@Phoenix_Rising I hear you little turtle and I have grabbed Gen Giraffe and coming out into the ocean with her! I have my flippers on, my inflatable life raft, a rope attached to me and my rock stack (so I can find my way back), several floatie rings and my arm floaties just for a little added protection 
See - I can enter the water when needed 
@Former-Member My super awesome turtle whisperer was able to call and that superly duperly helped. It super helped that she validated all my icky feelings around this. She said it was really disappointing that they were demanding payment just to have a conversation with her and she is going to try and advocate for that not to happen. Knowing it is not just me that sees this as horribly wrong, helps.
I feel SO yuck. I keep trying to tell myself that none of this is a reflection on TTT herself - she is an employee of the practice and thus has no say over this sort of thing. However, it does not bode well for my hopes that this is a trauma informed practice. The receptionist was going on about how it was highly unusual for the psychologist to speak with a previous psychologist. Really? Again, not really a good sign that they are used to dealing with very complex muddles. 
Anyway, the HUGE wave has settled now with the help of my turtle whisperer. I'm going to step away from the computer for a while and keep doing the things that will further help to settle the big feelings.
Super big thank you for riding the wave with me @Former-Member. I'm super glad @Zoe7 made you such a robust bubble.
Do what you need to do little turtle I am so pleased that your turtle whisperer got back to you and shared your concerns @Phoenix_Rising Chat later
I am so so so so superly duperly glad you guys are here @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Former-Member. Today went from being fine to really really really not fine. Now it is superly duperly hard. I still haven't done the thing I need to get done this evening. Yet again a kind-of productive day fell apart and became a just-stay-alive day - and all because of my attempts to find therapist take thirteen. This is SO hard. 
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.