Need to vent

[Emelia8]

Good morning beautiful @BlueBay  😊💕

Ouch ... sounds like a really horrible dream/nightmare.  Very triggering, upsetting and scary.

Its very true that nightmares usually leave us feeling very shaken unsettled and vulnerable.  No doubt a lack of decent sleep will also be contributing to your distress.

Sounds like you have really missed your Dad throughout the long drawnout VIC lockdown period.  I know restrictions on movement has relaxed a couple of weeks ago, and is likely to be further reduced with additional announcements due tomorrow.  I hope that will mean you will soon have the freedom to see family members, that you havent been able to see for many months.

Something else I have heard talk of today, is the likelihood of face masks no longer being mandatory every time you leave your home.  Wow ... that will please a lot of people I imagine.  The few times I have had to wear a facemask (when visiting a nursing home for my volunteer work, and when in the hospital for pre-op meetings and clinics) it has felt so claustrophobic and hot.  So I hope that may relieve quite a few people.  I totally understand the need to wear masks at appropriate times and when in close contact to vulnerable people.  But given there has been no new COVID cases in VIC for 8 consecutive days, surely mandatory masks can be relaxed now in some areas at least.

Do you have any plans for this weekend @BlueBay ?  How is little A going?  Please take good care, and protect yourself as best you can during this time where you are easily triggered.  Thinking of you, and sending love.

Emelia 🤗🌸💖 

[Maggie]

@BlueBay 💙💙💙

[MDT]

Hi @BlueBay
What can you do this morning to switch off? To unwind and try to get past it?

[Shaz51]

hugs my sister @BlueBay 

[grayhorn]

To: SANE Forums <team@saneforums.org>
Subject: Re: Need to vent

You are somebody. You are someone. What happened to you wasn’t your choice or your.responsibility. I know you feel alone in your despair. I’m glad you say how you feel. It makes me feel less alone. You are loved. I believe love is the strongest thing in the universe. When I’m down I get so lonely I find it impossible to remember that I’m a person too just like everyone else. I’m crying for you Blue

[BlueBay]

Thankyou for your support and love @grayhorn @Shaz51 @MDT @Maggie @Emelia8 @Snowie  

ive been sitting around feeling horrible. 
I'm now going to Bunnings to buy some veg seedlings. 

I found a lump in my stomach that's causing pain. I'm not going to wirk in Monday. Just made an appointment online to see my doctor Monday mirning. 
I'm worried. 
@Emelia yes I miss my dad very much. Hoping our premiere extends the restrictions tomorrow. 
I feel horrible. A bit lost and a bit stuck. 
I really don't know. 

[Owlunar]

I'm so sorry your life is so bleak and terrible @BlueBay 

Honestly  - there seems to be no joy in it anywhere  - how miserable you must feel and how conflicted 

Is there anything we can say to help or do you just need to vent?

But I have thought of something  - when you next wish to self-harm or worse  - remember your fear about this bad nightmare  - your life is still important to you and you are important to us - I have  been thinking about you for hours today  - it's really rotten that your past is so empty apart from your abuse and I really wish I could say something helpful 

Except maybe this  - I really think childhood is not what people often believe  - we are little and helpless with no choices  - where's the fun in that?

Thinking of you 

Dec 

[BlueBay]

I'm not my f...g mum

you change your story around and it's my fault 

how dare you say "you're just like your mum"

WTF I AM NOT LIKE MY MUM

I AM NOT MY MUM NEVER 

I can't talk right now 

I'm furious

im about to rip into things 

f...k why me 😢😢😢

[Otter]

Hi @BlueBay ,

I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing some distress today and that it's all sitting so difficultly, these can be some very tricky feelings to manage. I'm just checking in based off your post today, I'm wondering if it would be helpful, would you consider giving Suicide Call Back Service or Lifeline or another crisis line of preference a ring if you were after some instantaneous support or would like to have a chat to someone?

With the upmost care and gratitude,

Otter

[jamesle2015]

@BlueBay can definitely relate to being 'stuck' in retail