Riding a wave

[CheerBear]

I have an idea for some Christmas cheer in the Christmas thread @Phoenix_Rising 🙂 Looking forward to seeing you there. And yep, pocket always open. Hope it feels comfy in there. 

Night Phoenix_Rising

[Faith-and-Hope]

‘’Night @Phoenix_Rising ..... 🌹

Well said @CheerBear @Teej ..... I think love is on a spectrum.  That would explain in part why it can be experienced in different strengths and depths by different people, and it is probably affected by how much we choose to engage with it as well .....

’Night @CheerBear @Teej @Former-Member @Former-Member (If you’re here) ...... and anybody else about this thread.

I will be floating around a bit longer elsewhere .....

[Phoenix_Rising]

The waves are so so so huge. There isn't a person on the planet who can stand being around me irl. How does anyone live with that objective reality???

[CheerBear]

Morning @Phoenix_Rising. I am thinking that even though it may have been really tricky, you have made it to meeting TTT eve. I can't figure out the hours thing yet but it isn't too far away from being less than 20 I think. Go you 🙂

I went through the DBT schedule again last night and think our next step is a DT one. Is that correct? I plan to head over to the DBT thread later today or tomorrow and have a proper look through it and reply before working on a DT post, but I've been a bit distracted pondering the just do it thing and trying to find some kind of an answer or something to go with. I fell asleep with a performance psych text book in my hand the other night while I was on a hunt. It's one of my favourite text books and there's a section on emotion regulation and cognitive functioning. I could spend the rest of forever just pondering that and still not get anywhere, so I may need to leave it and move on or I will be here forever, but it's been flagged in my head as something I want to work out one day.

Better run and start the day. Back later, but here when I'm not.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @CheerBear,

Superly duperly big thank you for being the best not-friend in the whole world. Thank you so much for riding the waves with me. 

As for the DBT adventure, yes, the next step is a DT one. However, you do know that I still have some more to do on the current step, right? I am up to p.188 in the manual and need to get to p.213. My aim is to do the other two "what" skills in the next post, and then the three "how" skills in a final one. I am super hoping to still achieve this with my newly destroyed brain. I only need to read 10 pages to do the next bit. Surely I can do that by Monday! 

I think it would be a super plan for you to get working on the DT stuff now so that there is a reasonable chance (depending on the number of buses that come your way!!!!!) that you will have it ready to go once I finish the mindfulness stuff (and given how many buses come my way, that could be somewhere in the year 2020 at the rate I'm going!!!!). My plan then (which obviously depends on buses!!!!) is that I will work on the ER module while you are going through the DT stuff so that HOPEFULLY I will have it ready to go once you have finished. The way we are going, I reckon we will find our rhythm just as we start the twenty-fourth step! Stupid buses!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CheerBear]

It's great to see you this morning @Phoenix_Rising. Thanks for having me tag along for the wave riding and for your not-friendship ☺

I think your plan with the other posts sounds great and your idea for me to start writing up some DT soon is also sensible. We have some handy recent experience to draw upon for this one I think! Buses can definitely throw things off track and given the bus magnets I must have attached to me, it makes sense to start now. I think it was always going to be a bit of a wonky journey and I'm ok with it taking until 2020 or the 24th step to find our rhythm ☺

Something I am curious about, but I am not sure if you want to share so I will quietly mention it here and then leave it, was what it was that prompted your love question last night. I realised I couldn't work it out when I read through the ocean this morning.

Also, I showed the fish NORAD today and they loved it! Big went for the games and clown fish went straight to the stats section and has decided that, given all of the information there, there is absolutely no way Santa is not real 😁 Thanks again for sharing that one!

[Phoenix_Rising]

I just wrote something for TTT, knowing that there is a good chance I won't actually talk in tomorrow's session. When I spoke with her on the phone last week, I made the statement that "everyone goes away" and she responded with "I can understand why you would feel like everyone goes away." Thus I have just written this:

I found it super distressing when you told me that you understand it FEELS like everyone goes away. I don't FEEL it, it is an objective fact.Here is a list of the people who super matter to me and who have left my world:

E

S

M

J

D

Everyone else at the church

G

M

Everyone else at another church

D

J

N

K

F

N (therapist take 1)

N (therapist take 7)

A (therapist take 9)

S (therapist take 10)

TW (therapist take 12)

Please don't tell me it FEELS like everyone goes away!!!!!!!!!

How can I ever possibly feel ok about being me, when the objective reality is that no-one can stand being around me irl? How does anyone live with that?

@CheerBear @NikNik @Former-Member @Former-Member

[Zoe7]

Sometimes people just don't listen to what you are saying @Phoenix_Rising - you did not say you FEEL like everyone goes away - you actually stated as a fact that EVERYONE GOES AWAY. Maybe giving that to TTT tomorrow will show her the difference and make her realise that what is said to you is what is meant - there are no hidden meanings - just words of fact.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I super love that the LF liked Norad. The Santa tracker doesn't usually go live until around 9:30pm - 10:30pm on Christmas eve, which is a bit sad for the Australian kids. I'm glad it helped clownfish to know that Santa is real.  Did you see the video that Santa sent to @NikNik on the Christmas thread. Do you think your LF would like such a thing? It's like the 21st century version of the letter from Santa! 

In answer to your question re. the love thing, it was the way you said you wouldn't tell me you would never go away if you were here irl because you can't know that. It made me think about how much I value honesty and authenticity, and it got me wondering how anyone can promise an anonymous online acquaintance that they will love them forever. 

Giggle. The fact that I needed to explain to you the link in my thinking, reminded me of this. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lpY0Kt4bn8

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Zoe7 That's the plan! I REALLY don't understand why people can't "hear" me. It is so so so SO hard!!!!! 

As part of the intake paperwork, I need to list a next of kin. I've simply written that I have no next of kin. Maybe that will help to clarify the fact that everyone really and truly does leave!