Punny Puns UNITE! ‘Dad’ jokes are welcomed (along with any other parental guardians)

[DaeSayuki]

So I’m a lover of a good pun, ‘dad joke’, and the drier or more painful the joke the better.

*** Im sure there’s policies around references to discrimination so please refrain, as I hope to spread the love of a good pun.

To start…

1.

I went to buy coffee beans and asked them to grind it.
They asked “How fine a grind?”
I said “Fine”
They asked “Are you sure?”
I said “Yeah that’s … fine”
I made the cashier cry that day 😆

2.

Did you know mango has the highest sugar content out of all fruits?

It can really make a … man go.

3.

I went to pick up my niece from school. She apologise for being a bit late because she’s waiting for her friend.

I asked her “is your friend a bat?… because she’s hanging around.”

3.

My cousin went to get her arm pit hairs lasered off.

I asked her “how’s your pits? Are they … pitiful?”

4.

I bought eggs at the local market. The seller help me choose out of 10 + varieties and said “I hope you enjoy them”.

I said back “you would know since you’re the EGG-spert”

~ I hope the cringe was painful. Please bless me with more puns ~

[The-red-centaur]

When do those jokes become dad jokes???

When they become a-parent 

[rav3n]

i used to have a dad joke book hehe.

What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time no sea.

My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.

[DaeSayuki]

Puhahahahaha im gonna tell my parents hahahaha

[DaeSayuki]

KEKEKEKE I wish my manager would tell me this all the time hahahahah

[The-red-centaur]

So many puns. 

I just wanted to thank you for explaining 'many' to me, it means a lot.