Henry's Landing Strip & Hangar

[Anastasia]

---

@HenryX wrote:

Hello to All,

@Emelia8 , @Anastasia , @Mazarita , @Appleblossom , @BlueBay , @Clawde , @greenpea , @Snowie , @Faith-and-Hope , @Meowmy , @Alicat , @Eve7 , @Judi9877 , @NatureLover , @Mumi , @Bow , @Itsjustme1 , @ShiningStar , @CalmingNature , @Peri , @Dec , @outlander , @WIP , @Sophia1 , @Shaz51 , @TAB , @frog , @Smiling_Gecko , @The-Hams , @jem80 , @Daisydreamer , @cloudcore , @flybluebird , @BPDSurvivor , @Jynx , @TideisTurning , @1stepup61

Please extend an invitation to anyone else who may enjoy being here.

In @Emelia8 's words

“Good morning everyone and may today be one of your happy days.”

In @Anastasia 's words

“Party girls without the party!!!”

I know that there may be a few of us who do not qualify as members of the “girls” category, but may we join in too?

I hope that we may be able to enjoy the activity of a virtual party, maybe for the weekend so that anyone who cannot join in tonight can do so tomorrow.

Being aware that it is after 11.00 pm this Saturday night for some people.

The following are presentations offered by @Mumi . I'm not sure whether she is nearby at the moment, but I hope that @Mumi will not mind us enjoying both the humour and the beauty in these two graphics. It is certainly, I would believe, our collective hope that @Mumi is well, as we also extend Best Wishes to everyone on the forum.

We share an environment that can be demanding and nurturing. Maybe we can extend the nurturing, encouraging, supportive, enjoyable aspects of who we are, during the weekend as well as further on.

Now so that I do not have time to write another of “Henry's Little Books”, I think that I should post this invitation straight away.

Please invite others who you may think would enjoy the interaction.

Cheers

@HenryX

---

I love this @HenryX 

Of course you and others can join. Aren't we all party "girls" at heart x

Sleep well dear Henry. I trust you have enjoyed your Saturday 🙏

[HenryX]

Thank you @Anastasia for your reply. I believe that with you here we are of to a very good start and thank you also for the inclusion.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Anastasia]

Hello @HenryX 

It appears the party is yet to takeswing.i have been in bed since yesterday having received a number of phone calls from my son that were distressing to say the least. I have a migraine and just no drive to lift me out of the place I'm in today. He comes home tomorrow and dread is an understatement. He's angry as I've imposed boundaries. Causing grief from a distance. I am not coping and I have work again tomorrow which will take me all of my energy to focus. I don't expect a response I just wanted to share guess. I have absolutely no one to talk to and if I could I would disappear right now. 

[HenryX]

Hello @Anastasia

Yes, the “party” may have to be postponed to another time, I think.

I believe that I may be able to understand your concern with regard to your son, the issues that he faces as well as other developments and connections in his life, from what you have described.

Those boundaries that you have established, I think are important. Since you have considered them and then let your son know, I hope that you will be able to maintain your position. The boundaries, as far as I'm aware, were established in your mind before major pressure came into the picture and I feel that it would be good, even essential, for you to maintain your position.

…....... “ ….......

“

I do believe that you, being able to hold your ground and position, will, despite possible resistance from your son, probably give him the stability that will serve him best. He may want everything to be the way that he wants it to be. However, I think that may become just a case of "building on shifting sand" and will not offer him a sense of stability and security, despite his possibly expressed wishes for something different. That something different, of his wishes, may also change from time to time without the stability that you provide. And, with all that, I am very conscious that it is often very easy for Mums to concede ground for a child.

…....... “ ….......

“

I keep thinking that I wish that I could extend energy out to you and others. The only expression or word I can think of is “psychic” transfer of positives. I guess it is probably an appropriate way to describe the desired expression and extension of thoughts and wishes across time and space, despite some, possibly dubious connotations.

I hope that my words may offer some peace from a distance.

…....... “ ….......

“

During the past couple of hours, I have been looking over a previous

Topic Tuesday // Let's Talk About Bipolar // Tues 23rd March, 7:00-8:30PM AEDT ,

in an attempt to work out some of my own issues.

I'm not sure that the information is providing me with much clarity, or if I am even on the right track. However, it may be just part of a process of elimination till I find “the right track”. Or simply continue to live my life, in the best way that I can, with what I already know. That existence of “stasis” though, is not really appealing, so I will continue my search and hopefully add to my existing knowledge and maybe find places where I can apply that knowledge.

…....... “ ….......

“

At present, on another browser window, I have the following music playing. I tried a couple of other pieces and they really did not fit my mood, and were even jarring. I am happy with this one though.

8 Hours of Mysterious Relaxing Music * Harp, Flute, Piano & Strings for Sleep & Meditation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6R8uiaMtb0&ab_channel=SoothingRelaxation

The browser window, from which this piece is playing, has a selection of eight different music pieces of between 3  and 4 1/2 hrs, one of nearly 12 hrs. I select one that matches how I am feeling at any given time. I can be occupied with that music playing in the background.

.….......  “ ….......

  “

I have enjoyed, appreciated and valued our correspondence since I rejoined the forum @Anastasia and am very happy to talk with you in this, unfortunately, limited environment. But we offer each other the best that we can in our anonymity. Maybe we are disappeared, as you say, to everyone but ourselves.

In any way that I can here, I am happy to offer, (as I hope that I may do) and receive, (as I am aware that I do) nurturing support, so that we are not among the disappeared.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX

[Anastasia]

Thank you for listening and hearing me. Your words do offer some comfort @HenryX. I feel grateful for you and your company. I will have a listen to your music, thank you.

It sounds like you are searching yourself for answers? I read your pdoc sessions bring out all the emotions. I commend you on your progress. I for one see huge growth since first connecting with you here. Interesting that you are reading through bipolar...My son's first diagnosis was bipolar. Three years down the track and countless names and diagnosis given,  I'm convinced names (labels) aren't helpful, not for my son anyway. I prefer to focus on symptoms rather than labels. I also understand there may be some comfort in the names too. I know when my son was diagnosed with current condition he cried and felt validation finally, so I guess who am I to make that call?

I just feel with him the label can be unhelpful in his choice not to move forward at times. Perhaps I'm not as educated as I like to think and just harsh? Perhaps unkind even? Everyone else has pretty much walked away, it's just me, I can't walk away but geez it's bl👀Dy hard Henry. I just want so much for him to start to live, use the tools, make good decisions.

I'm happy to listen if you want to talk about what you're searching for? I promise not to be harsh. I've enjoyed our interactions too @HenryX. I appreciate your patience with our friendship, I know I'm not the easiest person to get to know 🙏

[HenryX]

Hello @Anastasia

Here I have written one of “Henry's Little Books”. It is a form of self expression to which I am unaccustomed. If you or anyone else would like to comment, that would be fine, but not an expectation. I hope that some of the ideas that I have expressed here may also be useful for others in some way.

The reason for my coming onto the forum in 2015 and rejoining this year, was indeed because I knew, or at least believed, that there have been and are issues for me to address. Evidence of that has been through family interactions, work associations, friendships, “love relationships”, marriage issues and other social interactions. There simply seems to have existed a significant inability, on my part, to develop effective connections. There was also considerable conflict, particularly within family interactions. Those conflicts have not been openly physical interactions, in terms of physical assault, except in one instance, when I was assaulted by a friend of a relative, but otherwise, it has been very close. Now, I live on my own, occupy myself at the computer, where I hope that I am able to engage with you and others in mutually and reciprocally beneficial ways. I would say that I, despite some social activities that I have mentioned, live a relatively reclusive lifestyle. While I might say it with a smile, even my dog is lonely, which is not a good thing, though she continues to be playful and affectionate. Interestingly, even she is more interested in the game than affection. Dog like its human companion.

I've just filled in some details on the paragraph above and find myself distressed at not knowing or having clear answers. I do not know whether the problems are from outside, a reaction to the way that I project myself in the company of others. Or the more obvious possibility that for medical or psychological reasons, I create the problems that appear to, or do exist around me.

Another issue is that I do not seem to have been able to find the means of expressing myself in a generally acceptable way, according to my own standard, in the wider community. I can see signs in earlier life of psychosis and paranoia and relatively recent financial transactions that have questionable foundation. It is possible that for the first time in my life I am stating some of the characteristics and attributes that may help to identify and lead to the possibility of addressing the issues that I am confronting. In my present life, I also see signs of withdrawal and isolation.

In my life, since school days, there has always seemed to have been a sense of distance and unease between me and others, particularly those in my own age bracket. There have been some good times, but the thought that comes to mind is that those times are as prominent as Uluru in the desert.

Even as a child, I believe that I preferred or felt more comfortable in my own space. Of the two friends that I had and spent time with during early teenage years, one has isolated himself and the other died in a car accident, at around age 20, that I suspect, may not have been an accident.

I do understand what you mean about labels. They serve a purpose for those who need to use them, but if the definitions are slavishly followed, without regard for and reference to the circumstances and specific presentations of the person concerned, they can even be very misleading. The counsellor with whom I speak, is cautious to let me know that when she uses a reference, she suggests that, (in my own words), it should be regarded only as a reference rather than a definition. Our discussions consider symptoms that cross, what may be considered, artificially imposed and defined boundaries. In this way, we seem to use the terminology as something to be considered as a parameter, rather than a point.

I find that discussion of the “issues”, to which I referred in my first paragraph, are distressing to refer to and to consider. It is possible that I have either avoided addressing the issues or simply been clever, adept and adroit at or about endeavouring to appear, in a manner that I have believed to be, “normal”. I recognise that such behaviour can lead to significant internal psychological tensions and conflicts that can create other difficulties. As I said to another member, we can also, in this way, do ourselves a considerable dis-service, because the real person rarely comes to the surface, where the issues may become apparent, or at least the reasons for their existence may more easily be identified, established and appropriately considered and addressed.

I am also aware, that during my childhood, if there was any evidence of “abnormality” or psychological dysfunction, one would cover and minimise the expression of that quality. It was considered inappropriate to display any abnormal behaviour in public. It was definitely in ones own interests and those of the family to avoid such expression or presentation, in order not to be ostracised, isolated or even institutionalised {which continued to occur until the 90's}. Consequently, there were, at the time, what would be considered justifiable reasons for subterfuge and “clever”, “adroit” or “adept” covering of any qualities or characteristics that may have made one appear different. That was simply the way life was, or at the very least, how it was perceived to be. And, if one was not successful in accomplishing that goal, the consequences would be what one had wanted to avoid. That is not to say that there was no evidence of compassion where real problems existed. In fact, there was support and compassion. It was simply best not to be seen as needing that compassion, pity or the more stringent restrictions that could be applied when mental illness was evident.

An expression that was used in my childhood was “It is a dirty bird that fouls its own nest”. The reference was to suggest that it was not appropriate to speak about one's own deficiencies, or any others that may have otherwise been evident among members of the family. This may possibly be a reason why I have found it so difficult to overcome that imposed and subsequently, personally adopted reservation about speaking of my own perceived faults and deficiencies.

As I have offered to others, the suggestion that my comments may be useful for other practitioners, medical or psychological, may well apply in my own situation. Actually, I have given the counsellor copies of material that I have written, in addition to my own written interpretation of material from a reference book that was loaned to me for personal development and “self assessment”. These exercises have been in addition to my own work and research.

So I am hoping that, even at this stage of my life, that self awareness may be satisfying, possibly have other beneficial effects in my life and enable me to engage more productively with others.

I think @Anastasia , that possibly, for a variety of different reasons, we may both consider ourselves,

“not the easiest (people) to get to know.”

With Hope and Best Wishes

@HenryX

[Anastasia]

Thank you for your reply @HenryX which I read and appreciate but need to sleep so will return to respond properly (hopefully) tomorrow 🙏

Sleep well tonight my friend 💤

[Alicat]

Thank you @HenryX for your invite 😊 so very interesting and amazing machines and how brilliant are the many people who made them fly.

[Anastasia]

Quick tap on the shoulder @HenryX to say hi friend 👋

Hope all is well with you. Hello to all here too 👋

@Alicat @Emelia8 @Former-Member @Appleblossom 

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Emelia8 

@Former-Member @Alicat 

@HenryX  You are so clear and thoughtful when you write, but I sometimes cannot read all your posts unless they are addressed to me.  Hope thats fine.  You add a sense of class to the discussioin.

@Anastasia 

Gently with you.  Hold to your boundaries, or at least the basic ones that you can be consistent with.  It sounds like he needs it and try and find some way, maybe with humour, or something that you can hold strong for him.  He has been getting a great deal of support for a long time, and he might have forgotten how to access his own strength,  Hope the anger just helps him stiffen his spine and does not spill out too much.