Struggling

[Fluttershy1]

Good morning @Former-Member  @Zoe7 @Anastasia @Appleblossom @Snowie @MDT @Former-Member @Lee82 @Eve7 @Emelia8 @jem80 @BPDSurvivor @frog @Maggie @Bunniekins @outlander @NatureLover @oceangirl @Schitzo @Owlunar @Judi9877 @Caringsoul73 - I hope you are all well! 

I had a rough night with my MH it was like a rollercoaster. I relapsed which I now regret. I'm sitting here crying. Not knowing how I feel today. Things are abit here there and everywhere.

I have got other issues outside of my MH that a going crazy and I can't even fix that let alone trying to help myself. I wish family could understand the emotions and pain I'm in when everything is like this. I wish they understood what it's like to have SI & SH thoughts. I wish they just could understand. But they don't so I always act like everything is okay around them when it's not. It's a mess but I keep it all inside of me until everyone goes to sleep. Then I let it all go. 

Family don't believe that I have MH issues apparently I'm just faking it when I'm not. I'm actually struggling. They don't even believe that I have a heart condition apparently I'm faking that aswell and I know I'm not. I know that there is something wrong with my heart. 

I'm just over trying to explain myself to my family about how I am feeling. I'll just keep it to myself and act like everything is okay when it isn't. 

I'm safe. I'm safe.

Take care🙈

@Former-Member 

[MDT]

Hi @Fluttershy1
I am well thanks. How are you?

[Appleblossom]

Hey @Fluttershy1 

I am really glad you are safe. 

It is difficult when we feel obliged to put on a happy face all the time with our families.  Maybe they want us to feel good so they can reassure themselves.  WIthout blaming anyone, it makes mental health a psycho-social situation. A kind of mismatch. When that mismatch is severe it could cause a lot of stress and strain. Are you able to get clear medical guidance about your physical heart issues?

Apple

[Fluttershy1]

Hi @MDT, 

really not great. 

I wish things could be better

i wish it could get eaiser

i wish family could understand 

I'm on the verge of giving up

i don't know what to do anymore?

I'm starting to hate myself again. 
what happens if I'm a let down? 
what happens if I'm a failure?

im safe 😭😭😭

[Anastasia]

Hi @Fluttershy1 

I'm so sorry that they don't understand.

My boys father doesn't either and it's awful for my boy.

Can you involve them in an appointment around your MH and heart condition?

Maybe hearing it from the dr they might then believe it?

Sending you love as always thinking of you sweetie 💞

Hey @MDT hope you are well buddy 😊

[MDT]

I'm glad you are safe @Fluttershy1 but I also am sad to see you struggling

Sometimes people can be hard to do deal with and especially when they dint seek to understand our pain

Is there anyone you are close to that can be a support outside the family scenario? A friend or someone else in your extended family.

Either way, we are here to support you my friend.

[Fluttershy1]

Hey @Appleblossom,

The doctors have told my family about my heart condition. They just think I'm seeking attention.

[Fluttershy1]

@Anastasia - My Dr has tried explaining it to them but they still don't believe it. I'm sitting here in tears once again. I just wish it got abit better. I wish they could understand when they don't believe me that it hurts me more. I wish they could understand the pain I am in. I wish they could believe that my MH is real not fake. I wish they could stop telling me that when I go to the hospital for my MH that I'm attention seeking. I wish MH triage could at least not push me away when I don't have much support at the moment.

I'm a mess at the moment my head is absolutely everywhere. 

I'm safe 💙

[Fluttershy1]

Hey @MDT, 

only my support team understands, I'm trying to get all the right supports but NDIS have taken my support hours away so now I only have 7 hours a week which isn't fair at all. It really hurts me. I wish it could get better. They have also made me change my Pysch appointments to fortnightly which isn't good for me at this current point of time because of everything going on.

I feel like I'm not being heard by anyone accept my support team and here

im safe 🐬

[MDT]

Is your support team trying to explain to your family what you deal with? @Fluttershy1
I'm not 100% sure how it works with NDIS stuff I'm sorry.

What do those 7 hours encompass ?