and other members visiting this thread
{Please do not be put off by the length of this post which has a count of ~820 words}
Welcome to the forum @wongli and I do hope that you will find discussion and suggestions that will assist you in improving your situation.
You may already be aware that the presenting aspects, that you describe, are often considered as symptoms associated with depression.
We often go to a psychologist in the hope that they have a 'magic formula' for fixing us up. Apparently, it does not work that way. The psychologist or counsellor attempts, in conjunction with us as the client, to tease out the issues that are underlying our reactions, symptoms, thoughts, beliefs and concerns. The psychologist/counsellor can only be as effective as the client allows or permits them to be. They can only work with as much, or as little information and material, as is provided by us as clients.
Unfortunately, it is often the client's own barriers to disclosure and their own capacity, or otherwise, to provide the material required with which to work, that limits the capacity of the psychologist/counsellor. If we ask a gardener to prepare a garden on rocky ground, yet are unprepared or unwilling to see the need for providing soil, do we blame the gardener and say that they have failed?
My own recent experience with a counsellor has been very positive, as some others, previously, have also been. However, I have had some less than favourable experiences also. The lady, with whom I am now speaking, operates from a social work perspective and training, with some elements of psychology taken during training. She also has considerable experience in other service provision roles. I admit that I have been fortunate, from my first contact with her, that we have established a good rapport and working relationship. The lady, who is some years younger than I, holds differing views on some subjects, however, we acknowledge each others right to hold our respective views and beliefs, while still respecting the person. I am older and a male at 70+ years of age. Yes there have been challenges in our relationship, but those have lead to a better understanding of each other, and therefore, our respective contributions. And, I believe, that even in a formal counselling environment, it is important that a mutual understanding of perspectives and values be established and maintained. My thoughts are that the development of such a relationship applies particularly to longer term relationships and interactions. At this stage, I have had about 18 appointments. Again, for various reasons, I have been fortunate. But we have both had to work toward the main objective, in which I can see, during that time, "quite a few hurdles crossed and goals having been kicked".
Certainly, if a good working relationship between the psychologist/counsellor cannot be established and maintained, it would be best to attempt to find someone with whom such a relationship can be established.
With regard to medication, I was diagnosed as having clinical depression more than 20 years ago. The first medication that I was prescribed actually did make me feel worse and that had to be discontinued. The next type of medication was from another group or category and, to my way of thinking, has been successful. That second medication has assisted me through some pretty torrid times and also allowed me to maintain stability when I most needed and desired it. That time was when my mother stayed with me for nearly 10 years. A time that I refer to with special feeling as a time of pleasure for us both and a privilege for me. Mum passed away about 2 1/2 years ago.
Those were hurdles crossed. The goals kicked include a recent successful and significant reduction in the medication that I have been taking for depression, as well as large reductions in pain relief medications. Because of the severity of the depression that I experienced, it had been suggested that I may require to take the anti-depressant medication for the rest of my life. It seems, now, that I may not have to, which is one of the goals toward which I reach.
There may have been a range of factors that have lead to the progress that I have made. One of those factors, I believe, has been the successful interaction between the counsellor and me in our effort to address my concerns and assist me in achieving my goals. Another factor, I likewise believe, has been the successful matching of an appropriate medication for the particular issues and depression that I faced more than 20 years ago.
While all this sounds like a lot of my story, it is the only way that I can provide information that I hope may be helpful for you and possibly others, in a non-directive manner and style.
I would most certainly be pleased to discuss, with you, any development of details or ideas that you may have, while respecting the
Guidelines & Info {this link will take you directly to that information}"
With My Best Wishes
@HenryX
