I’m bored.. + some random thoughts

[Jynx]

@Blackcloud yes that's it exactly, the parasocial relationship thing is entirely on point!! 

Haha I may not be into K-pop but BOY do I get obsessed with characters when I'm hyperfocused on a new piece of media. 

I mean it does sound like you have noticed some impacts, but also - you're aware of it!! Having insight into our inner worlds is soooo empowering in my experience! I've also found my daydreams to be a good way to get more of a sense of where I'm at right now. As in, what my characters do and the stories I'm telling can sometimes inform me of stuff I might have been blind to otherwise - like if I'm picturing lots of very chill, wholesome scenes, maybe I am overworked, or if my characters are seeking out some zany antics, it might mean I'm feeling restless and need some adventure - or if my characters are having big emotional moments, it might mean I have some stuff I need to process! So it's pretty neat like that 😊

[Blackcloud]

@Jynx yeah, I’m definitely with you on the very last part you mentioned about if our characters are having big emotional moments then that means we have stuff we need to process, for me in that case would definitely be my mental illness symptoms in terms of the emotions I feel on a regular basis as well as some of the self hatred, fixed-mindset thoughts and intrusive suicidal thoughts.

[Jynx]

Pretty cool option for introspection haha hey @Blackcloud 

Your characters ever go hang out in other author's worlds? Like fighting monsters w Buffy or spinning some magic in Middle Earth?

[Blackcloud]

@Jynx nah I’ve never had any of those thoughts/imaginations with my characters I don’t think..🤔 

by the way I’ve volunteered this morning and it was good. I’m about to have a phone session with a peer worker from SANE within less than 2 more hours lol

by the way, do you journal by any chance? I started journaling since last December while I was in Korea and since then I’ve been doing it quite regularly and I’m pretty proud of myself for doing that 🙂

[Jynx]

@Blackcloud yessss nice one!! Hope it goes well!! 

I do journal, but I do so in a bit of an unusual way!! I struggle to journal because I have dysgraphia, which means that my mind always moves SO MUCH FASTER than I can physically write. Whenever try to write emotionally, particularly if my emotions are running high, I get SO frustrated when I can't keep up. 

But over the last 8 months or so, discovered a whole new way of journalling!! Voice memos! Means I can ramble on as much as I like and it's all there. Feels a little weird at first but I actually think it's been sooooo helpful for me!

[Blackcloud]

@rav3n 

[rav3n]

hiiiii @Blackcloud how's your night going?

[Blackcloud]

@rav3n @I thought you wanted to know what my answers were to the questions you asked me regarding the daydreaming stuff I mentioned to you and Jynx about yesterday, that’s why I tagged you here…

[rav3n]

sometimes i miss notifications so really appreciate that tag! @Blackcloud definitely relate to daydreaming with my celeb crushes too. quite interesting how our daydreams often relate to something we're struggling with our inner-self right?

like even how you mentioned the thing about scenarios involving emotional men/men crying - i wonder if this relates to your emotional needs? or perhaps how you feel about showing emotions? 

sometimes i overanalyse my daydreams, especially if the scenarios have been repetitive. other times i let it be and just have fun with it!

[Blackcloud]

@rav3n @I guess you could say it does actually relate to my emotional needs 😅 also, every other person (no matter if it’s male or female) that I used to daydream about in the past (but not anymore) I used to also daydream about them crying too and it’s been like that ongoing for me for over a decade now haha.

also, I do prefer if men can be more the type to be more understanding and caring towards someone at an emotional level (such as being empathetic) and not the ones that are the complete opposite.

“opposite”

It actually irritates me seeing 98%-99% of men I’ve encountered in real life (including my male family members) that actually do this. And I wish more men can break that typical tough/stoic/emotionless guy stereotype for goodness sake…

Like I can’t stand it if I were to get a boyfriend who would be like that too like OH HELL NO….