Looking for advice

[P12]

I think my goal of independence is also obstructed by other people.

If I were fully independent I would be able to walk through nature without interacting with other people. However, the world has other people in it. My belief, right or wrong, is that I experience more negative than positive effects from others because my brain is different to most. When I am not intentionally excluded I am unintentionally excluded.

I am sad that I cannot connect fully with nature because others have obstructed it or damaged it.

My understanding is that a perfect person could walk through the world in a bubble without being affected by others, but no person is perfect.

[P12]

I am looking for the following in a friend.

Someone who:

- I can practice compassion with.

- Wants to spend time with me and I with them.

- I can meet once a month on average.

- Is human, and I can see in person.

- I don't have to pay, or who I have to pay only a small amount.

- Shares my upbringing, interests, and values.

- Can work on long term goals with me. 

Overall the feedback I have guessed is that most people I meet cannot determine what value I will give them and therefore determine that there is no benefit in being my friend.

[P12]

I don't feel well psychologically at the moment. I think I have progressed through three phases of distress. I think I have progressed through three phases of distress. I am safe but I don't feel well.

[Shaz51]

Sitting with you @P12 🥰

@tyme 

[RiverSeal]

Hey @P12, sorry to hear that you are feeling distressed at the moment. 

It's great that you are sharing your thoughts with the Forums, and I encourage you to continue to reach out to the community. Do you have someone close to you or someone that you can talk to? Sometimes it can be beneficial to have a conversation with someone when we feel like this. Or do you need to reach out to a support line like Beyond Blue or Lifeline to get a little extra support? RiverSeal 

[tyme]

Hey @P12 ,

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling so good right now. 

What's happening for you?

We're here if you need someone to sit with you.

[P12]

Here is why I feel unwell.

- I feel I have the first phase of distress, stress, fatigued, burn out. I am trying to achieve my goals but apparently not making progress.

- I feel that I have progressed to the second phase, depression. I realised I have been depressed since June. It took me three months to realise. I can also trace it back to episodes in April, 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, & 2014.

- I feel that I progressed to the third phase, physical distress. I feel like my nervous system is on the edge of a breakdown.

- I am still trying to achieve my goals which I have been working on for the past several years.

- I feel disappointed. My Clinical Psychologist recommends I seek a new practitioner.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @P12 I'm hearing how hard things are feeling right now. It's completely understandable that you're feeling upset while trying to manage this distress and perhaps some frustration at not seeing the progress you would like regarding your goals. 

Do you have any other supports aside from your current clinical psychologist? I hear you're feeling things are heading to a breakdown, and am wondering if it might be possible to seek some additional supports, or slow things down for a bit while you focus on your wellbeing?

We're here with you 

[P12]

I have a Social Coach. Our recent meetings have left me feeling disappointed because the suggestions appear to have not worked.

I also had a second Clinical Psychologist. However, my first psychologist advised me not to see multiple practitioners concurrently. I became confused.

I have attended meetings with Employee Assistance Programme practitioners. The recent ones left me disappointed because the suggestions seemed not to work.

I estimate I have attended roughly seventy meetings with specialised practitioners.

[rav3n]

hey @P12 i can see that you're feeling quite disappointed at the moment. it's really great that you've reached out various types of supports such as the social coach, clinical psych and EAP practitioner!! sometimes the strategies they suggest take some time before you see improvements/changes, and other times, the strategies just don't work for our circumstances - either way, it's okay to feel frustrated and disappointed by this. but just know that this isn't necessarily a bad thing - by finding what doesn't work for you, you get one step closer to finding what does. i know it can be exhausting to be asked to find a new practitioner and feel like not much progress is being made, but i assure you - everything you've learnt so far is definitely progress so pls don't let is stop you from trying again!! i reckon it would be worth making a note of what didn't work for you and why, and letting your next practitioner know so that they can try something new or provide some more insight into why it didn't work out. 

please do discuss this with your GP or next practitioner, let them know how you're feeling and don't forget to take things slowly. sometimes it takes a while for us to see change- for me, it wasn't until a year later that i realised something my old clinician told me was actually good advice.

you deserve to feel supported so don't give up finding the right one, we're here for you too 💗