My Mosaic

[Bow]

Struggling @tyme 

D came in and I have no idea where I was. She was yelling my name. I truly hate it when she sees that. 

so tired of this

[tyme]

Argh.. I just had my niece here because she wants me to download 3 apps on her ipad. Her ipad is soooo securely locked with every password and parental restraint possible... @Bow  I still don't know how she sneaks 9 hours of ipad time over 2 days when she was 'sick'... 

My sister was livid when she found out...

So yeah.. kids for ya.

I gtg, but will catch you tomorrow.

[Snowie]

Hi @Bow 

Leaving some 💕💕💕I hope your day goes ok.

[Bow]

Think I need to call someone but I don’t know who n don’t know what to say

[rav3n]

hey there @Bow just saw your post about wanting to reach out to someone, really admire your courage in reaching out here - is mum or anyone else around support you with this?

if its in regard to your safety, perhaps calling LL, SCBS, BeyondBlue or 000 if you're unsafe? if it's something else, we can look for a service to contact together? if you can provide me a lil more info, i'd be happy to help you out. 

[Bow]

Really trying to avoid 000 @rav3n  I’m not there yet, but I think I need to talk with someone about what is going on in my body. There is a lot of panic yucky energy rushing around. My heart is racing. Had a difficult afternoon with flashbacks and my body has been making me remember a lot of things, it’s not just pictures inside my head. I don’t like it. Very unsettled

[rav3n]

i'm so sorry to hear that the flashbacks have been pretty intense for you @Bow sounds like an uncomfy feeling to deal with on your own - is there something that helps you feel more comfy? perhaps a scent, texture or sound that brings warmth to you? for example sometimes i like to listen to relaxation music/rain sounds on spotify, curl up on the couch and wrap myself in my fav blanket, and maybe even have some peppermint tea cos i like the smell of it to feel a lil more comfy.

i understand not wanting to call 000 yet, do you perhaps feel okay calling BeyondBlue or 1800 RESPECT (Call 1800 737 732, Text 0458 737 732) or even SANE Support Line 1800 187 263?

happy to sit with you while you give them a ring, you deserve a space to chat about what you're experiencing.

[Bow]

Thanks @rav3n  id appreciate the company while I’ll call. It’s scary

[rav3n]

proud of you for reaching out despite how scary and uncomfy all this is @Bow how did the arts & craft group go? what did you work on? also i still think about the alice in wonderland book thing you made (can't remember what its called, it's different to a book nook right?) - are you planning on making more of those?

[Bow]

Managed to speak to someone for a little bit @rav3n  think it helps sometimes just hearing someone else’s voice amongst the noise in my head. And for them to remind me that it will be ok. To be honest I didn’t really manage to verbalise much… couldn’t find the words. 
Arts and craft was ok. I was rather unsettled cause I’d just been to my new pdoc appointment and I’d come out of that rather frustrated. I just worked on my own thing quietly. 
the book sculpture? Yes, I popped into a second hand bookshop and grabbed some old discounted books and I’ve folded one ready to do something else. I’m actually getting some pictures ready to print so I can cut them out tomorrow while I’m at market.