Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

[Meowmy]

@MDT hey Hamza, if it's any consolation, people like @TAB and I have been in similar situations in our younger years. So @TAB and I are still alive ha. 

[MDT]

Moderately productive day

Wrote some more and cam now polish off my article.

Went to gym just now which is good

Tomorrow i plan on polishing off my article more and maybe looking for a new job or at least ideas.

I felt s bit sad today again. Still unsure about work and taking leave. Still unsure about dating prospects etc.

[Bunniekins]

@MDT  Hey Hams I have been out of touch for a few days so I have no idea what you are sorry for .....  you are a great friend to us all. Be kind to yourself. We love you Hams. peaxxx

[Meowmy]

@MDT good morning, Hamza, have a good day. Take care. 

[MDT]

Hi pea @Bunniekins
Thanks my legumite forumite 🙂

[MDT]

My psych has a cancellation today at 4:30 so that works

[Owlunar]

@MDT 

Hi Hamza - 

How terrible it is to be young and so uncertain - there is something peaceful about getting older - personally I have found I do not have to worry about relationships, or how I impress people or not, I'm retired.

I think it is harder to be young in this day and age - there is more pressure on people to achieve early - whether it's what is helpful or not. Life needs to be enjoyed or it is a negative drag and we can get worn down and this year has been the pits in so many ways for everyone - you too - I have been reading this part of your journey and I am glad the issues of my youth no longer exist

But here you are - what? - 27. I was married and had my first child by then and we were buying our first house. The world was so different. I had yet to go to university - I found staying at home with the baby not what I expected - I wanted intellectual challenges and in time I went to university

Anyway! - I have been thinking that you like writing and you studied Government and Industrial Relations or something similar and I was thinking that there would be a need for a writer - or a person with those skills in those fields. Now you could prepare to ride the crest of the wave into the New Year and a new field of study and/or work. And I get it - it is hard to reach out and grab your chance when you are feeling so drained and unsure

You are the only person who can work on your happiness - and the job you are in is draining our spirit. You said "soul-crushing" - yes - that is something to write off to experience.

Life is a challenge - and I found a challenging life worth it - I am proud of what I have done in life - and I have to say I have never worried much about what other people thought. Of course other people told me I was doing all the wrong things but they could say and think what they liked and really - listening to other people is worth the time but we only choose what suits ourselves -

And I wish you the best with that - as I said - it is terrible to be young and uncertain but only you can ensure your happiness

And you deserve that

Dec

[MDT]

Thanks @Owlunar
You have warmed my heart again. You always speak with compassion and experience.

Yes I have been writing this morning and polishing what I was writing off.

You know you are completely right about the pressure and having everything sorted now - particularly because it so damn competitive out there in the real world now. People can be immensely qualified and yet they still incur heaps of debt.

the workplace I am in is a drain - many young people who think that the world owes them something by virtue of their youth and inherenting problems (which is true, but every generation has had to do that). There are also the older ones who have been there far too long.

I have mentioned in the past about a coworker who i thought was avoiding me. Only to find out this week that we are in agreement on the fact that we are working with people who are very antsy and have either been there too long or are too serious (younger people). Some are not even 20 yet and take themselves too seriously. I am reminded of people who at school would do everything like SRC, debating, music, sport etc. and would always be high achievers. High functioning at that level at that age could well lead to burn out. But at the same time and in today's society perhaps those people are taking things from people who genuinely need them - like entry level roles.

I am 27 and i think she is early 30s. It's interesting you know my friend @Owlunar and you speak with a lot of life experience.

Perhaps the combo of youth and uncertainty drives a lot of young people into despair and mental health crises and also means that some other youths get involved in crime and drugs and hedonism without question. I'm not too sure. Maybe there was something absent in my childhood?

Who knows... I just had a chat with mum and sister about this stuff. It is what it is hey

[MDT]

So I was a naughty hams and forgot to go to my appointment.

I guess at some level that is a good thing because it means I was distracted by something else and my MH wasn't the focus of my attention.

All it means is that I will definitely be going to work next week which I guess I can tolerate as it is a place I know

I feel like a joke atm for not going and maybe going could've helped but then who knows.

I will be taking it easy tonight and maybe watch a film. Coping strategies etc

[MDT]

Above post ^

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