TRIGGERRED!!!!!

[outlander]

i do love the pictures @Shaz51 the little cats are cute and i can imagine that is how you hug

ive been triggerred alot today @eth from my csa. i am too tired to fight it.my depression has taken over and the more im triggerred i can feel myself go down but i dont know how to stop it. i dont know how to bring myself back up. i am having trouble dealing with the flashbacks, esp the physical side of them. 

[eth]

sorry @outlander my notifications just came through or I would have got back to you sooner.  Sorry to hear what you're going through.  Be gentle with yourself tonight - maybe a movie or a book to take your mind off it all.

[outlander]

thats ok @eth

ive been watching movies and things all day to keep safe. avoided anywhere and everyone. i didnt go to work. i havent left the house at all. hiding away. im watching a movie again now. waiting for it to finish in half hr then wil switch to a book and movie

[outlander]

Hey @Former-Member
I tried the herbal tea again for the 3rd time but i still cant drink it 😞

[MDT]

Hey @outlander
Please take care of yourself

[outlander]

Been trying to do that all day @MDT sometimes successful not all day though 😞
I wish something would give tonight

[outlander]

@Former-Member i dont want to take over your thread so will write here.

I cabt keep having time off. I have to go work with the person who triggerred my csa and i dont think i can handle it. It was unintended on their behalf but as u know it doesnt work that way with trauma.

No they wont be aleeping over and thats the time ill need to go do the second job. With xmas approaching ive got lots of horses to be doing. Ones going away as of tomorrow for a few days then another in a few more days then another in january.

I dont know if anything is worth it anymore. Im too senstive to triggers. My works triggerring. Family. My own house 😞 there seems to be nothing that doesnt trigger me. Even outlander was getting to me today so had to turn it off.

[Former-Member]

@outlanderI know you don't want to take time off work but you need to put yourself first. I am worried about you sis. I know you spoke to SANE about getting a new psychologist. I think that needs to happen sooner rather than later.

It is worth it and you are worth it. I am not giving up on you 

[outlander]

I just dont know @Former-Member then I have to retell everything. They only help for a few sessions anyway. It feels like a waste of time and energy atm.
And work. Probably get the sack soon enough with the time ive been having to take off even at 4 days a week. Its back up because of the workload and that is with my bosses help as well.

Im.heading to bed now. Sleep wont come but all well nothing new. Goodnight to you ❤ i hope your able to sleep even a little bit ❤

Good night to you too @greenpea ❤

[outlander]

And thanks for chatting ❤