Christmas Loungeroom

[Zoe7]

Not boring at all @aficionado - we all deal with the holiday period in our own way. You sound like you have good plans to get through the day and for some treating it as just like any other day is preferable. There will be plenty of people on here throughout the day if you feel like forum company. I will be checking in throughout the day myself so feel free tom tag me if you like. 

[aficionado]

@Zoe7

Thank you! I will very likely be checking this forum out. The Internet has been almost exclusively the only way I have interacted with my fellow humans for years now, since I have been living like a hermit with minimal human interaction (due to several reasons, not all of which are voluntary). Anyway, that's beyond the scope of this thread I suppose. Let me not ruin the festive spirit for everyone else by mentioning details about depressing personal life.

[Zoe7]

You are welcome to talk here too @aficionado - it is also a thread to help people get through Christmas. It was started so everyone had somewhere to come over this time of year and generally chat about anything - so if there is stuff you need to get off your chest then go for it - happy to listen 

[Zoe7]

@BlueBay this is where we have been all gathering for Christmas this year so please stop by and join us. 

[aficionado]

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@Zoe7 wrote:

You are welcome to talk here too @aficionado - it is also a thread to help people get through Christmas.

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@Zoe7

Thanks again! I just wish I could hibernate during the holiday/festive season, so that I don't have to be reminded of how lonely I am, and the fact that I probably need to live out the rest of my life with minimal human interaction. Of course, I am not jealous or bitter towards people privileged enough to be accepted as part of the human species and given a chance to mingle. But I can't help but feel extremely depressed and sad during this time of the year, which usually results in a few depressive/borderline episodes over several days. It isn't a big deal though, because I am mostly stable with the help of meds and therapy. But the sadness and emotions during this time of the year often get overwhelming for me to handle. I couldn't help but sob uncontrollably for almost an hour earlier today, but thankfully I could get a hold on myself before it could escalate into a panic attack.

Of course it is wonderful to have people on online forums who are so supportive and kind. But occasionally, I do miss human company in the real world. Humans who actually are able to look beyond my supposed 'weirdness', and don't resort to calling me a 'crazy loon' (or something similar) or look down on me for being 'a sad and pessimistic man who just drains others' happiness as well' (yes, this is what I have been told, although I go out of my way to hide my sadness and fake a smile).

[Zoe7]

I think it is really great that you have that kind of control over your emotions despite it still being a lonely time of the year. I have found that the meds I am currently on help me a lot as well - I am more stable and able to deal with things that even 6 months ago I would not have been able to deal with - it also has given me a new sense that I can move forward and make some kind of meaningful life for myself. It is not a 'fix all' but a step in the right direction.

I do understand the sense of loneliness but for me it is self-imposed to avoid further hurt in my life - that means I avoid social interactions if at all possible and do not let anyone in or get close to people who could potentially let me down. Until recently this has also been the case with family. I have become closer to my sister of late and actually enjoy her company so that is a positive.

Christmas is a time of year that is lonely for so many - it should be about family and those social interactions that that brings but for those who don't have familym or a strained or broken relationship with then it is extremely tough.

Be assured that there will be people on here on throughout Christmas that will keep you company and although it is not the same as having company in person - it is company from people that care and understand what you are going through @aficionado.

[TAB]

Faking can work @aficionado Ive been up most of night, topped up xmas shop w black and gold pudding which will give half of to birds and 4 dixie cups for icecream ration re weight. No one contacted my re my xmas movements. I’m not moving. I will have to ring father tho. Not looking forward to it. I’m better than was yest re despair at stages. Just having to continually ‘coach’ myself. It’s working 😸 hi @Zoe7 @greenpea @lapses @Shaz51 @Bill16 @MDT 👋 hope you’re ok @Former-Member 🎄☕️🍰

[Zoe7]

I know it is not the same @TAB but I will be checking in with you for Christmas. I have a big family lunch to get through but feeling more able to cope with thst this year. The 3 hour time difference will mean I may check in with you early but I will be around in the afternoon.

I hope that call to your Dad goes ok Mr. Tabby Cat - not good that it is a source of anxiety for you though - family can certainly pull our strings hey!

[TAB]

Yep @Zoe7 am predicting guilt at the minimum re phone call. Am trying to work out timing of call and more acceptible ok vague yet non negative things to say. Not ringing on the day. Don’t want to speak to siblings. Well they don’t so why should I?

[Zoe7]

It is sad that you are disconnected from your siblings @TAB but I understand the feeling that you don't want to contact them as they don't contact you. Hopefully your call to your Dad goes better than you expect - fingers crossed for you.