Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

[hiddenite]

J you are the kindest person I know.

I finished the 40 costumes I had to make for the girls and their classmates for their production today.

[Jacques]

Oh my gosh, i didn't know you made 40 of them, WOW!!!!!!!!

You are such a good mother, i can't get over how clever you are, oh my it will be a sight seeing all 40 of those costumes running around a stage , you girls must be so proud of you, i hope your girls gave you an extra hug for the effort!!!!

Karen my angel, you are so worth all the kind words i can give you and more, all you have to deal with and you still are making things and putting others first, getting your girls to their doctors appointment, etc.

Karen i think it is time to focus on the here and now, what are you doing, seeing, smelling now? what have you and the girls got planed for tonight? what are you having for dinner?

chinese for me tonight, i have the smell of damn flowers, thanks to mum buying a plant this afternoon, achew, excuse me. i am writing to you and watching a documentary on rome, tonight i am planing on talking to you and maybe doing some computer work inbetween.

[hiddenite]

You know me too well Jacques. And bless you 🙂

We made sausage rolls and a salad for dinner then we made pancakes. The girls are great in the kitchen.

I'm in my room surrounded by costumes all pretty colors, pink,orange,red,yellow,green and white. 

My teddy is next to me and I have wrapped myself in a soft warm blanket. It is pink with different color flowers on it.

My girls are in bed and I'm going to listen to some music on my headphones and maybe color for awhile. Distract.

I feel so empty......

Have a good night J. Multi tasking eating dinner, t.v,  and on the computer.

Wow you are so clever. Hope the hay fever settles down for you.

Sending you a virtual box of tissues.

Karen

[Jacques]

KAren you may have 2 little budding chefs on your hands by the sounds of it, wow sausage rolls and pancakes, mmmmm sounds awsome.

thank you for the tissues, i will need them!!!!

well i have to tell you a funny story, well not funny for me!!!!

i went to sleep last night, i had a hot water bottle in my sleeping bag (which i was ziped in) and a doona over the top, any way when i woke at 5 am i had nothing, no hot water bottle, no sleeping bag, no doona, just my night shorts, i was shaking like a leaf, my feet where numb, and i was so cold.  i must have had a panic attack through the night and kicked all my blankets off!!!! anyway when their was daylight i looked down from my bed, one blanket was at the foot of my bed, the other at the side of the bed and the hotwater bottle was in the corner.

Wow what a wild night, i just wish i was awake to see it!!!!

enjoy your colouring in and music my angel, try to keep in the present, keep your sensory box close and get some rest, a new week awaits.

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Thanks for the laugh J 

I think I can better that one, another night full of night terrors, panic attacks you know how it is expect last night I was trying to run away. Woke up still trying to run but I was on the floor. 

Hit my head on the bedside table and wrestling with my teddy.

We are a great pair.

Wishing you a better night Jacques.

Karen

[Jacques]

Oh Karen i think we could write a book, that is funny, oh my angel, one day you and i will get a good nights rest, one day!!!!!

i hope teddy was not harmed in any way, might upset the animal rights groups, lol

i am so glad i put a smile on your face, i was not amused this morning, but find it quite funny now.

i have to say i would not have minded it if it was in summer, BUT NOT WINTER!!!!!

Karen if you need a good laugh i have a good clip on youtube, here is the link, i hope you like aussie humor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0kIj_PIpaI

[hiddenite]

Thank Jacques

I'm snuggled up in bed trying progressive muscle relaxation to try and help with the involuntary muscle movements.

I'm not very good at it.

Enjoy your evening J

Goodnight my friend

Karen

[Appleblossom]

You are very creative.@hiddenite 

I did a bit of cooking with my girls and sewing... but 40 costumes is amazing. I hope the other mothers appreciate it.  It is a social service you are doing for them all .. we all have different things to contribute.

It takes courage to take your girls to get help and is a sign of love .. even just the physical driving and the preparedness to let others into that special mother child bond..

It does sounds like you do need to set boundaries with your own mother, but I am hopeless in that area so I cant tell you what to do. Maybe be vague about your plans with her.

[Jacques]

Good Morning my angel,

i hope you managed a bit of sleep (without wrestling teddy, lol), i suppose you are getting the girls ready for school.

well just checking in to see how you are doing this morning, i had a thought how you will be able to set boundries without  any confrontation with your mother, i will speak to you about it when you want to. just let me know when i an appropriate time.

i am going to have a quiet day so i should be online for most of the day. if you would like or need to talk.

well my angel i hope today goes quickly for you.  nice and sunny here and 19 degrees!!!! yay

Jacques

[Jacques]

Hi My Angel,

i slept better last night and managed a walk this morning, it is freezing here, so it must be really cold where you are, i hope i did not upset you last night with my moaning about my problems, like you it is sometimes good to vent.

i hope you managed a walk today even though it is cold, how is the reno plans going, i have to start planning the kitchen soon as we are about to get the whole house rewired, can't do the kitchen until the wiring is fixed, the electrician told us he is supprised the house has not burned down yet, the wiring is from the 1940's and it is in a bad state.

i would love some input when you are up to it.

i hope your day is going well and i hope you manage to find a beautiful spot to spend the day.

remember i am always here for you my angel.

Jacques