I can’t cope

[rav3n]

@Captain24 i'm so sorry to here that you've lost your confidence, and i'm really proud of you for doing your best to reach out. that's totally fine if you're more comfy reaching out to certain mods, there's no pressure to chat w me at all - i definitely don't want to make you feel more scared!

just know that i'm just a tag away if you change your mind - and ofc i'd NEVER judge you. 

[Captain24]

Thanks for understanding @rav3n. Im in a world of hurt right now.

My psych telling me she will make time for me if I need her was really overwhelming. It makes me realise that her concern is serious. 

[rav3n]

i hear that, and sounds like you've got a great psych if she's showing both concern and care for you by offering more support @Captain24 how do you feel about booking in another session with her soon? i think i recall reading that you were saving up leave for another time?

[Captain24]

She is really amazing @rav3n. I have never had support like it. 

I’ll see how I go. If I have another near miss. I guess I should maybe the near miss won’t be a near miss next time. Maybe I just should. 

Im going to hospital in August so that’s why I need to save my leave. 

[rav3n]

i'm so glad to hear that!! @Captain24 

ohh yep i see, it's tricky with the leave hey! i think you made a good point about the near miss not being so near if you do go.

also how's your resin stuff going? 

[Captain24]

But what if I don’t want the near miss to be a near miss @rav3n 

When I went on holidays I bought a lot of resin stuff. Stuff to make placemats and matching coasters. A box to resin the top of and seal the rest but I haven’t done anything. 

I don’t have any joy in anything as much as I try. I have to push myself to just get out of bed. I didn’t even feed the dogs breakfast this morning. 

Sorry. This is all negative and I know that I shouldn’t be negative on here. I don’t want to get into trouble for saying too much. 

[Captain24]

I’m really sorry, I know you have no idea, but something you just said is really triggering.  @rav3n 

My psych wants me to start knitting or crocheting to keep my hands busy while I have downtime at work so I don’t disassociate. 

Im really sorry but I really need to step back. 

Thanks for giving me space tonight though

[rav3n]

i'm so sorry!! yes, feel free to step back - really apologise for that @Captain24 i'm going to send in a check-in email real quick too. 

[Captain24]

@tyme ?