Good Morning!

[MDT]

Hope it's okay tabs @TAB

[TAB]

yeah, crap day that's all Hams thanks @MDT 

[MDT]

I see tabs @TAB
Sh&t happens aye

[MDT]

Morning forumites
I had woken up during the night anxious. Had to check my phone to make sure I had not missed a cardio appointment. Randomly just entered my mind.
Checked my phone and its all good.
Turns out all my appointments coming up will be close.

Also feeling usless and pathetic. But had interview yesterday for peer support role. May hear back from them soon I hope.

Just need to practice radical self compassion today.

About to get some food to est (substantial) and then plan out week and do what I gotta do

[TAB]

recently, when I was more organised , I used to plan next day out before bed, so get re-inforcement, like studying and when get up, all have to do is whatever is on the page lol .. @MDT 

had interestingy hard, bad day  yest, that made me even more negative as day went on and got even more tired and frustrated.

anyway, 90% of travel 'to' is down now. Wont be time pressure on way home. 

I created time pressure this way by pre -booking too far in advance.. so if things were going pear shaped, felt I could not cur trip short for the day and or layover for a day, which have prob done way more often in the past than I realise .. anyhoo .. off to get clothes for funeral soon, then will know if have to say wait for alterations or not, ie stay round here or not, and whether stay here which I bagged, cos just easier than packing up and going somewhere else lol.. am still 100ks away from town where funeral will be , but its on Friday, gave myself So much time incase something went wrong lolz..  Hope the rest of your day goes okay ..

[Former-Member]

I was the same. Stern lack of self compassion and being a harsh taskmaster on myself I learned came from solar plexus chakra imbalance @MDT   Once I had this chakra balanced the self judgement went away and was far more self tolerant than I had ever was. I did not understand WHY I could've been so hard on myself.  I use pyramids and hertz frequencies off you tube to balance chakras. By having them balanced your relationships also change for the better 💜

[TAB]

..I used to get told same thing @Former-Member @MDT  ie hard on myself, I couldnt see it. was always trying to please parents(read father) almost never worked unless went to huge lengths. never lasted long lol . Maybe things will change now he is gone..

[Former-Member]

I think we can internalise the shame we feel and just go about with lots of justification in the end @TAB as to why we don't just measure up to our own expectations.  Working with my chakras has given me a new lease on life.  I hope you funeral goes ok.  I'm sorry your father was hard on you.  When parents have high expectations of themselves they can punitively judge others and do damage to their kids.  But you can get the monkey off your back and begin living a better life free of all the pain caused by the damning inner critic 

[MDT]

Sounds like you have it all planned out thoroughly @TAB
Good thinking
Yeah I have plan for this week to not do anything on one day. Will go to a new museum at old uni and then also look at getting something to eat and I can read at a Cafe. May buy some books. Just a day of totally what I want.

Yeah I have been planning out weeks and I make a lost at days beginning but I'm running out if stuff to do lol.

Well need to get some coffee so came up here. Taking 30-45mins then can focus on study options overseas. Looking in to that again.

Learning to forgive myself TKO

[MDT]

Yeah idk @TAB @Former-Member
I spoke to parents on weekend as was feeling bad. Said my sister and me felt like we had let them down. But was able to articulate the issues.
Just keep on keeping on.
At least it won't be as hot anymore too. Autumn is here 🙂