I am- Overwhelmed & Traumatised I need your support!!

[outlander]

I can relate to alot of what your saying @Former-Member im so glad others can relate too. @Former-Member is so loveley isnt she
Im hoping i can get a response to you properly tomorrow. Just need to get a few thoughts sorted atm ❤

[Former-Member]

@outlander

I just felt go tell outlander, so I did, & I'm glade I did now!
It took a lot for me to make this Thread, & be so open. I feel something positive already happening for me, I hope & pray if you return that you receive what you need from all, to have a freedom & revelation that you need & want to get on top of all this mess & unneeded emotional & physical pain once & for all!
I'm going to go & try & sleep now knowing my burden is lighter, & I may not have a nightmare or choking in my sleep tonight!

I'm hugging you outlander, I hope you can feel me doing it?
I'm going now as I'm teary, not bad teary!! I will come back tomorrow after my GP visit!

((((((outlander)))))

(((((((-Enigma-)))))) @Former-Member

((((((((greenpea))))) @Bunniekins

((((((((((AppleBlossom)))))) @Appleblossom

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX & More!

I love you so much!
Bella 🙂

[outlander]

That is really great to hear @Former-Member im really glad you started this thread and your welcome to tell me anything you like. ❤ btw im not leaving just something annoying me but thats offline stuff. Will sort it out.
Thank you Bella and hugs back to you ❤ sleep well

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member I am not sure if you would have liked the actual music, (avant garde) but the words and the intentions of the composers and the performers was beyond beautiful.

I am in awe of you having gone through spinal surgury. I dont really know how well you are atm,  Your level of mobility and if it was a success.

Sometimes i think with rellies that mistreat us or cut is aff ... let them go.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member - glad your burden has eased a little now and I hope you a better sleep as a result. Good luck with your GP visit today! Thinking of you x 🌹💞

Hello @Appleblossom@outlander@Bunniekins 👋

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

I'm going to be brief but I understand your pain. I went between foster homes and living with my mother but I was always made to feel bad one of my most vivid memories is a foster carer telling me that I was more use as a dog and being chained to the dog house for 2 days probably would have been longer if my case worker hadn't shown up. And even though I get told alot that I should be proud of what I was able to achieve I don't, I still feel weak and useless alot of the time
Its weird I read others stories and think they are so brave to make it through what they did but cant feel that way about my self.
Like with yours I admire your strength and bravery to have made it past that and I hope that you feel beautiful inside and out

[Former-Member]

@-Enigma-Sorry I took so long to respond to your beautiful heart felt message for me. I had to sleep when I returned from the GP . I opened up only a small bit to the GP, by the way whom is a new GP at my GPs Practise. My regular GP, is currently away, he will return in 2 weeks time, &amp; I have an appointment to see him then. I made the decision, out of what I need right now, not to wait any longer. I hoped & prayed by seeing this GP today that I could get some answers to help me take control of my over thinking & not put the extra burden on my worn out body [Pain wise] over active thoughts emotional state .Oh & yes @Former-Member I slept better than ever!!!! I didn't sleep for as long as I would have liked to,...but the sleep that I had was quality sleep, I had no nitemare!!!!! &amp; I did not wake up choking tingling from lack of oxygen. I know it is because of your loving support!!! I thought I had sleep apnoea, yet how can I, as I don't think any amount of talking can heal that condition can it??? Do you think that anxiety in my sleep could be the reason for choking while having a nite mare? <br>Have you ever heard of this happening before, or experienced this yourself please? I will hold back from seeing an "Ears, Nose, & Throat Specialist"' for now, as I have been Overwhelmed from all these health issues that I seem to think I have, & will just concern myself with the one that is the most urgent, atm.
The new GP has made a referral to have my lower back, & left hand x-rayed ASAP. I am satisfied to get this sorted out, as I am in total agony with the continual pain, day nite in both. Pain meds wear off far too soon, & I will no take more than prescribed of the meds, as I know the consequences for doing this. I have thought about not wanting to go through both this physical & mental torture any longer as its like being ripped apart- body & mind, (sorry I hope I have not upset you??) I never talk to anyone like I am now, I just have to be open & tell it as it is for me, so that I am not holding it inside any longer. I want to just pretend all is fine & fly around having fun like a Fairy with not a care In the world, & magic that can make all things wonderful & perfect.
Fantasy, day dreaming & pretend are somethings that I am good at. But at the end of the day, I still have to deal with reality, it doesn't go away by waving a wand over it, I wish it did, but it does not. 😞 Ok today was a appositive step, as I see it, in the right direction. I'm resting on my bed typing to you -Enigma- I need to take my prescribed pain meds as I am not coping atm with the pain in my left hand & lower lumber spine. I am so grateful to you to be able to talk to you if I tell you anything that you feel is too much for you, please let me know, ok? This is my pain & torment, not yours, & I care & love you very much, ok & I am here for you too, ok 🙂
My visit with the new GP went 100/100 now that's pretty positive! GBU -Enigma- you mean the world to me, not exaggerating!! Now I've gone teary again, good teary, not bad!! My fur babies need feeding, so do I, I love you, you live in my heart now, 4ever! ((((((-Enigma-))))))))XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX more!Bella 🙂

[Former-Member]

Hello @Former-Member

It was lovely to log on here and see this message from you. It put a smile on my face to read that you slept better. And that you did not wake with a choking sensation! That is a real positive step forward. You asked if anxiety could cause this - it has with me in the past. With this symptom suddenly stopping when your distress eases would suggest it is anxiety, but it's always best to discuss it thoroughly with your doctor just in case.

It sounds to me like you have been carrying a very heavy load too much on your own for too long and have been bottling it up. I am so glad you have now opened up here now as that is the first towards healing and lessening anxiety - to know that others can relate and care. And to know support is there. To know we are truly not alone. And you are not alone my friend - we are here for each other. That's what it's all about and alleviates much suffering in the world. 

I also understand the strain and distress that chronic pain can cause. It's one of the leading triggers for depression. My husband suffers from such and he can take no pain medication. He sees specialists regularly and they help him - although they can not always relieve his pain totally - but he copes well and loves life. The right medical specialists should be able to help you alleviate your pain soon I am hopeful - it's amazing what they can do now. There is a new treatment being offered nation wide now for chronic back pain (to do with inserting batteries in the spine that send electrical pulses) that is working well for many to control back pain - something to perhaps discuss further with your doctor? There is hope in life my friend of things getting better - hold onto it.

 It's true that adverse situations can hit like a truck (reality bites) and how distressing this can be as I have had my fair share. It's living moment to moment then knowing that by doing our best and by focusing on the good it will pass and work out somehow. It always does. It will for you my friend in time, and until that time we will walk through it with you every step of the way as long as you need me.

I hope you are having a relaxing evening and that you will get another good night's sleep. Remember I am here for you and you can talk to me about anything. Sending you warm thoughts and hugs - sweet dreams @Former-Member 🤗❤️💜❤️💜xx

[Former-Member]

I meant to add above Bella ^^^ that I also had problems with overthinking. The latter feeds anxiety and depression I experienced as what we focus on intensifies that emotion, pain, joy etc. When I focused on my worries and pain "it would grow" and resulted in heightened distress levels.

I am controlling that now by placing my focus off my pain, whether emotional or physical, and onto other good things;  putting my full concentration on what I am doing in the moment and/or losing myself in a good movie, purpose, chatting, reading or my cross stitching etc. Keeping the mind and body as busy as possible helps to stop overthinking through distraction that lessens anxiety and depression. This can also help with physical pain control xxxxx

[outlander]

@Former-Memberyour posts are rather good! i literally havent got anything more to add to what youve said! 

@Former-Memberi think shes described things rather well! 

how are you feeling today? when are your xrays? did he say what your lower back one was for?