book into French using google so my mind becomes super occupied so maybe doing your study would be a good idea.

You have a lot to face in the coming days hon and I hope you don't feel too alone 💜

[outlander]

yeah i thought studies would help. my new medications ive been on have been affecting my memory as well, i cant remember anything i read out of the whole topic i done the other day except one fact out of 25 pages! i jsut cant get into it lately. no sure if thats because my injury is assicated with the horses and im just tired of them atm or what it is

[Eve7]

Have you tried making dot points as you read @outlander ? I find that helpful with my ect memory fog.

I'm watching a rather interesting episode of Dateline dealing with the "red light" district in Amsterdam. There's all types of people in this world and it's good to be openminded...but I'm getting too old for this type of thing!!

[outlander]

i have @Eve7 i think its the meds though. i was fine and doing well in my studies till a week ago when i increased my medications for nerve pain. a known side effect is the loss of conectration and brain fog. ill just have to try and persevere for abit till my body adjust to this dose and then hopefully i can get back into it. i just passed my other course with high destinctions just 2 weeks ago so i have no idea.

im watching without a trace atm but im getting tired staying up. not the sleepy tired just the fatigued worn out tired so i think ill go lay down in bed. i have an 8am appt then the drs after that. im hoping to get abit of housework done in the morning if i can. ive put my moonboot back on so might help a little.

[Eve7]

I'll say good night too @outlander 

Please take care, you are very important

💜💙💜