Not Coping

[creative_writer]

@ENKELI, accidents can also be pretty significant, I’m sorry to hear about the car accident. Migraines can be awful for sure, but I think we only have limited treatment for chronic pain. I hope you are feeling better today 💖

Hi @Birdofparadise8 🙂

[Birdofparadise8]

Hey @Blackbird11 

That's good about class. 

I wasn't hungry before it was during class.

How's your day today? 

I've just seen my psych. 

Hey @creative_writer @ENKELI @Snowie @tyme 

[Blackbird11]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 

How did it go with your psych?

I went to the pathologist to drop off a sample for my COACH program. And I've just got back from meeting with a friend for coffee. Just going for my daily walk now.

[Birdofparadise8]

Hey @Blackbird11 

It went well I guess. I mentioned how I felt he dismissed me last week with the premature stuff. He was pleased I did that. 

We talked about alexithymia, how I've been feeling like I'm letting people down, being a burden, feeling helpless, sad and alone and how I want comfort. 

We talked about the conflict within me and how I sometimes choose to be vulnerable when other times I close off and don't because I'm scared of rejection. Not just with him but with others as well. 

We also talked about how it's hard for me to communicate. It's just how my brain works. We talked about how I find it helpful to talk on here and RO as I’m not talking to people in person it's online so I can take my time to reply. Whereas in person you don't have the time to do that. However, I did say with work I was able to communicate very well. He said yes because there would be a set structure. 

Maybe a few more things we talked about but I'm at Woolworths so I can't think. Sorry @Blackbird11 

[Blackbird11]

You covered a lot @Birdofparadise8 

So good you talked about how you felt after last week. Sounds like you've made progress. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Im not sure @Blackbird11 

I feel really bad now I've left. 

He said I was passive-aggressive when he said something because it made me angry. It was in regards to me bullying myself and how it makes me angry that I do that. 

I also felt bad because I kept saying I don't know. Which I don't like to say, but sometimes it's all I can say especially when it comes to emotions. 

I'm back home now. I do not feel good. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Does anyone know why this comes up as 11 when it's only there's only one person supporting the post? 

@tyme @moderator 

[Birdofparadise8]

@Blackbird11 

I didn't even apologise to him for being passive-aggressive. How rude is that? I can't believe I didn't say sorry. I was just shocked he said it. 

[Blackbird11]

I struggle recognising my emotions too. It's really hard to respond when people ask 'how are you?' Have you seen the wheel of emotions @Birdofparadise8?

 

 

[Birdofparadise8]

It's not when he asks that. 

When we talk about something painful from my past or current circumstances, I can't name my emotions. Anxiety comes above, and I'm unable to feel how I feel until now and how I feel really bad, sad, and angry I didn't say sorry. 
OMG I need to stop thinking or I'm going to spiral. @Blackbird11