Best Friends Club

[rav3n]

@Gremlin24 ahh yep i doubt the iced coffee sachets have too much caffeine in them anyways... definitely might be another culprit to our poor sleep...😅

oh that's a super cool way of helping others!! i'm so sorry that the DV relationship really changed things for you, do you feel some grief around losing that version of yourself? it really sucks that someone at CFS threatened your safety too ughh!! you deserve to feel like you shine again. and in case you didn't know, you really shine on the forums. there are some threads that i've come across and i've seen you help others and share such kind words - it might not be the same as being a cadet, but i can see your passion for helping others really come through on the forums - and it's just as lovely to witness. 

do you think you'll go back to the ice rink one day? do you maybe have a new dream you'd like to build (even if it's a small one)?

[Gremlin24]

@rav3n yeah they aren't high in caffeine. So there's definitely something else contributing to our poor sleep 😂 

I don't know if I'd call it grief, i don't remember much from my childhood other than the traumatic events, my brain has blocked it out. Awww thankyou, that means alot to hear. I've always loved helping others when they are at their most vulnerable, i just can't do it in the real world anymore cos of my anxiety. 

My only dream now as sad as it is, is to be invisible. Every now and then I've thought about making things to sell but my lack of self confidence always gets in the way. But I'm glad I can help people here so I guess that's what I'll do when I can. Haven't had it in me to comment on too many posts lately as I've had too much going on myself. 

[rav3n]

@Gremlin24 it's totally not our anxious thoughts swirling around that makes it harder to sleep... 😅 what time do you usually knock off? do you manage to get a bit of sleep most nights?

oh yep, i can relate to finding it easier to remember the bad times rather than the good from my childhood too. honestly, i only know some of those 'good times' existed because other people told me about it and said 'remember when XYZ happened!?'... yeah totally!!! 

i hear how hard anxiety makes real life interactions, and i'm really glad you've been able to interact online - even if you haven't been able to post as much recently, that's completely fine. we all have days where we're more interactive than others, and we all have our own limits. the important part is we recognise our own limits and don't push ourselves - which i think you've done a great job of identifying for yourself too. 

selling your work sounds like a lovely idea!! totally understand that building confidence to do it can take time, and i hope the forums can help you with that too. hmm how do you feel about donating stuff for free to start off? i had a colleague who'd donate lil toys to schools, i wonder if something similar would be a less intimidating future goal? or actually that reminds me - have you seen those lil library mailboxes!? you could probably make your own version of it but instead of putting books, putting your crafts in it for strangers to take!

[Gremlin24]

@rav3n totally not 😂. I'm in bed from 7.30pm but I just sit on my bed and listen to music, watch my TV show and colour until i start getting sleepy. At the moment I'm getting 2-3 hours a night which is hardly enough to function. 

Sometimes it's like my memory has been wiped other than very specific events. Even when my mother has said 'do you remember this' I'm like nope not at all and just question whether it's a lie or not, especially knowing that she is a compulsive liar. 

Sometimes I've read a post on here and it's triggered me or I'm just like nope I can't even begin to deal with that, I do feel bad that I can't help but it's just not within my limits. 

I've made so many things over the years to sell but they all just sit around my house doing nothing. I've given so much away to kindys and schools, donated stuff to charities etc. I'm thinking about putting my crochet turtles around shopping centres with a little card attached to them with a nice sentiment written on it. Just something to brighten someone else's day when they find one. But that's just an idea I've had, whether I could actually do it is another matter. 

[Arbie_wun]

Well, it seems that my fixing up of the kitchen has in fact opened up a proverbial Pandora's box of problems.  The Building Inspector who signed off on the construction of the house seems to have not done the job properly.  1 wall is in fact 200mm from where it should be, which means that the doorway is incorrectly positioned and as a result that impacts the entire operation of the back corner of the house.

According to the plans there is a post supporting the centre of roof at the rear of the house, but there is nothing there.  The roof trusses are not standard distances apart instead they are all randomly placed and in most places the fascia does not correctly attach to the rafter, the gap in some areas is larger than a garden hose. So now I have to investigate the course of action that I will need to take to rectify these problems.

[Gremlin24]

@Arbie_wun oh that sounds so frustrating. I hope it's not too hard to get sorted so you can get on with fixing the kitchen.

[Arbie_wun]

@Gremlin24 it unfortunately has been problematic and in fact could have been a contributing factor in something else which at the time I was completely unaware of.   The doorway to the toilet is only 620mm wide when the sliding door is fully open and that space is also impacted by a wall hung vanity which protrudes into the opening about 50mm.  

[Gremlin24]

@Arbie_wun oh no, that really sucks. 

[rav3n]

so sorry i missed this post!! got a bit caught up in mod-world!! @Gremlin24 ohh yep 2-3 hrs defs would make it hard to function. i've been going to bed in the am's and waking up in the pm's... eek!! but been working on waking up in the am's... which is a lil win for me hehe. do you nap often?

ahh it does make it harder when you can't trust your mum!! 

that's so fair, you're safety comes first!! glad you know when to step back.

aww love the idea of putting your crotchet turtles around with a note!! that would definitely make a lot of people's day. i believe you can do it!! but there's no rush, definitely take your time with building that confidence - i know you can!!

also gonna be heading off soon, will chat to you tomorrow! nightttt 💙

[Gremlin24]

@rav3n i don't nap very often at all, i always have intentions of doing so but it never happens. I was like that at one stage would go to sleep at like 6am and wake up around 3-4pm. But did manage to change back to a normal routine with a bit of effort. 

I have zero trust in her whatsoever. 

Some days i can offer that support to others, other days i just need to focus on keeping myself alive. 

Maybe one day I'll be able to build that confidence, guess only time will tell. 

Hope you have a good night and I look forward to chatting tomorrow ❤️.