I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[outlander]

I dont know what else to do. My anxiety is sky high. I can hardly manage it. I can feel another one of those panic attacks coming on. I dont want to go back to hospital. I really dont.

[outlander]

@Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@outlander
Well, I read a lot of your cries for help. ok
I read most of not all, kind & caring souls that reach out to help & love you best they can, ok?
I have been so unhappy for my own personal reasons, & so unwell as you most probably see in Threads, ok?
I may not be there for you like so many others, ok?
But I am there for you, ok?
I am different from most, ok?
I realise this, & most of us have our special place in this world, ok?
I know I came on strong as a friend first off?
I still am the same friend to you in my heart?
I feel things in my Spirit maybe more than some do, ok?
I felt I hurt you & I know I'm right, yes?
I did not mean to ok?
I realise the shocking heavy load you carry the burdens & pains & the concerns that are far too much for you to carry, for anyone. ok
I am here & I want to help you lighten your load, ok?
Now to do so, you take your meds, that is not for me to interfere with.
I can be a gr8 friend for you, if you choose?
It's up to you, I just could not find you in amongst all the stuff you have on your poor little back, if you know what I mean?
We can draw together I promise I will be there for you to lighten your load best I can?
Why?
Because I love you so much!
(((((((outlander)))))xxxxxxxx
Bella 🙂

[outlander]

@Former-Member can i ask what has brought this on? Im not pushing you away by all means. So please dont take that the wrong way im just curious. Your not lacking in any way shape or form as a friend. You havent done anything wrong at all. We are hoth overly sensitive people and have our own views etc and theres nothing wrong with that.
I know youve been unwell Bella, thats why i dont tag you here i chat to you on the good morning thread and poems and things like that as you have asked.. unless i misinterpreted something if so please do correct me.
I do want to be friends with you Bella. I think your a kind beautiful soul that only wants the best for anyone including yourself as well which is a gift and i hope no one ever changes that.

Hugs Bella xoxo ❤❤❤

[outlander]

And also im sorry if ive upset you. You mightve fot mixed signals because when i upset people then it upsets me so i stay away so i dont hurt anyone else @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Hey @Former-Member hope all is well with you and you are feeling better this afternoon. 

@outlanderare you ok hun?

[outlander]

not really @Former-Member and @Former-Member not cause of you. our convo has just mingled into one which is fine and not your fault but no Nell not really

[Former-Member]

@outlander
I feel deep within my Spirit, I am very Spiritually sensitive outlander. I have been from a tiny child. This is a gift, I now am realising. I thought it was evil for many years, until I found the truth about Spirituality.
Only negative about it, if you can call it a negative?
I do not get too close to many people, because I sense things & feel vibes, both good & bad.
I can tell you some mazing things another time, if you want me to?
But, for now I will stay on track, yes, you & I are very sensitive souls, that is not a negative, its who GOD made us.
To stay away, is a survival technique. Who wants to be a Bull at a gate, have you ever heard of that saying before?
We are the thinkers, analytic, just do not need to over analyse, which is easier said than done?
@Bunniekins is such a sweetheart she is so loving & kind a true GOLDEN hearted darling. She makes me want to sit in her lap & have her brush my waist length hair until I fall asleep in her loving arms.
I know she makes lots want what she is offering.
I have been running to her Spiritually as she is my peace.
I am sorry for leaving you to be helped by everyone, my help I thought was being rejected by you because I have not been like a Sweet Pea to you?
I may not be made to be that way, but I am a protector. I just have a harder shell around me sometimes. It does come down, its not cemented there! 😛
Ok, I've said what I did not expect to be telling you, but its good to be able to do it.
I feel lighter now, I just have this shocker of a headache & pains here & there.
My Doctor has gone on a holiday, gee wiz if I were a Doctor I would jump off the earth, could you imagine a worse profession??
We humans are so complex, anyway when my Doctor comes back 23/11/17 I ma having more acupuncture as it really works well. Maybe you could give it a try?
I'm not going to read this back I'm just going to send it to you now!
Love & Hugs
Bella xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooo 🙂

[Former-Member]

@outlanderdid you want to talk about it?

[Former-Member]

@Former-Memberyou have such a beautiful soul, please never change that 

Love Nell