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Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hello dear @HenryX 

I think I understand your message. 

I think of the forum threads as "fluid" in that they have the potential to flow in whatever way members choose to post. I think you can continue a conversation amongst other conversations much like a "dinner party" atmosphere. Does that make sense?

I don't think you can enforce that the topic of conversation stays "on track" cause life especially a mental health Forum isn't like that. I think it's just a case of scrolling through to the path that the conversation you're involved in is relevant again. Who knows along the way you might stop for a pat on the shoulder and a brief "hiya" to another member.

I know it's lots to look at but no harm Henry. 

P.S  I owe you a decent response to your last message addressed to me, sorry it's late but I just haven't had the puff.

It will happen I promise 😊

Hope everyone is enjoying their night 👋❣️

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Love your thoroughness @HenryX 

 

Many people have said that nobody owns a thread, and a little give and take is often a good idea, but I like the idea of referring to an opening post or topic as some guideline of what is going on.  People can easily start their own thread or join in with others, whether it be a smaller circle of friends or a very broadly inclusive kind of thread. 

 

The "rules" are not in concrete, but I sometimes try and steer things to be more open and general like on the "Good Morning" thread, because for us who have been on the forum, it can be easier to slip into friendly banter with no intent to exclude.  However being a person on the margins a lot while growing up, I am sensitive to those who may be in the wings or struggle to join in when everyone seems on good footing.  For a few years I made a careful effort to welcome new posters and tag them at least once to a social chit chat.

 

I also have a nerdy and deep and detailed side, and I enjoy meaningful discussion. Too much light stuff leaves me empty and unengaged, unless there was been significant connection. Go You.  This is an organic communication form and structure can be great.

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hi @HenryX I am glad you are asking about this thread. It seems to me there are 4 ways to join in to a chat or thread like Harry’s Landing Strip & Hanger. Either by using your sign in member name with @ in front, or tick your email response box under the message you have just created to be alerted to replies, or just check in to the thread at random & join in, plus also checking your new message alert in your account for groups or chats you are subscribed to or have sent a message to. With my mental health illness I can become overwhelmed when I receive a lot of email replies for example from a thread, where I have not been involved in that part of the conversation which has happened to me recently and it’s hard for me to catch up or join in, as I get confused and sometimes the chat happening between people who are very familiar with each other which is ok to, but maybe not for all members? I have always found the Sane Forums here to be a bit confusing and when your new & unwell it’s hard to find where to belong and chat. It’s up to members to create a thread like yourself HenryX, who then manages and keeps the conversation going. You have been very inclusive and interesting with your subjects to discuss, I think it’s a problem with the forums layout themselves and maybe that’s because of the need to have our messages moderated & needing a delay? I think for me I would be grateful HenryX if you would not tag me in your posts each time and I will check in to your thread when I feel well and able to & join in, that way I can take my time & read your past posts & reply that way, so I don’t get overwhelmed. I hope I have understood your post correctly and my answer is ok? I also hope you understand my request is from where I am at, in my mental health recovery, where my brain is still slow to process and easily overwhelms and then slow to answer which I apologise for. I do appreciate all your work with this thread and gathering us together. Thank you so much. @1stepup

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Hello @HenryX 

Imm still pondering your message...

I want to validate your message better as I respect you and I enjoy this thread...what about in the heading you add something like

*meaningful conversation appreciated*

Just a thought?

 

 

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Sorry @HenryX I think I did a bit of "off loading " on here the other day. I will be more careful in the future. 😊

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

While the following post is long, it offers an outline of my thoughts and refers to comments and suggestions offered by other members. The post can therefore, be read in sections. Please do not let the word count deter you from having a look.

Some of what I say could be taken personally by other members, however, everything contributes to where we are and the options that we have. I would be very disappointed if anyone felt offended by what I offer.

{~3030 words, in 2 Parts}

 

Thank You to everyone for your replies, comments and discussion regarding the progress and development of the thread;

@Appleblossom, @greenpea , @Peri , @Former-Member , @Anastasia ,

1stepup61 (acknowledged but not tagged by request)

''''''''''''''

Thank You also to the members who have acknowledged the comments and posts of others with "Support"s;

@Emelia8, @Anastasia , @Clawde , @Appleblossom@greenpea , @Peri , @Former-Member , @Snowie , @MDT , @Faith-and-Hope , @Alicat 

@Emelia8, @Anastasia , @Clawde , @Appleblossom , @greenpea , @Peri , @Former-Member , @Snowie , @MDT , @Faith-and-Hope , @Alicat 

 

In my post of *30 Nov 21 at 06.45 PM which was my last post before the one where I raised the question, as I see it, regarding the

“identity of this thread”

*Grumman Albatross Post {(on my screen) The post referred to postponement of the “Hangar” party and had a photograph of a Grumman Albatross “flying boat”}

I stated:

“Though aircraft and flying are obviously of interest to me, I would like to see other ideas presented on this thread. In that way, it may be seen as more widely, {interest and gender} inclusive. A place where we can talk about our own situations, concerns and issues that we face, but also a place that we can have some fun, while showing respect, courtesy and nurturing care toward each other. It is certainly in my thoughts and feelings, that the thread has functioned that way, for the greater proportion of its existence so far.”

 

To another member, I said

“I certainly hope that you do have an interest in air-craft, if not, I apologise for being quite so expansive.”

Our initial discussion arose out of the question as to whether my avatar was of an Albatros, referring to a German biplane of about 1917. Hence, my question about interest in air-craft, was:

"to query, or confirm her interest, or otherwise, questioning whether I had assumed too much as a result of that and another brief conversation??

 

What, I hope is apparent, is that rather than stifle conversation, I am keen to see discussion on the thread become more robust and broad based, in terms of topics and therefore more interesting and more gender inclusive. I also wish to protect a particular style, on the thread, that so far has seemed to have had appeal for quite a number of members.

 

However, what I would prefer not to see, is for the thread to become like so many other threads already existing on this forum site, which also cater for people with a variety of interests and forms of expression. A quick look back through the last 2 or 3 pages of this thread, I think, will show what I mean. I have already offered examples, which I do not wish to repeat again. Neither do I wish to point toward specific posts in order to demonstrate my meaning. Consequently, I am keen to see that not all the threads on the site be so fluid as to lose their identity, which I believe is likely, as a result of certain types of "fluidity", an issue that I believe is worth exploring. What I discuss in this treatise may also apply to other threads on this website and those on other sites too.

 

I think it is a question of identity. Some people will feel more comfortable in one thread, some in another. But if the style in one thread continues to dribble into another, it will not be long before the dribble becomes a flood and then the threads both become the same. One subsumed by the other. It is then likely that the members of one of the threads will have been alienated or isolated, and possibly leave the thread, and, by extension, possibly the forum. That is, unless they are just to be expected to fold into the new thread and new regime, that in effect has been changed from the purposes that those members had previously desired, envisioned and presumably enjoyed. So, to my way of thinking it is important that the threads are not all so fluid as to become the same; blended together in the same "tank" - read "forum". Surely, each thread meets certain desired style, format, function, presentation and structure parameters that any other may not. In this way, what I am really proposing is diversification, rather than the opposite, being condensation to a common denominator, which I believe will happen if everyone just goes with the flow.

{"Fluidly" and "Organically"}

 

My understanding is, in most forum sites, that it is the moderator's function and resposibility to see that conversations in threads and the responses and posts, conform to the initial purpose and intention of the thread. This ensures continuity for people participating as members of that thread. It is the style, format, function, presentation and structure that supports the content within the thread that is important in maintaining continuity. I know of at least one thread, on this forum, where members have desired that the implied or explicit requirements of the title of the thread should or must be adhered to.

..........       "       ..........

"

The following comments are replies, by me, to each member's comments and observations, which have been offered following my "Grumman Albatross post of the 30 Nov 21."

..........       "       ..........

"

@Former-Member 

I noticed that you have had difficulties losing material that you had wished to post. It is a difficulty that many of us have had, including me. I have been very close to doing so while putting this piece together. If I had not had a couple of copies, I would have lost much of what I am presenting here in this post. May I catch up with you so that we can discuss how to avoid such losses?

I am sorry to hear that your daughter and you had a scare regarding her health. I hope that you and she are both ok. While you mentioned D's friend qualified as a paramedic, and your D graduated with high distinction, I'm not sure in which discipline it was that your daughter qualified; if you can do so, while retaining anonymity, would you mind letting us know please? In any case,

Congratulations to both your daughter and her friend.

 

@Former-Member , From your comment to @Appleblossom ,  I'm aware that there appear to be a few issues and stressors at the moment. You mention having trouble keeping up. There is no problem from my point of view or, I'm sure, that of others. If you like, we can look at where you are at and help out in any way that we can through our forum connections.

But, there is definitely no pressure. It is really important to use the forum for relaxing activity, as well as personal awareness and the mutual and reciprocal, nurturing support of each other. I think that it may, as I would hope, be a maxim of the thread and possibly in the forum, that;

"No offence taken, no forgiveness required; particularly with regard to replies."

We do what we can do, when we can, and only as much as we can do.

I enjoy your company, here on the forum, @Former-Member . I am very pleased that you are here

..........       "       ..........

"

I think that you have acurately understood my thoughts about "chit chat" on this thread.

Personally, I find the "chit chat" type messages tiresome, unimaginative and uninspiring for the most part, as may others (who might be afraid to say so}. That type of interchange is, I believe, a product of the "social media environment" in which, particularly younger people immerse themselves, but older people also. Many people have, unfortunately, become accustomed to it as a form of communication in their day-to-day lives. No wonder many people complain about being lonely.

On the other hand, I understand that others may probably find my style tedious and tiresome, - and there-in lies the difference.

Why should any of us be obliged to put up with the style, format, function, presentation and structure that may appeal to others, if it does not appeal to us, and 'vice versa'. That's part of the reason that I do not talk about planes etc., in other threads, unless it may be used to demonstrate a particular point, for which such analogy serves the purpose. There are plenty of avenues for "chatter", both in other threads on this forum, and other media sites such as Facebook, twitter etc. Unfortunately I consider that that type of banter and chatter is now dribbling, even flooding, not only into various threads, but this site as a whole. Hence my defensive position.

..........       "       ..........

"

@Appleblossom 

Thank you so much for your post and greetings for singing - I was up at Aged Care this morning {2 Dec '21}, for the singing group with residents.

I was delighted with your reference to the Albatross in various music scores and definitely not "too left field". This graphic caught my eye:

 

The albatross visits the Mariner and his crew in Samuel Taylor Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, illustrated in 1876 by Gustave Doré.

 

{with the albatross perched right-centre under the large icicles hanging from the rigging.}

The article on PTSD, prescribed medications for veterans and their effects, is something I will come back to. At the present time I am sorting through some of my past and present issues and hope, later, to be able to consider whether there are any similar civilian issues in parallel with studies and reports relating to military service and PTSD. I have one friend who has served in Afghanistan. We have not yet broached the issues of residual effects, though I am aware that he suffers PTSD in consequence of his service.

 

I really liked your observation and support for @Former-Member , and her daughter.

..........       "       ..........

"

To be continued in the next post: Part 2.  @Appleblossom > @greenpea 

 

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Part 2. Continued from Part 1. @Appleblossom > @greenpea 

 

@greenpea 

Really pleased that you like the idea of being included in discussions in the "Hangar". I do hope that what is distilled out of this discussion will be appealing to various members on the forum, Including you, @greenpea . In that respect, some members may feel comfortable in this space, others may not. That makes neither position right nor wrong - just different. Hope that you will enjoy being part of the "Hangar Crew"  

..........       "       ..........

"

@Peri 

Thank you very much for your response to the discussion and your note regarding inclusion in the thread. I am so pleased that you could identify with a number of the issues that have been raised. Even in your short message, you seem to have connected closely with my thoughts. I do not wish any member to feel pressure as a result of activity, or expectation, on any thread in the forum. I would like that to be especially true for this thread. On the other hand, If at any time, you would like to offer any comments or suggestions, I believe that they will be well received by other members and certainly by me.

When people join the forum, I do try to indicate that there are different types of threads on the forum, some more social, and others that may be considered more detailed with regard to particular issues that people face and may wish to discuss. I would like this thread to be pleasant, as well as an environment where people can discuss issues in a somewhat more serious manner than might be available or appropriate on the more "social" threads. It is my belief that each has its own purpose and application. There are many, more prominently social threads on the forum and I would like this one to be differentiated from some of the others for the reasons I have stated in this and other posts. I, personally, {tautology intended} do not enjoy wading through lots of, what I would call, inanities. To me they are boring and clutter, and I fervently hope that I am not the only member to think that way. If I am the only such person, then I would have to consider whether I am in the right place.

I really hope @Peri , that you will continue to enjoy the activity on the forum and this thread in particular  .

..........       "       ..........

"

@Anastasia

Thank you so much for your response to this discussion and your activity in the thread, as well as our connections that we have established and maintained, through the forum, since I rejoined earlier this year. We have discussed briefly, your situation and I appreciate and value highly, your contributions here and elsewhere in the forum, particularly given difficult circumstances.

I understand the need for being fluid and organic. But, as I have stated elsewhere, if there is no differentiation or attempt to maintain it when it has been established, then the thread just becomes like many or any others, without any differentiation, variety, cohesiveness, identity and attached or associated membership definition. We would then allow this, or any other thread to approach the same presentation and become the same as others, that already exist. And which may even be said to be proliferating.

I believe that is the reason, in part, for many abandoned threads and also loss of members from threads and also from the site. If only one style, format, function, presentation and structure is developed and maintained, then, by pressure or default, that is what we end up with, then we lose members.

..........       "       ..........

"

The dinner party analogy is, I think, very appropriate. Let's consider the forum as the "dinner party" and each of the threads may be considered as "conversations" at the "party". It may be considered old fashioned to conduct conversation in the way that I am about to describe. However, there are still many older people among us who feel comfortable with such structure. I also think, that even younger people may find it appealing, not simply for its quaintness, but also for its sense of order and structure, which to a large degree, seems to be absent from much contemporary social intercourse. And those for whom it holds no appeal may prefer not to be members of this thread - and no judgement proffered, or offence taken.

It would, at a "dinner party", be considered discourteous to interject oneself into an established "conversation", at that "dinner party" without introduction, and an invitation, explicit or implied, to join that "conversation" or thread. It would also be considered very impolite to inject a style, manner, topic etc., that was not consistent with and corresponding to, that already established, topic, vibe, direction and style, format, function, presentation and structure of the established "conversation" or thread. The word for such behaviour is "boorish".

The Merriam-Webster definition, copied from the website, located at:

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=borish

is:

"boorish, churlish, loutish, clownish mean uncouth in manners or appearance. boorish implies rudeness of manner due to insensitiveness to others' feelings and unwillingness to be agreeable. a drunk's boorish behavior, churlish suggests surliness, unresponsiveness, and ungraciousness."

Unfortunately, our association with so-called "social media" seems to have broken down the courtesies, that would have been expected, in what might be referred to as "polite behaviour" in "conversation"/"threads". Certain behaviour, now seems to exist, where people feel that they have the community's sanction, or some other given right, for whatever behaviour they wish to display in any conversations, or situations, into which they may wish or choose to insert themselves. This sort of behaviour is exhibited under the guise of, what now seems to be referred to as being "fluid" and "organic". Such behaviour, I believe, is on the same level as online bullying and harassment, or cyberbullying, which is currently such a problem in the various evolutionary forms of so-called "social media" that it is currently being addressed, in Australia, at the highest government levels. Can we not conduct a conversation of a particular style without such intrusion, should we choose to do so?

 

Regarding conversations staying "on track", I think, is really not the issue. What I am endeavouring to establish and maintain is open conversation, without the constant threat of interjection, insertion and intrusion of a different style to that which exists in this thread, or elsewhere for that matter. This, when there are already many other threads, on the forum, that offer the opportunity for others to express themselves in those styles that they may prefer.

 

I believe that in a Mental Health Forum, it is especially important to allow members to establish and maintain a variety of different threads, of their own choosing, in their preferred arrangements, to which I have often referred, among them being, style, format, function, presentation and structure. Everyone does not fit into one little neat basket or box, or boxes; the theme of which was alluded to in the song by Malvina Reynolds called "Little Boxes", in the early '60s. The song is very repetitive, but that is the whole point at issue. Do we all have to be "just the same"??? If you read the background to why and by whom the song was written, you may see the reasons for my aversion to some issues.

{Links for the youtube clips (below) of the songs updated}

Malvina Reynolds - little boxes - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUoXtddNPAM&ab_channel=SouledOut

Pete Seeger, Version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-sQSp5jbSQ&ab_channel=RajOsu

 

Lyrics

 

Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky
Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes all the same


There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

 

And the people in the houses
All went to the university
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same


And there's doctors and lawyers
And business executives
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same

 

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same


There's a pink one and a green one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

 

 

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Malvina Reynolds

Little Boxes lyrics © O/B/O Apra Amcos

 

I hope that there are others who, such as I, would prefer to scroll through a thread, that offers other people's posted considerations and responses about mental health issues that apply to themselves and to others, as well as the community and society in general, without tripping over comments that would in 'normal' constructive and focussed conversation, be considered extremely impolite. I really question whether we have thrown courtesy and manners out the window in favour of chaos, "fluidity" and "Organics", implying that our existences and interactions should be totally miscible, the use of which word, in itself, is an interesting play with the meaning of the word which is a member of the homophone "community" {which has nothing to do with gender expression or identity}.

 

I would like to have developed the conversation further today with responses to other members. However, I have already applied a lot of time to the material that I am offering here, so I now want to post what I have prepared to this time and will follow with responses to other members in other posts.

 

With Best Wishes to All

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

@HenryX 

 

Your clarity of description of forum dynamics and tendencies is valid, and being able to set preferences is a proactive way of bringing out the best features of a forum such as this.

 

 In my way I am trying to be proactive with my forum use too. I came late to social media and lasted less than 5 years, nor do I have a mobile phone.  I joined facebook after I joined this forum to have a look at all the fuss. I am interested in the concept of Form, Norm Storm. Perform in its role with teams, community and discussion and debate.  I am concerned that excessive censorship short circuits healthy robust dialogue, and sometimes the mods  @Former-Member  are possibly over diligent with the 'best of intentions'.  Still, I am prepared to keep working on the matter

 

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_86.htm 

 

Glad you enjoyed my contribution.  Cos the 'albatross around the neck' metaphor represents psychological injury, I thought it relevant to a forum and simply, relevant to me, with my neck condition.

 

Great you got out and gave music to the aged community.

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Thankyou very much for your message @HenryX 

I try not to say much about my daughter, because I know she wouldn't like it. I would be more than happy to share more about her if I knew she wouldn't mind. But she does. 
Life is like a roller coaster. 
Today I was overwhelmed, organising a party for my daughter. 
They sound like they're having fun, and I'm sure it will be a success. 
Trying to relax now, after 2 days of preparations. 

I hope you are going well. 😊

 

Re: Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

Thank you @Former-Member for reading the material that I offered and for the comment about your daughter's position. It is one that I entirely understand and respect. This will be (unusually) a short note because I am due to go out shortly, having also been out most of yesterday.

 

with My Very Best Wishes to You and The People for Whom You Especially Care,

@HenryX