Need to vent

[Jynx]

@BlueBay Yeah understand the hesitations, but also recognising that maybe that is what you need? Something you could chat to your team about anyhow. I mean good that you want to protect your family - but you also need protection too xx

Aww bless ya, glad they reached you 💜

[amber22]

Sending lots of hugs and sitting with you @BlueBay ❤️

I am hopping on Topic Tuesday right now, but here to chat afterwards if you were feeling like it 

[BlueBay]

Just gone to Ed.  
had a weird turn - dizzy sweaty and tingling through whole body 

dr just came in and after hearing about everything I’m going thru she said it’s stress reaction. 
she wants me to be admitted to private psych hospital where I’ve been before close to home. 
she is trying to contact psych.  
I feel so exhausted drained 

I’m feeling terrible that I’m burdening my family yet again 

I don’t know what to do 

I have to write an impact statement but I’m very scared I’ll be triggered again 

@amber22 @Jynx @Peregrinefalcon @tyme @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Snow 

[amber22]

Hello @BlueBay 

Thank you for sharing what's been happening for you, I am so sorry that you're having a tough time right now, I am sitting with you while you're feeling like this 💛

Here for a chat if you needed, you're not a burden at all, your family care about you very much

[Shaz51]

sitting with you my sister @BlueBay xxx

[BlueBay]

My dad had a stroke this morning 🥲

still doing tests 🥲🥲

I’m not coping crying all day 

feel sick

I was discharged from hospital this morning 

and then I received the phone call from my sister 

@Shaz51 @amber22 @Jynx @Peregrinefalcon @tyme @Snowie @Emelia8 and others 

sorry my memory is not good atm 

Feeling emotional scared overwhelmed 

[Emelia8]

Oh no, I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's stroke @BlueBay 💔😢  Really hoping he will be okay.  At least while he is in hospital, you will be able to visit him?  Glad you are home now BB, and trust you are feeling better than you were yesterday.  But I feel sure this latest news about your Dad will set you back a bit.  Try to stay strong during this really scary time.  My thoughts are with you.

Emelia 💕🙏

[Snowie]

@BlueBay I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope he recovers. My thoughts are with you hon ❤️ 💕 

[tyme]

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened @BlueBay .

Please look after yourself at this time.

My hugs to you.

[BlueBay]

Thankyou lovely friend @Emelia8 

I emailed my new psychologist last night to let her know.  
she was so supportive and said that if I want yo cry just let it all out. I have so much bottled up emotions that I did cry all day. I was exhausted. 
she said to email her again and keep her updated. 

I'm seeing my dr and psychiatrist on Monday for more support. 
my mind is going to worse case scenario and even playing out funeral in my head. 

im hoping to be able to see my dad today. I will ring hospital and ask. There’s a bit of family drama with my youngest sister taking over everything. I can’t believe my mum didn’t even stay at hospital yesterday. She was home!!! If that was me I would be sitting right there with my husband. 

anyway we’ll see if he’s allowed visitors I will go with hubby later on. I know he’s having more tests today as they found an issue with heart valve. 

I managed to sleep ok.  

I cancelled my own specialist appts today. I just can’t face people atm to talk. I did email my gyno and ask if he could email me with results of ultrasound. Even cancelled my physio as I just don’t want to see or talk to anyone. I’m sure he will let my dr know (he’s in same clinic). 
I don’t care. 

thanks for love and support @Snowie @tyme xxxxx