im back..... i think

[outlander]

Im happy either side @Anony18 but since most convo here we can stay here 🙂 yes using the broom.now . Good luck packing

@Faith-and-Hope there is something else bothering me but I'm kinda embarrassed but i think i trust i enough

[Faith-and-Hope]

Spill if you want to @outlander .... I am out and about a bit this afternoon so I might not answer straight away .... doesn't mean I don't care .... just busy.

[outlander]

I know @Faith-and-Hope i understand and dont expect answers straight away

[outlander]

So today in such a long time almost the first in 3 years i patted a puppy i thought was really cute. As they do they play with their mouth open. This puppy was about a year old and was a staffy so kinda medium sized at this stage. Anyways i patted it but it didnt bit but my arm went in its mouth a few times and its left red marks where the teeth have scraped me. Its jumped up for a pat too and i felt bad for wanting to get away. The owners couldnt see my fear and it was hars not to just break down in fear . I wouldvt felt even more stupid if i did that. I know people dont know by story and im.not telling every person i meet either so i understand they didnt react but God it really set me off
I feel stupid and embarrassed that a puppy can even set off my anxiety and fears @Faith-and-Hope

[Faith-and-Hope]

Interacting gently and in limited amounts with dogs can help desensitise you to what happened with that othter dog @outlander. This will have raised you anxiety levels in the moment, but they will subside again.

If you can gently oat the occasional placid dog, it will give you positive association with dogs instead of just being left with a negative one.

Be mindful when you are patting one (always ask the owner first) of how soft and warm their fur feels. Sit and watch them sometimes too, if you can .... watching how calm and living they can be with those around them.

I was kicked by a horse when I was about 8 years old. Some teens had ridden their two horses into a gated playground, and as they turned around, I was behind one of the horses and it kicked out, knocking me to the ground. I went running to my mum, shocked and in tears. I didn't know at the time that she had been kicked by a horse in the chest when she was only 4yo and was luck to survive (draught horse!) with damaged lungs that made her very ill throughout her childhood .... so it must have been traumatic for her to find that I had been kicked .....

If I nursed that memory and only that memory, I would have remained fearful of horses, I am sure.... but I worked to overcome that fear, and eventually even took some riding lessons. My mum was an amazing woman and she encouraged me. It was years later that I found out how badly she had suffered from the horse kick she was so badly injured by.

See how you go @ourlander .... work within your own comfort level .... you don't have to work to overcome this fear, but it will give you greater freedom from it if you choose to do so.

💙

[outlander]

It was a family member puppy who even has kids and it ran up to me first so i felt obligated to either pat it or scream. I couldnt get a scream out.

Ive been kinda desensiting abit but unintentionally in a way. I couldnnt look a pictures of dogs 3 yrs ago and i drew a wolf and 2 dogs the other week which required me looking at pics
@Faith-and-Hope

I do want to get better though i just thought i couldve reacted better today. It was a puppy for gods sake.

OMG ive just had a breakthrough as to why i did that. WHOLY SHITE

[Anony18]

Happy to continue here @outlander

You are right to trust @Faith-and-Hope. She is so lovely isnt she? I hope what she is saying is helping you

[outlander]

I think ive worked something out @Anony18 but i think it sounds stupid but it kinda makes sense

@Former-Member @NikNik can i get your opinion on this too plz

[outlander]

@Faith-and-Hope@Anony18@NikNik@Former-Member@CherryBomb

im going to attempt to get my thoughts out tht i think ive had my breakthrough with though im not sure how its going to work out... please tell me if any of it doesnt make sense

i think it sounds very stupid and i dont even know if its a breakthrough or a possibliltiy but ill see what you guys think......

so with my sisters attack ive always blamed myself and always thought i could do more. ive always always regretted not putting my arm further up to protect her ace from gettin bitten and she was standing in front of me with my arms resting arund her pretty much on her waist as she was walking on my toes and thats one of my protective stances. what good that did hey

but anyway back to the point ive always had this thought that if i had of protected her with my arm  it wouldve bit me instead of her... when i think of a dog or see a dog and again when that dog came up to my my imediate thought and reactions are to put my arm out. maybe thats my minds way of 'protecting'

hopefully that makes sense, if anyne can add to this to help me make abit more sense of it that would be good. i dont even know if that sounds normal or if its even possible but theres my thoughts..

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sounds pretty normal to me @outlander. Raising your arm is a protective behaviour.