On the edge

[Molly22]

@Zoe7 Thanks for that.  I just thought that maybe I could take my mind of my woes and help someone else, but I'm barely keeping my own head above water right now.  I think I'm going to have to try and reach out to the SANE support people.  One of the hardest things right now is trying to hide my feelings from my hubby as it doesn't help him any to see how much I am struggling.  

My support co-ordinator is meant to be back from xmas holidays today.  Will be interesting to see if he reaches out.  I'm not all that likely to reach out to him cause to be honest I wouldn't even know what to say.  Being completely new to NDIS I'm sure what I could even ask for that would help at all.

@Former-Member  The only people we even know in town are our next door neighbours, and by 'next door', they are half a km a way.  She is having her own health struggles right now and her hubby works away during the week and is only home on the weekends.  I don't think Daisy could stay at the vets for a month.  I don't think that would be good for her and the vet surgery is about 45 minutes away.  Her normal vet is a mobile vet cause of how rural we live.  I think as long as she is plodding along she should stay here with me.  The problem will be if she goes further downhill. That's my big fear.  I would rather not do an amputation until hubby is back.  I just have to hope she doesn't go septic.   I just love her so much and wish to god she would just heal. 

[Former-Member]

Oh no, @Molly22! This must be a horrible time for you! I hope Daisy will be ok till your husband gets back too. Yeah, it'd be hard to know what to say when you don't know your support coordinator very well? All I can suggest is that you try to reach out to someone. Please don't worry about not supporting other people here, you need to take care of your own needs for now. We all understand. At least here on these forums, anyway... I don't think it'd be good to leave your sheep at the vets for a month either, and it's good you've got a mobile vet. I hope she heals on her own too, it would be disasterous for something to happen while your husband is away.

[Molly22]

@Former-Member  Thanks for understanding.  I hate sounding so negative and always shooting down everything anyone ever says to try and help.  Just feeling really helpless and hopeless right now.  I think I will try and speak with my psych today.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7. Was thinking likewise as well, let's just hope we can all sit with @Molly22 as much as we can.
Unfortunately for me, I have things on this week so I won't be around as much as I'd like. But @Molly22, you realise there will always be someone around who will sit with you on these forums when you need to chat, hey? I'll be thinking of you!

[Shaz51]

Hello and sending morning hugs @Molly22 ❤️

[Molly22]

@Shaz51 Oh that is just gorgeous.  Butterflies have a special place in my heart.  Thank you for being so sweet.  ♥ 

[Zoe7]

Let's just see how Daisy goes Hon and if a decision needs to be made then I am sure your vet as well as us will support you @Molly22 It is so hard knowing what to do and not do for our fur babies - they are part of the family but unfortunately cannot tell when something is not right - I trust you will do what you need if that time comes though as you seem to be really in tune with her. Myself, a small abscess would worry me until I was told any different so maybe sending a picture to your vet and seeing what they think is a good idea for now.

Hey @Former-Member I will be around on and off this week so between us we will be around 👍

[AussieRecharger]

@Molly22 

Just wanted to say I am still here reading your story.  I am hopeful that even in these times of making your heart churn, you have been able to find special moments.  

Did you have a special dinner before hubby left (not Lamb I hope)?  You mentioned your autism and reaching out, can you tell me what's happening there, like can you not find the words or is it exhausting to try to get it out?  

Your farm sounds amazing, I would love to fly my drone over it and get some beautiful pictures of the sunrise ( I am a sunrise person more than sunset, something about the different blue of the morning.)

Good luck in the coming weeks.. If you need to talk, we are here for you.. and if you just need to reach out but not say anything, well I am sure one of your pictures will give us 1000 words. 

[Molly22]

@AussieRecharger  Hi my friend.  So lovely to wake up to such a nice message from you this morning.  Especially today.  In just a few short hours hubby will be gone and I will be left to fend for myself for an entire month, scary prospect.

I had a pretty tough day yesterday.  Filled with all kinds of emotions and wasn't doing at all well.  I think the waiting is really tough and now that today has arrived, I think I'm actually feeling a little better.  It's here.  We can just get on with it.  If you know what I mean.  I will see how well I am holding it together when the shuttle arrives to take him to the airport.  That will probably be a different matter entirely.

Our 'special dinner' was sausage rolls and chips 😂 We don't really go out to eat.  My autism means I'm an extremely fussy eater and with covid in town right now, best to just stay home, and I wasn't much in the mood to cook.  And no.... I no longer eat lamb in any form. 

I just tried to drone our sunrise this morning which was quite pretty but by the time I got the sheep fed and watered and got the drone set up, most of the 'pretty' had already gone.  I did manage to get some nice sunrise video the other day which I would dearly love to share, but I will just get pulled up by the forum police again.  I get it.  I do understand the rules, it's just hard for me to not be open and sharing, and that sometimes means I forget that I am revealing more than I am supposed to.

I think I am going to do a post on autism and mental health which lets face it, you can't have one without the other.  Thanks for being understanding and showing interest in me.  I appreciate that more than words can say.

Here's a sunrise I took a couple of years ago on holiday.  Hope you like it.

[Molly22]

@Zoe7  Thank you for caring about my Daisy.  She seems to be doing OK.  She is always happy and affectionate and hungry.  Just can't put any weight on that leg.  I sent the vet pics and she is going to be back in touch tomorrow.  If we can't get the infection under control she will have to loose the leg and sheep don't do well with anaesthetic.  But I am hoping beyond hope it doesn't come to that.