Good Morning!

[MDT]

I see @Wanderer
I have been playing a game called Crusader Kings 3 - its a grand strategy.
Inspired to play it again after watching the last kingdom on netflix - based on a book series.

It's set in the 860s before England formed.

[Clawde]

GoodMorning Everyone hoping your Day is just lovely 👍😃

[MDT]

Morning all

[Rosemary4]

Good Morning Forumite family. 

How is everyone?

How do you cope wirh people rubbing in your face how much you hurt them my attempting suicide or past breakdowns. Yesterday someone did that,vtold me it's affected (damaged) all their future relationships and their life  F O R E V E R...It makes me want to go killl myself. No matter how much I tell this person "sorry, I didn't set out to hurt you... they remind me regularly, with that angry emotion behind it. . . I can't handle it and can't get out of bed this morning, thinking about it and my failures... 

How do we live with our mistakes 😭

[Former-Member]

Hello @Clawde wishing you a wonderful day.  What have you got planned for today?  I am getting my vegie planters delivered that were made by a carpenter.  I'm starting a vegie patch to be more self sufficient.  Got my seeds from a seedsaver swap group and February will be the month for planting! YIPEEE

[Former-Member]

@Rosemary4 Kierkegaard a philosopher once said to be subjective of others and objective towards yourself. I'm sorry if this person has been dredging up the past as this is unskilled behaviour. I would not like to be told over and over again that my disability ruined someone elses life.  They need to be objective about who they are as people and their role and subjective to you - to fully see you and your pain.  You don't go blaming disabled people for something over which they have no control as its self centred. You probably need them out of your life and cut ties.  I wonder if they ever considered what caused your breakdown and how much pain you were in to begin with?  Its not worth getting upset over, love.  This person obviously is self interested and doesn't care about anyone but themselves

[Former-Member]

Hi @Rosemary4,

That's really tough to hear, and it can have a stronger sting when it comes from someone you care about. I can hear that you're struggling this morning, so I'm also checking in to see that you're feeling safe? 

Please let us know how you're travelling and be gentle with yourself today 💙

[Rosemary4]

Thanks @ Smiling_Gecko @@ 
This person is a relative, that I do care about (love), so very hard to cut out of my life. I also know how deep it hurts to be on the receiving end of that rejection from significant others myself, and this person suffers depression & anxiety. I don't want to deliberately hurt people. I have however finally expressed my inability to handle the guilt trip it triggers and asked them not to or distance from me. Their choice kinda. But now the anxiety has spiked, worried I've lost another 😢
Also, it's hard to see myself as 'disabled' when I'm pressured to work full time, and my body works, an people judge my struggles as A CHOICE! 😩 ... I keep trying... but keep tripping over and end up alone and I hate being alone. Like a contagious leper, or monster...
But then again, ambi the same when  I don't see any human as safe anymorre, not really. It's all such a cockup! And apparently my fault ☹️ Can't stop crying today. But don't worry, I am Hoping, trusting tomorrow will be better. I donno. Have you had similar experiences?

@Former-Member  ^^^ I'm safe, just sad 🌻

[Former-Member]

@Rosemary4 My brother and only relative of mine have very little to do with eachother.  He has similar erroneous beliefs about my unemployment even though I was deemed an employment risk by a disabled recruitment agency.  If you can't work and honestly can say that with every fibre of your being then its not a problem.  I have done cleaning in the past, supermarket work and disability work.  But since then could not work. 

My brother dredges up the past constantly such as me not attending my parents funeral interstate even though I am unable to travel due to M.E. and can barely leave the house even for essential things. If people are not prepared to cut you some slack its best to put your boundaries and not expose yourself to their negative attitudes. 

We are the deserving poor, not like those people we are mistaken as being - those who are flaunting the system.  Unfortunately the prevailing ethos of society is those who don't work don't deserve welfare.  I would say your relative has had a hard time of it having to work but looking at you and not understanding the level of suffering you experience because its invisible.

Try and not get upset. Its not your fault and whenever something goes wrong people are all too willing to pin the blame.  Do something nice for yourself today.  I understand how alienating these notions are coming from ill-informed people xxoo

[Judi9877]

Good morning and good afternoon @Clawde @Former-Member @Rosemary4 @Former-Member @MDT @greenpea @Ant7 @Meowmy @Shaz51 @frog @outlander @Snowie @AussieRecharger @BlueBay @Zoe7 @Peri @Emelia8 @oceangirl @Daisydreamer @Former-Member @Paperdaisy @tyme @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope and all forumites here. I hope your Friday is going well!

I’m sorry I haven’t been on the forums for the past few days. I’ve had a depressive period and also trouble with meds which are now sorted. I’ve emailed my psychologist and I have a phone appointment with them tomorrow so things should be better after they. I’ll be fine! 

Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877☺️💐