Need to vent

[BlueBay]

I'm not feeling good at sll 

my blood pressure is currently 180/100

i feel lightheaded 

[BlueBay]

😢😢

[Emelia8]

Try to rest in a cool place for a while @BlueBay and see if it helps to reduce your BP. If it stays that high for long, it would be sensible to see your GP or practice nurse  to get it checked. Feel silly saying this, but .. try not to stress. 🌻😊

Emelia 💞

[BlueBay]

thanks @Emelia8 

I feel terrible 

I'm laying down becayse I feel dizzy 

I know it's hard to not stress 

I just called my GP and he said same as you to rest a bit 

I just don't feel right 

I feel really emotional 

I'll see how I go 

[BlueBay]

I'm venting I'm sorry 

everything is getting to me big time

I'm feeling very angry frustrated overwhelmed at life in general 

I think I need to go away on my own 

I should go to hospital 

I am sorry I feel like a child right now 

 Need to get away 

I need to break things 

smash things 

I'm going somewhere 

don't know where 

[WIP]

I'm so sorry you are feeling such strong emotions atm @BlueBay 

Please let me know if I can do something to help ❣️

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

There is no need to apologize - we know you always feel unhappy with confused emotions whenever you have been away from home for a while - hospital or holidays - and I think I have explained that this is normal for people with BPD - it's called Transitional Ambivalence - my son had this and it was really hard for him to settle down after a change however pleasant it may have been - or not - so I do hear you

The best thing is to take it easy over the weekend and think - to yourself - what is the worst thing that can happen having extra shifts at work and learning the registers? Actually - you lack confidence and the best thing you can do about that is to take on new things. I know you feel shaky and unsure about this but it is what you have wanted and it will be really great for you - but you need to absorb what has happened. 

Change is hard for you but you can deal with it - let it happen - it will be better than you imagine I am sure - 

Sending my best thoughts

Dec

[BlueBay]

You're so right @Owlunar  chsnge for me is so difficult. I don't like chsnge but changes are inevitable. 
I think once I learn register and new things I will settle. There will always be clicky people and politics. 
I need to look up transitional ambivalence. Don't know what it means. 
@WIP @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51 @MDT @Zoe7  and others following 

I ended up in hodpital yesterday at 4pm and was discharged at 2.30am this mirning. 
I was at the beach with hubby and little A. I stsrted to feel very light headed and just didn't feel well. We packed up and I got hubby to drop me off at my doctors. He checked my bp and it was high. I also had pain upper chest.  He decided to call the ambulance and go to hodpital.

once there I was put on monitors, ECG, and blood tests. Came back sll good but had to repeat blood test after 6 hours. 
The doctor said I have gastritis and all heart tests good. They still want me to see my cardiologist and gastroenterologist to check for possible ulcer. 

my blood pressure stayed high for a little bit. Then they gave me strong pain meds and I felt worse. Couldn't walk straight. Had to hold onto things just to go toilet.
I'm exhausted so not doing much today. 
I still feel a bit strange like drowsy. 

[MDT]

You are a battler @BlueBay
And it is one of things I admire in your spirit
Take care my friend

[WIP]

Oh dear @BlueBay sounds like a really challenging, scary day. At least the diagnosis isn't something untreatable.

Try to take it easy today if you can - sounds like your body and mind both need some rest until you have tests from your gastro & cardo ❣️ I hope they can pin point what's going on with you.

Take care,

WIP ❤️❤️