Looking for advice

[P12]

Hi @Ru-bee 

I think I agree that it is a form of social anxiety. In my experience it is caused by past experiences and beliefs. I recall situations in both my childhood and adulthood when I have been actively criticised or excluded by peers and superiors as a result of my actions. When I think about them I can understand the reactions of my peers and superiors, but ultimately I think they are unjustified because I feel I was behaving naturally. It is just that my natural behaviours are different to the majority of the population. I think my mind assesses that the negative consequences of these situations outweigh the positive consequences, and that it is therefore naturally safer to avoid similar outcomes in the future. I think the challenge is in questioning whether my beliefs are helpful.

[P12]

I don't feel well psychologically. I am alone in the world and I am sad. I would like to have a friend or someone to spend time with but my recent efforts have apparently not worked. Five of the seven social events I have organised in the past ten weeks have not proceeded because for six of them no-one expressed interest in attending or those who did so then withdrew with too short notice for me to organise other activities. They are advertised to hundreds of people. When I have asked to attend other social activities I have been declined. I don't understand society. Why do people act this way? Today I called a mental health line but I was unable to speak with someone because the queue was too long. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[RiverSeal]

Hey @P12, thank you for sharing your thoughts with the community!

Sounds like you have been going through a tough time for a while and finding it challenging. It's definitely hard to make friends as an adult and I have had my fair share of challenges too. 

The Forums are a great place to meet like-minded people and share your thoughts and feelings. I encourage you to continue to share your experiences with your peers. It's a great place to make meaningful connections with other people.  

I'm curious about what platform you used to create and attend events. I have used Meetup myself and found that was generally ok to attend events. 

Thanks again for sharing with the community!

Take care

RiverSeal 

[P12]

Hi @RiverSeal 

Thank you for providing me some support.

My constructive feedback is:

The problem I encounter with this forum is that it is impossible to physically meet anyone. It requires intellectual effort to imagine the person with whom I am communicating, which often contributes to my psychological distress.

I advertise my events through a combination of a recreation club and a Meetup group. I have attended roughly two hundred Meetup events, of which I estimate I have organised at least half and I am the owner of a group. My experience is that attendance has noticeably reduced in the past 18-24 months. Some people I have spoken with cite the rising cost of owning a group (at least $380 per year). Others cite the type of attendees (roughly 30-50% do not show on the day, and of those who do there is a high proportion of short term residents or attendees of a different generational demographic.)

[tyme]

Hey @P12 ,

Thank you for sharing. You are right in saying it is impossible to meet people from the forums. And maybe that is the point of these forums. I guess the type of service you use depends on what you are looking for. 

For me, these forums were great in that I DIDN'T have to meet anyone physically in order to connect. The fact that these forums are anonymous makes it even better because I don't need people to know who I am in real life. 

And yes, sometimes, the person you imagine people to be can be totally different! And in a way, for me, that's okay because I have no intention of meeting anyone.

I really hope you find the service that works for you and it doesn't add to your psychological distress. I can see you are putting in a lot of effort to connect with people.

All the best.