Flashbacks and anger

[Eden1919]

I have been having a lot of flashbacks lately and not only have they been making me really upset but also angry. and this anger i feel very deep down inside me and it is so intense i can literally taste it. I feel crushed at the same time and it just really hurts. how do others deal with flashbacks and angry feelings from truama?

also has anyone had the experience of people minimizing their abuse? i feel like anytime i bring this up with people they always talk about it like it wasnt that bad or i am just angry and that it wasnt abuse when it was. people will say stuff like they sorry you FELT hurt by what they did. i didnt just feel hurt i WAS hurt there is a big difference but i feel like no one takes it seriously. 

[Queenie]

Hey @Eden1919 , I have vivid dreams about my abuse rather than waking flashbacks. I remember the dreams though for a while afterwards, terrifying as they are. 

Yes, I’ve had people minimise or downplay my abuse. I’ve even had family members suggesting I forgive the abuser and forget about it, totally invalidating my feelings. This makes me angry and because my family don’t want to know, I turn my anger inward.

[Eden1919]

@Queenie  yes i have dreams as well they are awful and leave you on edge for the rest of the day. sorry about your family. it is hard becasuse it just makes you feel more alone knowing that no one really cares about what happened. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Eden1919 ,

That sounds incredibly difficult having these overwhelming feelings of anger and hurt. That must be so hard coping with flashbacks as well, it sounds like this is a pretty vulnerable time, and I can imagine how much it increases the feelings of hurt when people say things that minimise what you went through.

When I saw your post I thought of the Topic Tuesday event where people discussed distress tolerance and putting together a bit of a toolbox of things that soothed them, but also talked about the challenging task of sometimes sitting with these painful feelings. 

I've linked it above in case any of it is useful for you. 

Take care,

Tortoiseshell 

[Eden1919]

@Former-Member  I have tried toolbox type things before and many others things but none of that seems to help with this particular issue. 

[starflame]

I completely know and understand how you feel @Eden1919 .

I often get told I should be "over it by now" or "it happened years ago why are you still traumatised" or the worst one "you can't have PTSD you were never at war or a police officer"

I have had my trauma resurface a lot these last few weeks due to the fact that angry men trigger my trauma. Pretty big trigger and I am working with my psychologist to deal with it, however now that my sons are grown men they have been triggering my trauma and im going through a mini living nightmare at the moment. I can't engage with my eldest son at all about some of his behaviours becase I do not want to be triggered and then take it all out on him.

you are not alone. its a hard path we have been given to deal with however we have each other.

[Eden1919]

@starflame  that is hard about your sons. it is very frustrating because i agree people seem to think you cant be truamtised unless you went to war or where in a disaster event. 

[starflame]

well I was in multple disaster events, its just they where disaster events for me personally and no one else (thank God).