I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

Yeah the tree just fell. We have had a lot of gale force winds and heavy rainfall in the last 2 months. We have a few trees and branches falling around town, it’s the damages that’s been cause with the wild weather. 

[tyme]

Oh dear! That's no good. So what are you going to do with the tree? Leave it? Get someone to get rid of it? Is it on their property or does council have to deal with it?

I was thinking about you and your back. How'd you go with your back and work?

Hope you are okay @Captain24 

[Captain24]

We have to get rid of it. It’s in their yard. @tyme 

Work is really hurting my back but I keep going so that’s good. It hurts to walk. I just have tonight and then I’m off until Friday! 

[tyme]

Your back must be battered and bruised now - internally.... @Captain24 Please be careful when you go to work tonight. 

TW: Physical vs emotional pain

Content/trigger warning

I'm not sure if this will make much sense, but in the past, I've preferred the physical pain to the emotional torture. Like the physical pain makes sense to me but the emotional pain doesn't?

[Captain24]

Im sure im doing damage to it but all I have to focus on is 12.5 hrs of work and then it’s done. @tyme 

I get what you’re saying. At least with physical pain there is a reason and it heals unlike emotional pain. I find physical pain worse’s my MH but at the same time it helps limit my SH a little because there is already pain but you just can’t see it. 

[tyme]

Yep... I get that. That's what it was like for me. Physical pain took my mind away from SH because I was already in pain @Captain24 ...

Our brains are weird... And yes, physical pain can certainly worsen one's mental health. For me, having a fever makes me really upset.

Whatever it is, I just hope it works out for you. Do you have hydro pool new you? Or you may need a day at the beach and just stay in the water to heal your back....

[Captain24]

Hey @Jynx 

So today is the 25th and I’m thinking of you. I want to wish you the happiest of birthdays!!! 

I hope you get up to lots of shenanigans ones you can tell me about and ones you can’t! 😜 

I jumped on here to post without either of you on!!! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 

[Captain24]

I’m scared to post on here without my safety net.

I just had a psych appointment and she wants me to go to hospital. I don’t have the leave though. 

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Captain24 

Did you let your psych know about the lack of leave? 

How are you feeling about it all?

[Captain24]

Hey @Ru-bee 

Thank you for responding, please know how scared I am being in here at the moment. I’m shaking while I’m typing. 

I told her about the leave, her response was that I won’t need leave if I unalive myself. 

It was pretty confronting. I am scared of where I’m headed.