Riding a wave

[CheerBear]

4 somethings are not my favourite time to be up @Phoenix_Rising. 5 somethings are ok with me though.

Do you ever get big feelings (of whatever kind they may be) that are so big they stop you from being able to do even simple things? They just kind of freeze you on the spot? I do. I need to unfreeze and settle them before I can do anything really. I just need to sit with them before doing anything.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear Oh I totally TOTALLY get that. It is a bazillion percent ok to do nothing. We should never do anything when we are in lizard brain. There are very few things in this world that need to be acted on right now. I am working at doing nothing when I have super big feelings. For example, I might write an email, but then save it as a draft. Nope, we should never do things when we are in lizard brain! 

I am actually working super hard at training myself that when I have the feeling that I have to do something NOW, that is the cue to WAIT. I tell myself that the I-must-do-something-right-now feeling always passes, just like all other feelings. And once it has passed, THEN it is time to think about the next step. So...it's like I'm working at riding the I-must-do-something-right-now wave in the same way that I ride the waves of grief, suicidal ideation, frustration etc. 

I'm guessing something has happened to make you freeze @CheerBear. It's ok to freeze. It is a safety response that our clever brains know how to do. Breathe, listen to your inside, and know that it is a bazillion percent ok to do nothing. You've had a trillion previous experiences of freezing and then later de-freezing such that then you know what to do. And I am 100% certain that you will always do what is in the best interests of you and your LF. Whatever it is that has made your brain freeze, you've got this!

[CheerBear]

Thank you SO much for understanding @Phoenix_Rising. You understand so well.

I think sometimes my big feelings feel so much like giant fear and maybe they're not but they feel like they are. Giant fear has been the cause of sooooo much broken brain that I fear the feeling of giant fear. It makes me go bang and jolt and pop. I need to let the feeling pass so I can understand what it actually is that I am feeling before I do anything.

I really like that there are ways we can kind of hit pause on things so we can let feelings pass before doing. Thank you for reminding me of that 🙂

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear we appear to have cross-posted...and yet kind-of said the same thing. Have you done whatever you need to do in order to be able to come back to the brain-freezing thing later? If so, then you can let it go now until your brain de-freezes. 

[CheerBear]

Yes I have @Phoenix_Rising. This pause and revisit trick, it's so helpful. It's like a magic time stop. It's one of the most helpful tricks I have picked up and it's something you show us all how to do so often.

Is your appointment a morning/afternoon/evening one, with TTT today? (If you can/feel up to sharing)

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear you made me giggle by saying that I show you all how to press the pause button often. Trust me, I don't ALWAYS do it - it's a work in progress. 

Something else just made me giggle too. You are currently struggling because your brain is frozen, right? Yet at other times you struggle because your brain is melted. We seriously need to try to figure out the optimum temperature for your brain to be at!!! 

I am seeing TTT at 10am. I am SUPER looking forward to it. I feel sad sometimes when other Forumites talk about being anxious re. seeing their psych. I'm never anxious going to see TTT. The only bit I find anxiety provoking is the waiting in the waiting room bit. 

[CheerBear]

Haha yeah somewhere between on fire, melted and frozen is probably the way to go @Phoenix_Rising. None of these work together. It kind of reminds me of the time I was talking about my fish flapping around in a whirlpool and then coming to the surface again and you said that didn't sound great (which made me giggle even though I was in a whoooole world of not-funny) 😆

TTT is fab and it's SO great that you have her. I feel a bit sad sometimes too, when I think about some of the fear people have with their psychs. I don't really feel anxious seeing mine, except for when I know we are doing something brain mashing, like paperwork and letters. Then my feelings of being anxious aren't so much about seeing my psych as they are about seeing the crushing reality of my life from a certain perspective.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I am giggling all over again at the image of your LF coming to the surface.  Do you realise that it is almost a year since that happened? We have certainly had some adventures together-but-not over the past year haven't we!

Are the LF stirring at your place yet? Are they on holidays? I think the holidays are different across states at the moment. This coming Friday is the last day of term here in NSW. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@CheerBearwrote:
Haha yeah somewhere between on fire, melted and frozen is probably the way to go @Phoenix_Rising. 

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@CheerBear I was contemplating what the middle ground is between melted and frozen, and I've decided that it's kind-of a slurry of crushed ice. So...for optimal functioning, I think you need your brain to be a slurpee.  

[CheerBear]

It was the 21/4 that the CATTs were called @Phoenix_Rising and that everything went extra bananas for me. Which means it was early May that the fish surfaced in a whirlpool 😆 It's been an incredible year.

Puffer fish and clown fish are now up. They get up early and play their devices together, often in my bed. It's their get along time which usually ends once they're up and properly moving (so I like to go as long as it can).

We have one more week of holidays left, but they were off a week earlier because we went away. It's funny to imagine the Easter break not being on the holidays where you are.

Do you have anything planned after you see TTT? Have you started baby dragon?

Adding that Yes! Slurpee brain could definitely work Phoenix_rising! It's one of our favourite treats and something we do when things get wonky in our world. We had way too many slurpees when we were living at a home when we didn't have a home. Slurpees always make things better 😁