Need to vent

[BlueBay]

thank you so much @Jynx  xxx

@Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar @MDT @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie  and others following

the anger has subsided this morning.  I am so lucky that i have a good GP that i can talk to openly and let him know of my fears.

I still would like to know if the private hospital got a different discharge from the ED or the same as my GP got.  Because if they got the same, why didn't the gastroenterologist or the admitting doctor tell me. Did they miss it? How could they? so many questions i would like answered.  I am waiting for a phone call this afternoon from my gastroenterologist. 

trying to stay very rational and positive - but - it's hard.  i worry a lot and stress about things and the future.  i know the future hasn't happened. but it's me. i will try to be 'in the moment' if i can.

i am catching up with a close friend for lunch today.  She has been really supportive and caring, not like some of my friends.  it really makes me realise who my 'friends' are. 

i will update later on about phone call this afternoon.

BB xxx

[MDT]

@BlueBay i hope lunch goes well

And yes I completely agree about knowing your real friends from your "friends who are more like colleagues"

[MDT]

Try to do your best to remain calm

[Maggie]

@BlueBay  I hope lunch goes well. Waiting for the phone call can’t be easy. You are doing your best, that’s all any of us can do.

Take care. 💙💙💙

[MDT]

Afternoon all

[BlueBay]

What the hell is wrong with doctors and specialists. He knew and didn't tell me. Whst did he think that I would never find out. I can't believe he knew. 
he had no words 

he couldn't answer me 

now I'm even more angry 

@MDT @Maggie @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar  and others 

[BlueBay]

I can't think 

I don't want to think 

I don't trust anyone 

who do I trust

I don't know 

I feel I should just get swallowed up awsy 

[Maggie]

@BlueBay  I’m sorry you are feeling so let down. Very understandable.

Do they have a treatment plan in place ?

You don’t have to answer at the moment. I realise it’s bad timing.

Sending 💕💕💕

[MDT]

What happened @BlueBay

Only say if you feel comfortable my friend

[BlueBay]

Hi @MDT @Maggie 

What my GP has said is to have the gastroscopy and colonoscopy first and then he'll refer me to a gyno for the fibroid issue, which will prob be surgery.  I'm just angry because had I known, i could have organised having this taken out while i was in hospital on both occasions.

It now means going into hsopital a second time next year, having surgery and having prob 6 weeks off work and have to be careful with heavy lifting. 

We can't afford me having all this time off.  I really don't know what to do.  I thought I might go and see my GP tomorrow and ask if i can get a referral now, not next year.  I want to start the process now, at least make an appt.

I'm angry because others do - except me!!

I can't wait to hear what the ED dept of the local public hospital have to say.  

I have NO faith in hospital ED doctors anymore.  This is the second time i have made a formal complaint about doctors in ED at this local hospital.  The other time was a few years ago and i was seen by a young doctor who treated me like shit, like a child.  had no idea of mental health or my pain.  

I just don't know anymore.  

Finances are dwindling very very quickly and I am scared we'll have none left soon.

I can't deal with all of these appointments, doctors, psychs, procedures and surgery. It's so overwhelming.

I have lost weight due to eating broth and nothing else for 4 days, which is a positive but prob not a good way to lose it. 

Then the hospital stopped giving me my blood pressure tablets without the doctors knowing.  The nurses decided that because my BP was on the low to good side that they would just stop. Don't they realise that because i was laying in bed for a week, of course it would go down.  My GP was not happy because also my cardiologist had no idea.

Such a mess. Then there's the AD meds which were stopped and new ones started all at once.  No tapering off.  My GP again isn't happy about that because now my mood is everywhere.  no wonder why i was such as mess yesterday and i still don't feel good.  

i emailed my psych to alert him and his reply - contact your GP asap!!!  WTF he is my psych. So i hate him now.

I feel I have been pulled from one end to the other and i am exhausted.  i am so glad i am not going to work until after christmas. but this will now depend on how soon i can see a gyno to have surgery.  i really don't want to wait too long, i want it sorted out asap.

Gosh, i have written a lot, i am sorry. 

@Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Owlunar