Hey @outlander. Anger is one I feel lots. It feels like it sits under the surface for me and threatens to volcano out. I've probably always had some fire inside, but over the last year there's been many times when I've felt completely full of it and found it a struggle to manage.
I dont often explode with it but it feels like I need to constantly work not to and to contain an implode/explode kind of feeling. When I have lost control of it, I've put myself in situations that aren't great and said things and behaved in ways I later wish I hadn't
To try and manage it I work hard to get to know and understand my triggers as well as the warning signs that things are brewing. Being tired, short fused, 'snappy', stressed, feeling a bit more stretched than usual etc. seem to the types of things that are going on when I have struggled to manage my anger/temper. Those are times I try really hard to take more time out breaks (a cup of coffee in the garden, a longer shower than usual, listening to a song through my headphones...). Being more conscious of my breathing and trying to take long, slow, deep breaths can help too. I also try to walk away from situations where I feel like things are escalating inside me and I might have trouble controlling it. I will up and go in the middle of a conversation if I have to, until I feel a little more calm.
When I can I try to burn it out by using that energy for something constructive. Cleaning, mowing, gardening, walking, riding my bike - they feel good when I'm fiery. If I can't do those things then chill out activities like crochet can be good.
Is there anything you've noticed that helps you, or situations in particular that you struggle to control anger in? Working out those things seems to be a big step in managing.
My husband has the same anger issues. You need to find the root of where your anger is coming from. More often than not from my own experience, it stems from your childhood and upbringing. I am here if you want to talk more
Morning @CheerBear and thank you for your thoughtful response!
I feel that same as you my anger likes to sit under the surface but I dont often explode but when it does come on full force it really is like trying to control an erupting volcano.
You warning signs are very similar to mine- snappy, stressed, tired, short fused, I also ind im more irritated or react even to the lightest things, sometimes it really just build to wanting to scream and take out everything in my path but I dont do that.
Thank you for sharing what helps you, sometimes im not sure what is better- to be outside and active or to find ways to just chill. I find it need to get away from the kids for a while but its hard when they are like a shadow or question everything I do or just always seem to be 'there' sometimes throwing socks at the wall helps but other than that not a lot really has an effect or it takes a long time to get out of that 'mood'
Morning @Nay69 and thank you for commenting as well, I know most of my anger is built up because of all my roles, responsibilities and just being frustrated but theres not a lot I can change. I do hope you husband can find ways to control his anger too, your most welcome to talk about them here an maybe we could help you as well...
Morning @Dec I hope its ok to respond to your post on the other thread on here.. I know you also know quite abit of my life story. I do tend to suppress a lot of my anger and frustration because of everything happening and its just this constant never-ending cycle. My anger doesnt really give any drive, it just makes me really angry and then I go really really low once that mood has passed. One thing that makes me angry sometimes is the kids-it sounds awful and hard to explain but its not actually 'them' its just- hmm having trouble explaining it but I have a feeling you might be getting what im saying.
@outlander I have struggled for over a decade with explosive anger. Just as you described. Building like a volcano and then erupting, but it keeps going and can take hours to calm down without meds. I never know when or who it will strike, but the outcome is always devestation to that relationship.
The green monster under my tongue. I don't know anything other than being vigilant with your meds and trying to reduce stressful people and situations.
If you find something that works please share. I'm certain it's not just a few of us
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