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[BossBaby]

Thanks, @The-red-centaur , slowly getting better from this cough/sinus bug. No heart palpitations. A couple of triggers at work, making notes now so I can monitor triggers with heart health. I'm just going to watch this music video as it aligns with one of my most personally meaningful affirmations - I had a dream a while ago that someone near me said to my daughter "Your mum said to trust innocence." Attending to basic instructions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk_sAHh9s08

[The-red-centaur]

Im sick of trying. Of getting through. Of the strategies and the stuff you're supposed doing.

[BossBaby]

@The-red-centaur You are looking for a way of ease, "automation", that reliably works without conscious effort or strategy?

If this is so, it reminded me of a quote I read years ago by Chögyam Trungpa - "If you are a spiritual warrior, decency means that you are not cheating anybody at all. You are not even about to cheat anybody. There is a sense of straightforwardness and simplicity. Decency is the absence of strategy. It is of utmost importance to realize that the warrior's approach should be simple-minded sometimes, very simple and straightforward. That makes it very beautiful: you have nothing up your sleeve; therefore a sense of genuineness comes through. That is decency."

I want to consider to what extent the way you are looking for is possible before dismissing it prematurely. To what extent can the mind/body operate / heal / recover / progress?

[Jynx]

It can be exhausting @The-red-centaur. Sucks how much work goes into healing and recovery. It does get easier... but we are also allowed to take breaks - even from the healing work. What would it look like for you to take a break? 

[The-red-centaur]

@Jynx 

I'm trying. There is so much I can't explain or talk about here. 

I'm tired. I took a break today and spent most of the day in bed. I'm listening to tunes and doing some colouring. It's my tiny bit of effort I have left. 

[Jynx]

Fair enough @The-red-centaur it can be difficult to navigate hey. 

Nice one, glad to hear that little pocket of energy is going to something nurturing. I'm about to pop off for the night but feel free to tag me any time if you want someone to chat to, and I'll respond as I'm able. 

Hope you have a very chill rest of your night, friend. Chat soon 💜

[The-red-centaur]

@Jynx hope you have a good evening. 

I just finished the pic. 

I'm getting my carer to make me somehting to eat. Im really not in mood to eat.....but I know I have to. 

...Here is to self care

[The-red-centaur]

I'm sick of everyone just sending you to the next service and not actually helping. I guess it's just too hard and I'm not worth it. 

What is the point of it all. Why do I bother anymor.e 

[edited by moderator]

[tyme]

Hey @The-red-centaur ,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way at the moment. I hear how tired you are of being yo yo'd between services.

Can you think of something you can do to distract yourself at this moment? It's not about fixing the problem, but simply a distraction to keep you safe.

If you do not feel safe, we encourage you to hop online and call 000 as the forums are not a crisis services.

What the forums CAN do is provide you with the emotional support that may help you get through this moment.

Thinking of you.

[BossBaby]

Oh @The-red-centaur did you have to public today? Aren't you supposed to be hibernating?

Take care.