What’s next?

[Bellarose75]

Sitting here listening to the bird noises (I would like to say bird song but there is too many different sounds) As I said in my getting start post, I have hit rock bottom and slipped into a crack and it has me wondering what now! I know the only way is up (as I sing that one line from a song I can't remember the rest of the words too) In my last session I finally got it, the only hand that can pull me out is my own and that scares me due to the lack of faith, well the lack of anything in myself to succeed. 

So here I am, stripped raw not a memory left unexplored (that I am aware of)  no secrets hidden. Now I get to start again, putting it all back together bit by bit. I know there will be lots of times I may fall backwards but I am hoping that I won't get stuck there. 

[Bellarose75]

Good morning @Emelia8  @Lee82  @greenpea @Anastasia @Eve7 @outlander  and anyone else passing through. 

[Anastasia]

@Bellarose75 🌸💞🌸

[Mazarita]

Hi @Bellarose75 the birds here have gone into that quiet phase after the noisy dawn (I've been up all night). I relate about lack of faith in myself, as you described. Also have explored the past a lot, too much and in great detail. But in your post I am hearing the hope and desire for better in the wake of this. Well wishes for your rising strength.

[Bellarose75]

I always wait not so paitently to see what beautiful words or flowers you post my friend. Hoping today is an easy one @Anastasia 

Hi @Mazarita, yes the birds have dull down here as well. Sorry sleep eluded you last night, I hope that it doesn't happen to offen for you. Me and sleep are great friends and I only get it because of medication, which can sometimes choose not to work!!! I only have hope, without that it would continue to be a painful and bleak life. I want to claim back my joy, my hope but mainly my peace. Wishing you an easy day with some rest hopefully

[Appleblossom]

Mostly I rely on birdsong for ambience, but my son visited and I had wonderful sensitive piano music including Mozart this morning.

@Bellarose75 @Anastasia @Mazarita 

Hope the day is good for all.

[greenpea]

@Bellarose75  Good morning Bellarose75. Hoping you are having a wonderful day :)xx. I have been for a walk and done some gardening. Feeling like I have achieved so much already. Love to you. pea

[Bellarose75]

That sounds very soothing @Appleblossom, we don't listen to music much anymore, we have found it triggers us in all the wrong ways for now. Happy your son paid you a visit this morning there is no better way to start the day. 

How is my pea this morning? I really hope are having an easy day and yes you sound like you have been a very busy little pea. I managed to get down to my paint room but not much happening down there. Lunch break now and see if the afternoon brings any inspiration. @greenpea 

Hey there my love, how are you doing today? I had a rough night but otherwise I am doing ok. Love you 3000 @Lee82 

[greenpea]

@Bellarose75  Bellarose75!!!! so good to see you! Took me awhile to know who you are :):):) I love the name it really suits you. Looking forward to seeing some more of your wonderful paintings. Love always peaxxx

[Lee82]

Hey my love. I am not fewlong so out of it today. I am a litrle more conherent. Still lethargic and sensitive to noise and light. 
I am so sirry you had a rough night beautiful. I hope today has been a bwtywr day for you.  
@Bellarose75