Riding a wave

[Faith-and-Hope]

Leaving a gift here for you @Phoenix_Rising ..... 🌷

[soul]

Hear, hear @Phoenix_Rising - raising my cup of iced herbal tea to you and wishing you a better year. Hope 2018 is one that leads you to the path of fulfilment. 

[Maggie]

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Maggie I came into Forum Land this morning feeling very very down, but the picture you posted just made me laugh a lot and thus super brightened my mood.  I will definitely be saving that one on my computer!

@Faith-and-Hope One of your pictures is STILL a triangle. Do you think this is a world record for the triangle of doom?

@Zoe7 I really snuck in here this morning just to tell you that you were the last person I thought of before I fell asleep last night, and the first person I thought of when I woke up this morning. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Pssssst @CheerBear, It is the-world-gets-back-to-normal eve! We made it!!!!!!!! 

I am feeling super alone and detached from the whole world, CheerBear. You are still there exactly the same as always aren't you, even though I can't feel anything. I think maybe I will sleep in your pocket tonight...I hope it won't be too hot in there! Hmmm...maybe I need to sleep on your bedside table or something. It is pretty hot here and I'm wondering if it is as hot at your house!!! 

There seems to be lots of super cool conversation happening on the DBT thread! I will drop by there tomorrow. I have written the next "proper" post, but will hold off until Wednesday to post it since that conversation is bubbling along a bit. Have you started on the DT stuff yet? I plan to start the ER stuff as soon as I finish the mindfulness module so that HOPEFULLY I will have it ready to go when we are up to it. 

Things are super tricky at the moment, CheerBear. Not painful, but tricky. I feel very very odd. I know it is my clever brain's way of protecting itself, but it is still extremely disconcerting. 

Anyway, I am SUPER glad that the world will start getting back to normal tomorrow.

Night CheerBear. Super big thank you for being my not friend. 

[CheerBear]

It's quite cool here tonight. Dressing gown and slippers kind of cool so you shouldn't be too warm @Phoenix_Rising but my awesome desk is there as my bedside table if you'd like. And yep, I am still the same me and the same me is still here.

Yay for making it to the-world-gets-back-to-normal eve! When do you see TTT again? My world will feel more normal from next week when I see my MH worker and GP I think 🙂

Re writing the DT module, does pinning pics on Pinterest for it count as writing? 😛 I have jotted down some ideas but haven't written much in the way of words that make sense. I may have a night free early next week and will probably find myself writing some stuff ready to go for whenever it is DT time. I have some psych homework that will tie into it well. We're going to make a big laminated check box of specific things to use to get through and when, and start using a traffic light kind of system (after the December rollercoaster). I need to write down skills that help me so I'll do both that and the DBT adventure. I enjoyed the DBT thread today. There are cool conversations that happen over there!

Odd feelings are tricky. I hope things maybe feel a little less odd with the world getting back to normal, though I know that's only a part of it.

Night Phoenix_Rising

P.S. How is that mega med going with sleep?

P.P.S big huge thanks for being my not-friend also 🙂

[Phoenix_Rising]

HAPPY WORLD-STARTS-GETTING-BACK-TO-NORMAL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And given some of what has been happening in Forum Land in the past 36 hours, I for one feel super grateful that it is the 2nd of January. The past 36 hours have shown me that my inside was right in telling me to severely limit my time in Forum Land over the Christmas period. But now some super clever people are around again to help make Forum Land safe. Happy New Year @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member @NikNik.

I think Forum Land is in a muddle, but I know we can unmuddle it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8YWZm_YKoo 

[Zoe7]

@Phoenix_Rising I was playing your song (trying to anyway) but there was no sound - me thinking it is just another thing that isn't working - then I realised I had the sound muted lol...

....thought you might get a giggle out of that - after you face-palm of course 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Zoe7 Yep, definitely a face-palm moment! 

@CheerBear I am super glad that you are the same you even though I can't feel any connection to anyone or anything. I ended up sleeping in your pocket given that it was clearly much cooler at your house than at mine. 

I am seeing TTT on Thursday next week. I saw my GP this morning, thus ending my eleven days of no human contact. The funny thing is, between now and seeing TTT in nine days, the only human contact I will have is one phone call, so really, the difference between the past eleven days and the next nine days isn't exactly a lot. 

Giggle, I'm not sure if pinning pics on Pinterest counts as writing the DT stuff.  I don't know yet whether I will do all three of the "how" skills in one post. I will write the whole lot up and then see if it is too much for one post. So in theory (barring buses) it will be DT time in 2-3 weeks. 

Oh you asked about the mega med. Yeah it works super well...so well, it scares me. I was talking to my GP this morning about how terrified I am of developing a drug dependency. She assured me that the pharmacist was being a little melodramatic and that this medication isn't really any more scary in terms of dependency than the one I've used for a bazillion years. Thus the plan is that I will commit to using it again for the next 3-5 nights to try and get my sleep back into a good rhythem. 

My GP is so funny. When I saw her before Christmas and we were talking about the medication, she told me to "just experiment with it." I was like "so...the GP who forged my signature on a document is now telling me to experiment with the highly addictive drug she just prescribed me....right...". 

I super like her and I am so very very grateful for her. I have never had this much contact with a GP before in my life and there's no way I could have got through the past two years without her. Two years...can you believe it is TWO YEARS since therapist-take-one dumped me? Two years since that, and two-and-a-half years since I left Fred...and twnety-one years since I saw my first therapist. 

I feel so utterly hopeless and so very VERY tired of the attitude of "just get through today." I don't WANT to just get through the day, I want to HEAL. What is the point of getting through one day, only to have to get through the next - day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year. I am SO OVER the whole "just distract" thing. Why is it that most mental health professionals want to teach coping skills rather than helping people to actually HEAL!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 

I am super grateful to have found TTT because I get the sense that she is interested in helping people heal. The only problem now is that my soul died two days before I had my first appointment with her, so I'm really not sure that there is anything left to heal now. Take twenty-one years to find a helpful therapist, have a catastrophic soul-obliviating event occur two days before you see her. Yep, that pretty much sums up my life right there. 

[Zoe7]

I need a mega med @Phoenix_Rising