I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I’ve just been to church so I feel a little better. A little at peace. @RiverSeal 

But now that I’m back and there is no facilitator to run groups I’m alone in my thoughts. I need to keep busy. I need something to do. It’s not going well

[Captain24]

I’m in pain and I’m struggling. 

[RiverSeal]

Hey @Captain24, I'm sorry to hear that you are in pain and struggling. Have you spoken to the nurse to get you some extra support today? Is your pain from your fall yesterday? RiverSeal 

[Captain24]

Yeah my pain is from my fall @RiverSeal. 

I’ve just stuck the ‘I need time out’ card under my door. That shows I’m not ok so when they see me they will question me. It just means I can try and get some sleep without being checked on. 

I have a pounding headache which I’m not sure if it’s lack of caffeine, lack

of sleep or that I hurt my neck in

my fall.

[RiverSeal]

Yeah, to lack of caffeine in the hospital is hard to deal with @Captain24, maybe you can get one next time you are out. 

Great that you put the card under your door and the nurses will check in on you about it. I never had that system, and it sounds like a great idea! Please tell them you are in physical pain from your fall. 

RiverSeal 

[Snowie]

@Captain24 hoping you feel a little better today hon.

I'm sorry to hear about your fall. No matter how short staffed they are you deserve the help. I know it is hard to ask for it at times but they are there to help you. They are there to support you through all of this.

Sending lots of love and sitting with you hon 💜💜

[Captain24]

The cards are great @RiverSeal. There is a few of them such as ‘I need support’ ‘I need someone to sit with me’ ‘I don’t feel safe’. Plus more. 

They just come in and did a review of my care plan. I have seen progress. I did also tell her that today I don’t want to be alive. She just gave me ‘that look’ and said she would live me having ‘time out’

Ive got to get up for lunch anyway. 

Hopefully we will go for a walk to the beach this afternoon. 

I just don’t like distracting them especially at med time. @Snowie I am getting stronger with reaching out though. There is 2 nurses in today that I really like. One is running the show but the other is floating around. I may talk to her later. 

[Snowie]

I love the idea of those cards @Captain24 especially when we cannot say these things out loud. It's good that you are using them.

I know it is hard to reach out for help. Yes we don't want to distract them and don't want to be 'that' person. I totally understand where you are coming from. I also know that it does take time to get comfortable with asking for help. It also needs to be remembered that this is what they are there for. To help us especially during those difficult times.

I think you are doing an amazing job with asking for help, especially since when you first went in. You should be really proud of yourself hon 💗💗I know we all here are proud of you.

I hope you are able to go to the beach this afternoon. Sounds like a calming place.

[Captain24]

We went for a walk along the beach. @Snowie There is so many hills to climb to get back to here! I’ve done them twice today. Church and then the beach. It’s about 20 minutes to the beach. It’s so pretty.

I feel like walking is doing me some good. I go pretty much everyday. I’m hoping that I can continue it when I get home. 

I’ve put out the I need time out card again so I hope they leave me be. 

The selling in my thumb is going down but my wrist is still really sore. I think they may put me in to see the GP tomorrow plus my Pdoc is in so I will see her. I’m going to tell her about the elevation on Friday and how I am now. I’ve been so honest through this whole process. I am pretty proud of myself. I have seen so many changes. 

This is the place I need to be and what I needed. I’m glad I finally gave in. 

[Captain24]