Need to vent

[Snowie]

@BlueBay I am glad your daughter has found someone deserving of her. 

A rest sounds like a nice idea. Too hot here to go for a walk.

[amber22]

That is lovely that you live so close to the beach @BlueBay That is totally okay not to feel like going for a walk today if you don't want to. It is so important to listen to your body and what you need, sometimes even more than what you 'think' you should do. Try and take it easy while you are feeling this way and focus on doing things that you actually want to do ❤️

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs @amber22 , @BlueBay. @Snowie , @BPDSurvivor , @Former-Member ❤️❤️

[BlueBay]

hello friends @Shaz51 @amber22 @Snowie @BPDSurvivor @Former-Member @FloatingFeather @hanami @tyme @Emelia8 

I had a terrible panic attack today.  I thought i was going crazy, my mind was racing, it was bad.

I managed to lay down for a little bit.  Then when hubby came home we decided to go down the beach.  It was beautiful, calm water and warm.  Went in for a swim and then sat and tried to take in the beautiful beach.    it was so nice that we decided to stay for a few hours, got home after 6pm and then cooked tea.  it was a late dinner but it doesn't matter.

i have decided that i will go for my morning walk tomorrow then meeting my D and little A at our old town for Aust Day rides and festival.  then in afternoon i will go down the beach again and relax and hubby will come down after he finishes work.

my amazing psych called me tonight at 7.30pm (after i emailed her telling her about my panic attack).  She told me that i will be worse now after telling the police my statement.  She encouraged me to do little things for myself that i enjoy, keep up the walking and remind myself that i am brave.  she also suggested i take a small amount of med to help me sleep tonight.

this is the thing - somehow i don't see myself as brave or strong.

[tyme]

When you can't see you are brave or strong, let others tell you @BlueBay , because you are. What you have accomplished in the last few days in incredible.

I hope you enjoy tomorrow. I look forward to hearing how much you love seeing Little A... melts my heart 🙂

[BlueBay]

thanks @tyme 

i find it really hard to accept compliments

but thanks, i know what i did last week was huge, it took a lot of energy and guts to do.

Just when i was about to go out for a walk - it rains!!

i think i might go and read my book a bit

hopefully rain will stop and i will catch up with my daughter and little A at the Aust Day celebrations this morning

hi @Shaz51 @amber22 @Snowie @BPDSurvivor @Emelia8  

[Shaz51]

hugs my sister @BlueBay , sitting with you ❤️

[BlueBay]

feeling very sorry for myself today

i don't understand the reasons

caught up with my daughter and little A

had to line up for more than 30 mins so she could get her face painted

had to lay down pains in stomach

just put lamb roast in oven

now i need a cup of tea

think i might go outside on the deck and get some fresh air

@Shaz51 sending you hugs too xxxxx

@tyme @amber22 @Snowie @BPDSurvivor @FloatingFeather @Eve7 @Emelia8 

[Snowie]

@BlueBay 💌💌

[BPDSurvivor]

Things are progressing and moving forward! I read it can be scary, but it can also mean a sense of closure @BlueBay . Well done!