Trying to be happy, isn’t working

[Emelia8]

How I wish I could offer comfort @Peri .  I wish you were not in despair, I wish you were not lonely, I wish you had more joy in your life.

I miss my Mum terribly too.  Next week it will be 2 years since she died.  I still regularly think to myself "Oh I must tell Mum when I ring her".  But of course I cannot.  Same with my husband.  I dont think any of that will ever really change.

I am really sorry that you lie down each night pretending that you will not get up the next morning.  I'm sorry you feel so alone.  I know you miss your son and family overseas.  I know you have one son living with you and a grand daughter who spends time there as well.  And I'm sure that is a great comfort and source of joy for you.  But I think we all need more than that, and I really wish you could find that.  I wish I could for me too.  I understand I think, and wish it were different.

Much love and a comforting hug

Emelia 💕🤗

[Peri]

To all the people who have offered support here,

@Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Eve7 @Anastasia @outlander ,

and others, 

i would like to thank you all for support you have offered, but I think it is time for me to leave and take time out. I have been feeling this for some time, for a few reasons.

i think I need to get on in the land of the living and communicating with people who are in my life.  I am not sure that I can actually do this, but  virtual living is strange and I find it difficult to connect here and feel like I keep saying the wrong thing.  I am also not good at just taking things as truth and have serious concerns about a lot of what I read, but it is not for me to judge , so I will just take a break.

peri

[Anastasia]

Dear @Peri 

I understand.

I will miss you.

I'm sorry I'm not here much, I think of you always. I will continue to.

Please take care, work on friendships, perhaps a job, all the things you plan to.

Hug your Granddaughter and son.

Love always Peri and always here for you xox

[Shaz51]

hello @Peri  and sending you lots of tender hugs my awesome friend 

here for you if you want to talk 

self care is soo important and to find that right balance is sometimes tricky to work out 

[Shaz51]

hello @Peri 

[Peri]

Thank you @Shaz51 ,

i don’t think I am ok  and I don’t seem to be able to do anything to help myself 

how are you?

peri

[Shaz51]

hugs @Peri 

here for you if you want to talk about anything xxx

[Emelia8]

Dear @Peri 

I am sorry to hear you have decided to leave, or at least take some time out.  However, I totally understand your reasons, especially that of getting on with the land of the living and communicating with people in your offline life.  Forum life can become pretty depressing sometimes, especially when so many here seem to be going through such a lot at present.  It can be hard not to fall into the trap of caring too much about others.  Especially when in reality there is nothing we can do here other than offer our support to those we care about and reassure them that they are not alone.  That can get pretty difficult at times.  I agree with you that virtual reality, ie forums, is somewhat strange and can be difficult for many, to connect in a meaningful way.  I will say however, that I do not believe you say the wrong thing to people.  I see you as a straight talker ... which I like and value very much.

Having said all that ... I respect your choice to take a break if thats what you feel you need.  I really hope you can find what you want in real life.  Spending time with family is important and I know you love your sons and your little granddaugher. I know you love your little doggies too, so I hope they are all well and keeping you company as they tend to do. I really hope you follow up on attempting to find some part time work ... either paid or voluntary.  It gives you a sense of purpose and makes you feel worthwhile and useful.

And always know that you will be welcomed back here any time you choose to return.

Sending you some love and best wishes.  I have greatly valued my opportunity of getting to know you, albeit online.

Emelia 💞

[Anastasia]

Just in case you check in @Peri 

These are for you to brighten your day xoxo

Love to you always dear Peri 🙏💕

[Peri]

Thank you @Anastasia 

@I appreciate you very much. You are very kind

peri