Not Coping

[Birdofparadise8]

That's good to hear @Snowie 

Do your kids know how to cook? 

[Snowie]

They know how to cook so they don't go hungry @Birdofparadise8 My daughter will cook sometimes but it is normally me. I actually enjoy cooking and trying new things.

Do you cook much?

[Birdofparadise8]

That's good. 

I love to cook too. @Snowie 

[Snowie]

Thats good @Birdofparadise8 At least you won't go hungry!

D likes to bake too. She will make cookies and cakes. Normally gobbled up quickly. With two teenagers I feel like I am constantly at the supermarket.

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8 we don’t always think back to specific events. Like I can be like “if I open up to people they will judge me, invalidate my emotions or hurt me in some way” but I may not go back to a specific memory but it is still tied to past experiences. Having that awareness can be freeing, we are very complex being and it’s hard to understand our reactions at times which is why self reflection is really important for healing.

It’s good you are working on identifying your values with your KHL. I think it’ll help you recover. Sounds like a restoration oriented process

[Birdofparadise8]

Baking is so good @Snowie 

Did you see the photo of my carrot cake? 

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh okay I'm not sure I still get it, but at least in working on the values so that's something. 

It's hard even just trying to think about them. When I feel like I'm not what my values are at times. 

These are my values: kindness, compassion, respect, self-respect, courage. 

I have moments when I can feel myself show them. But others I feel lifor others I feel like I'm nothing but a worthless piece of crap. @creative_writer 

[Blackbird11]

I'm sorry to hear about RO @Birdofparadise8 you've got us here on SANE, we care so much about you...

 be gentle through this, it's an abrupt and confusing decision by RO, the length of time is indicative of the  several breaches they said you crossed. You will have lots of support here and there's always our support line. There's lifeline and KHL available too.

[Birdofparadise8]

Thank you @Blackbird11 

I really appreciate your kindness.

I really don't know what I've done. I know the post they blocked but it was just about what happened with my aunt and some other stuff that has happened. They still have not replied to my two emails even though they emailed me at 6 pm. 

I know I have lots of support here, but RO has a different type they have builders who are volunteers kind of like yourself who are around my age. 

I just feel bad a won't be able to say that I'm safe and will be back in 8 weeks. They and other members might worry about where I am if I don't respond to them. 

I'm going to be alone tonight. Mum and Dad are going back to Hobart. I'll have a lot more time to feel my feelings once I say goodbye and five which I'm worried about. 

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8 you are far from worthless. It’s hard not to feel worthless when depressed, but you just have to try to keep reminding yourself of your worth