Thanks @Former-Member. I'm SO confused. I so very very badly wish I could pour out the whole story here - but I've been told I'll be banned from Forum Land if I do. Shhhhhh don't tell, Phoenix_Rising!
To me, this part of the puzzle illustrates the difference between equality and equity. They AREN'T treating everybody equally and like you say, it's right that they shouldn't because we are all different. However, if you are going to deny something to one person that every other person is able to access, surely it makes sense to compensate for that in some other way. To me, that would be equitable.
Super super super SUPER big thank you for appearing @NikNik. But no, I don't believe that your inability to respond to me today was in any way intentional or gaslighting. It is the puzzle I just put to my peers in Forum Land that I feel is a form of gaslighting. I won't name the person involved here but I will shoot you an email now.
The fact that you couldn't respond today was intensely distressing because I was told you would and thus I waited around all day, just focusing on staying calm, waiting for you. I did hear you when you said you were too busy. I feel despairing because now in order to address it tomorrow, I won't be going to my volunteering gig.
I have emailed LOTS today NikNik and no one responded. And as I have mentioned here in Forum Land, I've been waiting a WHOLE WEEK for a response to an email I sent last Friday. I'm TRYING NikNik. I AM emailing, but so many of my emails go unanswered and unacknowledged. 
Can I please sleep in your nutella jar tonight???
I don’t want to try to guess without knowing @Phoenix_Rising .....
It sounds to me like over there they are trying to work out what to do very carefully, because there is a scared and hurting turtle in the middle of this muddle ..... and they need to be careful about that .....
And the potential solutions you can see through talking it through .... maybe they can’t see things from the same perspective that you do at the moment ..... and I say “at the moment” because I believe in change and movement ...... but change and movement takes time ..... and any time I mention time you will be wanting to know how much time ..... and I don’t have that piece of the puzzle either .....
The pieces of the puzzle we have in our part of Forumland look like this .....
.... and they don’t look like they fit together .... but you have more puzzle pieces, and so do the others involved .....
And all of this might sound like reframing to you .... whereas to me it all sounds like turning puzzle pieces over, trying to fit them together, recognising that pieces are missing, and sitting down to wait for the change of circumstances ..... or get up and start knocking on doors asking for more puzzle pieces .... asking for help to fit puzzle pieces together ..... asking for a new version of the puzzle and the chance to start again .... and it sounds to me like you have already been doing a lot of that anyway ....
The sciencey-problem-solvey side of my brain is pretty well moshed together with my carey-feeling-connecty side of my brain ..... and then there’s a whole slosh of arty-crafty spilled in all over the top of it .... so trying to sort things out this way is just what I do .... so if it is what is referred to as reframing .... well that’s a giant part of f&h-think and how I trabpnslate things to try to make more sense out of them.
Here’s a visual on that ....
And what my “finding order in it” does for that .....
.... but sometimes too, like my situation now, it’s still this ....
Thank you to everyone who has ridden the waves with me this evening. I feel exhausted and so very very afraid. It has super helped though to know that the one piece of the puzzle I was able to share doesn't make sense to you guys either. This is total brain mushing stuff. Telling me they can't do something for me that they don't do for anyone else while at the same time imposing a ban on me that they don't do for anyone else is truly brain mushing stuff. My brain is so very very VERY broken.
I am going to ride out the rest of this very dark and stormy night snuggled in @NikNik's giant nutella jar.
Thank you so SO much for helping me to feel less alone in this bewildering muddle. A super special thank you to you @Former-Member because I know how hard it can be for you to be here even when it isn't this stormy, much less when it is!
Ps. Here is another story I super like @OhanaSystem 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvuNjPLP9J0
@Former-Member are you watching over the ocean tonight? Can you see @NikNik and me in the giant nutella jar?
Night Forum Land.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.