Not Coping

[Former-Member]

Yes that does make sense @Birdofparadise8 🌺🙂

I can see the Apple, rotate the Apple, watch it change colour from green to pink to red as it changes from Granny Smith to pink lady to Fuji. 
it took me a long time to get to that point, though. 
there was a time when I couldn’t imagine anything on demand 💜🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah I think so @ENKELI 

How are you today?

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh really how did you develop it? 

I think I have aphantasia @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 💜🌺

I’m so very sorry for the years of harassment you’ve experienced at the hands of relentless bullying… 😔❤️‍🩹

you didn’t do one thing at all to deserve it, and there is not one thing about you that would warrant that kind of treatment dearest 💜🌺

I was also bullied endlessly at school (from the day I started till I finished high school), at home, and in sports, because I refused to fight back/say something bad. 
I was incredibly lonely and desperately sad as a young person, and for a while I hated myself because everyone else in my life hated me so vehemently. But in reality, I wasn’t hated - I was just a means of others giving themselves permission to abuse someone who was peaceful. I was just a means to an end for venting of their frustrations. There wasn’t anything wrong with me - in reality, I was the one taking the path of peace, never hurting them back, because I couldn’t bring myself to hurt someone as it’s just not in my nature. 
that left me with a lot of scars, and very little worth. 
it affected my mental health. I was so very isolated as a young person. 
I spent most of my time alone, because I had peace, however it wasn’t internally restful because I was crying inside every single day from the moment I woke till the moment I fell asleep exhausted every night. 
it’s a hard road, but I would kindly like you to know that it can be overcome - I had hope in myself that I would one day be my own person, and have my own value. 
Happy to hear what you think 💜🙂🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

Wow we are much alike @Former-Member 

I had 60 kids in prep to grade six hate me and then it doubled from grade seven to ten to 120 and then year 11 and 12 was at a difference school, but not as bad and smaller number of people being mean. 

I really did think it was my fault. I still do. I try and come up with ways that it was and what I could have done differently so those people weren't hating me. 

I don't get why I had so many people. The teachers never helped me. It was an awful time. I do hope I can move forward from it at some stage. 

I like you have spent most of my time. It really sucks. I would always hate how people would have "friendship groups", and I would never be a part of them. They got the real school experience of meeting friends for life. I hate it when my birthday comes around, and people ask if I'm having a party because if I did, there would be very few people there and way more family. That happened on my 18th. Half my friends didn't even turn up. It was so embarrassing. 

Moving to Melbourne, I thought I would meet many people. When in fact it's been so hard. 

Lol now I'm ranting. I could talk endlessly about this. I hope you don't mind. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I'm good. Done my errands and now I'm watching Gilmore Girls.

The diamond painting doesn't look as good in a photo as I'd hoped so I'll take a photo of the next one I've started. It's definitely more interesting.

How are you today, and what are you up to?

[Birdofparadise8]

Ah, okay, I get it if you're uncomfortable about sharing it. I'm sure the next one will be great. 

Can you post a link to the one you did like, the one you bought, and where from? 

@ENKELI 

I also had an osteopathy appointment. I'm just working on my presentation for Wednesday. I might go to the pool soon as well. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 no not uncomfortable hon, it's just not a very good one. It's of a budgie. I took photos but Sane won't let me upload it because it's too big. I'm trying to reduce the size and if I can upload it I will.

My girlfriend swears by her osteopath, does it help? I've had physio and chiro but I'm wondering if I should try osteo.

Enjoy the pool, is it on campus?

[Birdofparadise8]

You need Photoshop to shrink it on a computer, but you can crop it on your phone @ENKELI 

Oh, I know it's so annoying. I can upload things on my phone, okay, if the size isn't too big, but on my Mac, I always have to go in and change the file type. It's so annoying. If I didn't have Photoshop through uni, I wouldn't be able to upload some photos. 

Yeah, you should. Mine is good. it's for my hips and bum. I'm so tight. You can get five sessions through Medicare, and now, with the safety net being reached, it costs about $20 - 30. I'm doing an hour next time. 

It's across the road. I don't know who runs it, maybe the council, but being a uni student, I get in for free. Yay 🙌

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 

It was a very cheap one, about $5.00 from Temu.

I have a series of Australian birds that I'm doing and should have known this one wouldn't be as good given the price. I thought there was more to it!

I'm doing a mandala at the moment.