My Mosaic

[Bow]

Thanks @Jynx @rav3n   It’s…. Comforting and reassuring to feel seen and heard by you both.  I feel like such a nuisance and a burden to everyone. And to have my words and experiences make sense is helpful. I always appreciate that I have this safe space to come word vomit and I guess practice what I need to say irl. 

[Jynx]

You're very welcome darlin! @Bow I think this is the perfect spot for word vomit hehe. And practicing too! I'm really glad to be able to be here for you. Knowing how hurtful it is to be misunderstood, it means the world to me to know that understanding is one of the things I can provide 😊

Let us know how the chat with your CM goes tomorrow yeah? And if you wanna practice what you're gonna say, I'm happy to listen!

[Snowie]

Good morning @Bow 

Hoping today is going ok and you could speak openly with your CM.

Sending lots of 💕💕

[Bow]

Hi @Snowie @Jynx @rav3n 

sorry for the confusion, I seen my support worker this morning. I did chat with her about what the facilitator said though, that I have every right to complain about the lack of care and check in when I said I was not ok. And then the lack of support post discharge from hospital. And she does agree. 

I now need to work out what I wish to say and how to word it. I don’t wanna go in all harsh and angry. They are lucky things turned out the way they did and that this is more an opportunity for further training? Improvement? I don’t know? 

I am due to see my psychologist tomorrow which I am most definitely not looking forward to. I don’t wanna explain myself again. 

In nicer news, we booked all our accommodations for our trip at the end of the year. ✈️🌏🇬🇧🇫🇷

[Jynx]

@Bow do feel free to share as you go if you like! More than happy to help brainstorm this with ya.

Could you write up a summary to give to your psych, so you don't waste any of the session on rehashing?

And yo...WHERE YOU GOING? That's so exciting!! 😍

[rav3n]

glad that chat with your support worker went well this morning, feel free to draft up some phrases here if you'd like @Bow i'm sure you won't come off as harsh, i think you've got a pretty good way with written words! 

reframing it to focus on improvements/further training sounds good too - maybe even suggesting what things they could've said/done to make you feel supported and not dismissed?

yayyy to booking the accommodation, the trip sounds so exciting!!! is Europe going to be colder than melbourne winters during Christmas time? 

[Bow]

Thanks @Jynx @rav3n  for the offer to share as I go and to help brainstorm what to say. I will definitely take you up on that…. Once I don’t have a cat purring on my chest!

My psych is not a fan of reading stuff unfortunately @Jynx  it’s one of the issues I have with her. I’ll just have to talk. 

we are off to the UK for Christmas @Jynx  and to return some of my step dads ashes to his home town in the UK. Also going to legoland, then across the sea to Paris, explore there a bit and go to Paris Disneyland. @rav3n  We are hoping for a white Christmas! We ordered these great big puffer jackets and mine arrived today! 

[Snowie]

Glad you got to talk to you SW @Bow I think feedback is very important. 

I'm so glad that you have something to look forward to. It sounds like your holiday is starting to come together. A white christmas sounds amazing.

[Bow]

@rav3n @Jynx  I’ve got this so far. I’ve never written something like this, so I’m after as much feedback as you can provide! 

TW- suicide attempt

Content/trigger warning

I am writing to you to express my disappointment and lack of care that I recently received during a medical experience?? at ……

On Monday the 9th September I made an attempt at ending my life. I fortunately reached out for help and emergency services attended, however I still required an ICU admission.

On the Monday afternoon, I received a phone call from the ….. service at …… however I do not recall the name of the caller. It was a female staff member though. this phone call was regarding a script, however the caller perhaps? could tell by my tone of voice that I was struggling, as she asked if I was ok. I said no. The caller then asked if there was anything that she could do, and I replied ‘I don’t know’. The caller then ended the conversation and hung up the phone.

I want you to understand how difficult it is at times to express how I am feeling and to answer this callers questions and tell her that I was not ok was a big thing for me. Had the caller probed me a little more, asked some more questions, checked in around my safety, my attempted later that day could have been prevented.

The service is well aware of who I am, of my history of previous attempts and were aware of my recent increase in suicide ideation.

I am disappointed that more care and ???? was not provided and that the staff member was dismissive of my answer.

I am not writing to you to see this staff member reprimanded, but perhaps more of an opportunity for further training and changes to the services.

I would also like to address the lack of care and follow up that I have received since discharge. I was discharged from ICU on Wednesday the 11th September. Prior to that I had a very brief 5 minute conversation with some from the psych team who discharged me from their care. I was suppose to be followed up by the comhet team and then back with the …. team. I had a prebooked home visit with my case manager on the Thursday, which went ahead and I have received zero support since. Considering the severity of my attempt, I believe …. Wish…..

[Shaz51]

 sounds like your holiday is starting to come together.

A white christmas sounds amazing @Bow , will be thinking of you xx