Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

I hope I didn't say anything wrong @Snowie 

[lavenderhaze]

I am good @Birdofparadise8 thank you 🙂

How're you today?

And sounds like you finally have a nice GP who is supportive!

[Former-Member]

Good morning @Birdofparadise8 🙂🌺

I hope the Gp and osteo appointments go well today 🙂

There are times when I don’t imagine anything - like a blank tv screen - however to get the ball rolling so to speak, I picture events in my mind: maybe a place I was walking yesterday, or the outside of a large building I see often, or the clothes I have in my wardrobe… once I start being able to picture objects or environments, I then imagine activities (ones like your experiment in the lab from the other day for instance), where I’ve been doing something that took concentration. Then I move on to using my imagination to think about conversations I might have - like, in the instance I need to talk about something with someone - and think about what I might like to say, the words I’ll use, and how I’ll make sure I’m attentive to how the person is responding 🌺

It isn’t always quick; it may take some time to start to use imagination, but I find it works in a practical way for me, when trying to prepare for things - I used to do this a lot for upcoming prac scenarios at uni where we would be in pairs and one is a service recipient and one is the service deliverer/OT, and I would run through the scenario using the above, in my head first (we didn’t know what the service recipient would do, so we had to make sure we had all the things ready to go, if that kind of makes sense?). 
I hope that is helpful? Please feel free to let me know what you think 💜🙂🌺

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh yeah she is nice but she isn't my regular GP the one I've been seeing since moving here to Melbourne is on mat leave @lavenderhaze 

[Snowie]

Sorry @Birdofparadise8 was just doing some washing. 

You haven't said anything wrong.

That was nice of your gp to cover up your weight.

I don't agree at all with using BMI. But I won't go into detail as it is just my opinion. Others probably have better knowledge about it.

[Birdofparadise8]

Okay I'm still confused like if I tell you to imagine an apple would you be able to see it or not? 

I wouldn't be able to @Former-Member 

[Birdofparadise8]

Don't worry I don't agree with it either @Snowie 

There is so much more to health than a number on a scale. 

[Former-Member]

Yes, this is something I have been familiar with most of my life @Birdofparadise8 🙂🌺

I have recently been seeing self worth as an actual concept… I hadn’t before because most of my life I was always ‘secondary’ to someone else’s needs, so I never actually saw myself as having any worth or value, and the people around me didn’t see me as having worth or value beyond being useful for them in a variety of ways (do hard jobs for them they didn’t want to put the effort into doing, fixing things for them so they didn’t have to spend money, reviving many of their problems like they were my own and doing what I could to resolve them so they didn’t have to, etc). 
This meant that if anyone ever said anything of praise or value with reference to me, it was very alien, uncomfortable, made me feel highly anxious, and most of the time I would just literally walk away because I had no idea how to respond (walking away would facilitate me not responding, because I just did not know how to take it). 
I know this doesn’t happen in the same way for everyone, however I was thinking - and please do tell me what you think - that there may be a common thread or theme of not having much experience with praise or reward that might contribute to these feelings? 
I hadn’t ever been given any thanks for what I used to do, and never any recognition for how it helped. 
Would love to know your thoughts 🙂🌺☺️

[Birdofparadise8]

I would say being bullied for thirteen years didn't help. I think I'd prefer if someone was mean than offer validation, as I know how to handle that. @Former-Member 

It happened from prep to year 12. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I think it's because you're used to hearing negative opinions that anything positive doesn't sit well.

Normally, when a woman is given a compliment she will negate it and laugh it off. Instead we need to learn to accept a compliment and just thank the person who gives the compliment. The more you accept the compliment the more comfortable you'll be with hearing good things about yourself. 

Hope this makes sense x