Need to vent

[Owlunar]

What can you do right now @BlueBay ?

You are in hospital having tests for an internal problem that has been making you sick for ages and it seems all you can do is breathe. I was in a similar place  - maybe even the same hospital  - a few weeks ago and I just had to last it out and I get it  - you feel helpless  - because you are  - and I am sorry 

That's a crappy thing your employers have done  - apparently they can't sack you when you are sick  but they can reduce you hours  - so sucky that 

Forget about working there  - if you have an operation you will not be able to work for a while anyway 

So take it easy and breathe  - it's all you can to right now  - except vent  - and that's okay

Dec

[Jynx]

Keep breathing @BlueBay, here with you

[BlueBay]

I feel like I can't get a good patch of life right now 

@Owlunar @Jynx 

You're right. Need to breathe 

that's all I can do 

but m upset and stressing about job and money etc etc etc 

it just goes on and on 

Msybe I'm not meant to wirk there 

Msybe im too old or not a good worker 

I thought I was 

[Jynx]

@BlueBay your worth is not measured by your work or your job. It is very stressful, but it is a reflection of the systems we have to navigate, and not of you as a person. I hope you're able to chat to someone, or find a way to get some things off your chest - even if it's just writing out your thoughts.

[Owlunar]

It's been rough all over @BlueBay and this doesn't devalue you as a person  - it has been hard to get a break and yeah - I hear you  - my daughter and I have had three operations each this year and both of us have been in and out of hospital and with the lock-down we couldn't see each other and at times I felt pretty bleak 

It's tough  - I know  - but we can only do the possible and this doesn't devalue us in the least 

Yes - just breathe and perhaps the hospital can get a social worker in so you can take it over  - they can help 

Fretting is easier but doesn't help  - I hear you though 

Dec 

[BlueBay]

hi @Owlunar @Jynx @Maggie @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Emelia8 @Zoe7 @Shaz51  And others 

So today I was very anxious 

another teary day 

hubby took me to hsve the MRI at another private hospital close by

results are -

found a cyst on my pancreas 

dilation of duct in pancreas 

abnormalities between small intestine and pancreas 

no signs if tumour or cancer (which I'm relieved)

with the cyst he said no need to do anything it's common. Unless it grows 

he also feels that my attacks of pain could possibly be pancreatitis 

plan is - 

discharge tomorrow 

my gastroenterologist will consult with his colleague who specialises in gastrocopy of the pancreas

he will call me on either mon or tues

prescribed  strong pain meds

Seeing my GP Monday morning to keep him updated 

supposed to see my cardiologist on Monday so I think I'll go but if he wants to do more tests I'll wait until I sort out this issue first 

reg work - I need to get more hours otherwise centrelink will cut my payment. If I can get 15 hrs a week I will then be ok as I'm over 50. But now that my fruday is taken off me I'm stressing because looking for wirk is tough. And especially this time of the year. 

I'm feeling like it's dejavu as I was in hospital this time last year and then got the call about losing my job. 

[Maggie]

@BlueBay 💙💙💙

[Faith-and-Hope]

🙏💜 💕 @BlueBay 

[grayhorn]

@grayhorn 

Hi Bluebay

I'm glad the tests have found your cyst. Now I hope you can get more specific help from your gastroenterologist.  

I wonder if your dr would be willing to put you on a 3 month medical certificate to satisfy your Centrelink requirements? It's worth asking. Being in pain and on strong pain meds with ongoing medical investigation is certainly a good reason for a 3 month medical exemption. 
but I'm not a doctor. Ask him anyway, after you've caught him up to date with your medical situation. If you have a dual diagnosis like me, that may make it imperative for you to have some time off work to sort things out, and the dr's certificate would allow you time. 
All the very best

[BlueBay]

Hi everyone @grayhorn @Maggie @Owlunar @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @MDT and others following 

I'm home 

in a bit of pain 

I went straight outside to my garden and watered the veggies 

I then decided I'd better wrap all Xmas presents just in case I'm in hospital again soon for other test, so they're  all done 

just need to buy my two boys something and I'm done. I can't believe that this Xmas it wasn't too stressful. I think because I started while in lockdown snd did online shopping. 
I need to buy food but that can wait. 

I've unpacked my bags and put stuff away. 
little A is very excited thst I'm coming home. She'll see me when she comes back from her dads. Can't wait for cuddles.