Riding a wave

[TheVorticon]

Thinking of you @Phoenix_Rising

[NikNik]

Okay - I have my surfboard and ready to ride the wave with you.

When I was going through a really tough time, I saw a psychologist. It was the first time. I was sssooo underwhelmed with her - she didn't help at all. I thought it was something to do with me, maybe my expectations were too high, or maybe the way I was feeling was going to be like this forever.

My GP got me back on track though.

She made me think about this psychologist as someone who is employed by me (well.. technically I was paying her anyways!) and her job description was to get me to a better place. She even had me write a criteria to measure her. Well, needless to say, she fell short!

What this helped me to do though, was to take the "person" who did seem like quite a nice lady, out of the equation. My next appointments with other psychologists was almost like a job interview! 

I don't know if framing it like this is helpful - but what I'm getting at is I need to separate the personal from the 'busienss' (aka helping me). It really helped me feel less conflicted about leaving an ineffective MH professional.

Not all therapists are the same, and we're not going to click with all of them. If they aren't fitting your job description, it just means they aren't suitable, not that they are a bad person or not a nice person. They just do things in a way that doesn't fit.

I think it's great that you've had 11 therapists - I know that sounds weird... but I think A LOT of people stay with their therapist because they don't realise they can shop around to get the best fit. OR they live in an area where they don't have many options.

Don't be ashamed or like a failure for moving on - it's takes courage and like all things that take courage, it's hard!

But we will be here through the journey!

[Former-Member]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising

I'm sorry that you are in such a lonely place right now and so scared. I think a lot of people can identify with parts of your story and how alone you feel.  Would it be an option to show A some of what you write here in order to help her 'get' how much you not coping with the style of treatment she is engaging in so that she can somehow pull back a little bit. Am glad that you ahve your GP to turn to at the moment and here of course to write it all out. 

out here with you in the darkness,

lj

[Shaz51]

I am here with you too @Phoenix_Rising 

[Zoe7]

@Phoenix_Rising- on my rock stack - with my own protective barrier tonight but still here 🐢

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Phoenix_Rising

[Phoenix_Rising]

Thank you for being there @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @TheVorticon and @Former-Member.

@Former-Member I have been showing (A) a lot of the posts I've been writing here. I find that easier than talking to her directly about this stuff.

I feel so utterly hopeless, thank you all for sitting with me.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Breathe .......

@Phoenix_Rising ........................ 💚🌷💐💕

[Phoenix_Rising]

I just wrote a super long post talking out all my big feelings and about how @NikNik was a bit off the mark with her comments about my muddle, and the whole thing just vanished. I feel so alone and so afraid. I talked it all out. I was just about to hit send. I had settled myself down...and it all vanished. I want to die so bad. I am trying to very very VERY hard to stay alive and now my whole effort of talking it out has vanished. I don't know how to keep doing this. @NikNik was SO off the mark and I talked it all out and I calmed myself down...and it all vanished. I feel utterly utterly utterly alone.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I'm here @Phoenix_Rising ...... 💐💚💕🐢 ...... just float if swimming has tired you out ....

Hi @Former-Member .... 🌷💕