Good Morning @Mumi , @Emelia8 , @Appleblossom , @Clawde , @Anastasia , @Sophia1 , @BlueBay , @TAB , @1stepup61
@Mumi , and others, While we may be concerned about compliance with the Guidelines & Info side of writing about our issues and lives, I think, that as long as we keep them in mind, we should not be so concerned as to reduce our discussions to what may become {“I can't mention it here because of guidelines......”} by which our communication becomes very stunted.
I do believe that, as long as we keep the guidelines in mind, endeavouring to respect the purpose of those guidelines and comply as far as possible, we can allow more meaningful discussion between us.
Remembering also that we have the support of forum moderators if they think that something in our discussion may conflict with the guidelines. We know how to adjust by editing, any post that is marked as so required. If anyone needs help with that, I have posted a
“Method for editing withdrawn/removed posts”
in previous comments on this thread. Or simply YELL,
“I want help with editing” in any thread.😉
We can also word what we want to convey in different or less direct wording, for example we may refer to something in words such as “something that may cause us harm” for a more specific 'one word' item.
I do believe that we not only need to comply with guidelines, but also need to think of ways that we can word our discussions meaningfully, while still respecting the essence of the guidelines – in other words,
“thinking outside the square {or box or whatever.....}.”
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@Mumi , I do hope that your concern is easing as you become more familiar with what has been offered, specifically regarding the detox arrangements, and the conditions that are attached. Conditions such as 'living space', the guidelines and requirements of the supporting organisation, meaning the positive and supportive aspects of those guidelines & requirements....etc. All the while, keeping in mind what exists to maintain your self-respect and sense of comfort and protection.
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@Appleblossom , You have recently written about your family and what you have offered, in terms of guidance, assistance and support that you have given and attempted to provide. Particularly to the children for whom you have considered it your place, privilege and resposibility to offer all those parts of your-self. All this with the knowledge and understanding that has been derived from the positives and also, unfortunately, the many negative aspects of your own life experiences.
My admiration to you for your contributions, which I am obviously, only aware of from your comments and posts on this forum.
As a male, in the circumstances that prevailed in my life situation, I have, to a large degree, been excluded from a lot of the opportunity to contribute to the development and welfare of my children. Some people would see this as making life easy. Comments such as; “you must find it so much easier not to have to put up with children around” show how some would view the situation. However, the comment and the reality are difficult to accept, respond to and live with.
This comment, of mine, is not made to say one or another situation, is better than, or more difficult to cope with, but simply a comparison of realities that demonstrate the difficulties, pain and even, occasionally, the sense of desperation that may accompany each situation.
It is difficult to deal with the fact that it is not until the later end of life that one may have the opportunity, to contribute in any direct and meaningful way, to the lives of one's own children, and that when they are virtually adults. I have written, only recently, on my engagement with, and wish to develop relationships with my children, so I believe that I understand the difficulties and challenges from a number of perspectives. In many ways we have and are experiencing life at the two extremes of the “scale”.
We have the need for distractions from the difficulties of caring for children and, in different circumstances, the need to fill the emptiness left by the absence of children.
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@Emelia8 , I am aware that you contribute significantly to the forum and offer a lot of support for others and me. You do all that very quietly, {in the forum sense}. The fact that you are also dealing with your own significant issues, makes what you offer and your contributions all the more special.
That is a similar situation to that which exists for others also.
I do believe that I can sense, sometimes, a variation in your comfort level.
I do hope that your forum activity provides a sense of purpose when that is needed, especially a feeling of support at times when it may most be received with appreciation and a real sense of engagement with others of us who would like to offer mutual and reciprocal support and nurturing as much as is possible through this medium.
I know that @Mumi has expressed the wish, that many have also thought and wished, that closer connections could be available. I do believe that the very fact that such a wish is expressed is an indication, that even in this limited context, we are able to commence and maintain meaningful and valuable connections, to and for each other.
Since I need to get ready to go out, I will post this comment and come back again this afternoon/evening {depending on where you are}
For Now
My Very Best Wishes to All,
@HenryX
Note: 6.15 pm Sat 20 Nov '21. Edited for spelling errors, which, I think, neither add to, or take away from the meaning.
